Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: are formula fed babies smart and healthy?
Um...me? I could read short words at 18 months and was reading complete books by the time I was four. I was always in high level/AP classes in school and graduated college *** laude. I think a lot of it has to do with your family and upbringing so as long as you are a supportive and loving parent, your LO will do fine.
EDA: Ha! Honors in latin was edited by the bump!
This - and my brother has a photographic memory.
I was fed formula. I knew how to read at age 3.5 and spent two weeks in first grade before being skipped to second.
Please don't worry. Your baby will be fine. I have a 10 1/2 month old who I never breastfed and he is thriving. Meeting all his milestones on time (or ahead of schedule). Happy, lovable, SMART baby.
I was formula fed and am a teacher with a masters degree. My husband is a math professor with a PHD and was formula fed as well.
I EBF my baby, but I was formula fed. And I was valedictorian of my graduating class.
I know a ton of FF babies who are perfectly competent and smart and healthy. My twins are FF as well.
I was FF and I like to think I am smart. I am at the top of my class and I am going to law school. My DH and all his brothers and sister were FF. Nate's a doctor, Ben and Abby are lawyers, Charlotte is an accountant, John is a financial analyst, and Will is doing his MBA. Oh and we are in all pretty decent shape. Nate has a six-pack and I was very fit before pregnancy.
I was formula fed and so were both my sisters. Two of us have Masters degrees and one is in medical school. I like to think we have all become productive members of society.
As for health problems, I have no allergies and am never sick. My sister's health problems are not at all related to breast-feeding (problems from birth), and my other sister only has mild allergies. We are all a healthy weight, but we maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I really think genes and lifestyle are more influential than FF or BF. My DH was BF and he is constantly sick, has allergies, and struggles to maintain his weight. His sister is severely overweight and also has a ton of food allergies. Not to be mean, but I also don't think she is the most intelligent person on earth.
THIS!
Of course there are smart healthy people who were formula fed, but all statistics show that formula raises the risks of a number of issues. Breastfeeding never has.
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Me. I have a high IQ, always did well in school and at work, and my health issues have been minimal and genetic (gall stones from Dad's side of the family and bad eyesight from Mom's side of the family). And formula has gotten better since the early 70's.
I was only able to give my DS breastmilk for his first two weeks. He's now on formula and I don't feel bad at all. I did my best and it didn't work out due to circumstances beyond my control. DS is well-fed and doing great. I have no doubt he will reach his full potential.
Oh dear. It's like society goes from one extreme to another! Yes, BFing is "best" but that doesn't mean FFing is the devil and that you're child is going to be dumb. How you raise your child; how you interact with them and love them - THAT'S what matters most. You do what's best for your family and that will set the stage for your child's life.
And WTH are you reading?!
Seriously!!! I'm so sick of hearing this crap. I was formula fed, am not obese, am college educated, and have no diseases. I am PROUDLY formula feeding my son, and it's not because I had problems with BF. I CHOSE not to for my own personal reasons, just as people choose not to FF or to supplement.
Please don't beat yourself up. I was FF and I grad high school with a 3.9, grad undergrad with honors and 3.5, got my masters in a year, and rarely get sick. I love my parents, siblings, and found a wonderful man to marry. (Wow, I've never tooted my own horn so much!) I have a very healthy BMI. I turned out just fine.
I support you FF your baby. You are a good mommy!!!
Thanks ladies, you have made me feel better than I have in days since DD's birth.
I looked up online and of course all stats favor breast milk.
And everyone of my family and friends is breast fed and I really did not know people who were formula fed and were OK..
I know it does not sound very intelligent of me, but blame it on hormones. LOL.
All i could think was negative about myself and my decision to FF.
I feel really really bad because I could have chosen to breast feed but I did not try hard enough. I had issues with late supply (day 6), and got painful anal fissures. I am sure those are no big deal as everyone goes through such issues but still breast feed. I was also abused as a chilld and have horrible feelings regarding my breasts. I hate anyone touching them, including DH. I guess reminding myself of all this is just to make myself feel better, but in reality I could have breast fed if I could have just sucked it up and concentrated on DD. However, it was too physically and emotionally traumatizing for me to breast feed at that time.
I am glad now I know of so many people who are fine with FF.
Thanks a lot!
I'm not going to be snarky, but it seems you don't quite understand how statistics work.
Yes, statistically, BM is better for babies. That is true. But that doesn't mean that ALL babies who are FF are fatter, dumber, and have more allergies.
Forumula isn't bad for babies. Stop being so hard on yourself!
Heck, I was FF and I think I'm pretty smart, rather trim, and don't have any allergies.
All 3 of us were formula fed....my mom will tell you straight up that she was not comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding.
I'm a scientist, my sister is a psychologist, and my brother is a dentist. I think we all turned out ok in the intelligence department, and we all 3 are very active and healthy as horses. In fact, we don't live in the same city but we still all get together once a year to do a 5K together. No worries! Your baby will be fine
Your LO will be fine. My husbad and I were both FF, my mother smoked during her pregnancy, his mother drank during hers, and we both have very successful careers, live happy lives, and actually do have IQs that qualify for Mensa. Feed your child formula, and raise him/her in an enriching, loving and stimulating environment - that's what counts.