If you ask a pregnant friend "have you picked a name?" and they tell you something awful, what do you do? Smile and pretend you like it? Or give your honest opinion?
I just try to be neutral and say "oh, okay." My friend did tell me a really awful name that I had to try not to grimace over: Chrysanthemum.
Re: When a pg friend mentions a name you hate...
Honestly, even if it is a name I hated I wouldn't say anything. I think you are right to keep it neutral. Especially, if you are the one asking, and they have not asked for your opinion.
Maybe if they call her "chrissy" it will be ok.
I NEVER criticize. I remember how much I HATED when people made comments about DS' name. My SIL had picked out Madison for a girl (which I loathe), but I just said, Oh, I'm going to love her so much! Didn't make a comment about the name, just moved past the issue altogether.
They're having a boy, his name will be Austin (NMS), but I will love him anyway!!
Happened to me the other day when i ran into a girl i went to school with. I walked over and told her congrats and asked her the name and she said Shannon. Dont really hate the name just reminds me of the 80's and 90's. I told her it was a nice name and as i was walking away i thought to myself i hope i didnt make an eww face to the name lol.
Another one was Kayndence/Kayndance pronounced Cain-Dance..(cant remember how it was spelled) yeah i asked her how to spell it and she said "everyone always asks me that!" ummmm...should be a sign to think about using a different name..duh.
I'd keep my mouth shut, not my kid and I certainly wouldn't want anyone giving their opinion about what DH & I name our child - if you weren't involved with the creating, you don't get to be involved with the naming
I ALWAYS say something nice. Particularly because even if I hate it, who cares. I'm not bothered by other people's names even when I hate them. Plus, I like unusual names & am really annoyed when people say nasty things about them to my face. It's like "really? so will you dislike or not talk to my kid if I name them that?"
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Honestly, something like Chrysanthemum deserves the side eye. I'd probably be all like "WHAT?"
If it's just a name that not my style than no way would I say anything. But Chrysanthemum? I just might.
I would NEVER say anything negative to someone about their name choice IRL. It's just uncouth in my opinion.
And I happen to think Chrysanthemum is cute. It reminds me of the children's books.
If you asked, you have an obligation to be nice. If she asked for your opinion, you can be honest.
A good neutral follow-up is, "How did you choose that name?" Someone who has decided to name their child Bandit or Honeysuckle would probably love to tell you all about its special meaning.
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I would only give an opinion if it was asked for. If it was just being told to me, then I would be tactful and polite.
Aren't women on the Bump always complaining about people giving unsolicited opinions on their name choices?
Agreed.
I either compliment the name, or if it's nms or if it's even downright awful, I will smile and say something like, "How original!" which will usually get them talking about how they chose the name.
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Exactly. I don't tell anyone IRL my baby names because I don't want any influence.
Not everyone likes the same names so I probably keep my mouth zipped esp if you are the one asking... They really are not asking for an opinion.
oh snap! Guess you'd give me a big "awww" too
Chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum!
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That kid wouldn't learn how to spell it's own name till it was 10!!!
If it's a friend I wouldn't say anything.... It's the parents decision and as long as it's not offensive to the child then it's not really your place to say anything.
I know someone who named their child Lylah.... now I know it's becoming popular, but at the time I'd never heard the name before. The father is very vain and thinks only of himself and I thought.... Why would you name your girl Lylah? Aren't you worried she'll be vain like her father? Lylah's a GREAT stripper name and that's where she's going to be headed!!!!
I chose not to say anything but then later I learned that dad's the one that picked the name.... not mom... She says now that the name fits the little girl perfectly.... and I agree! She's a 2 year old ballerina who only wants to wear dresses.
I think that while we believe it may not be the right name, children grown into their names and I once read something on this website that says that as a parent... no matter how much you dislike the name... It will soon become your favorite name in the world.
It may surprise you how you find the name ends up being PERFECT for the little girl.
Remeber that it is their child to name as they please. And if the kid hates it they can always change it themselves when they get older. Outright saying you hate the name will only hurt your friend...and maybe even she wasnt sold on it at first. Things have a way of growing on you. But if your really concerned....say about the difficulty the child will have when she enters preschool and has to know how to spell her name I would probly go to someone with the authority to say something about the name....say the father or your friends parents.
I just know when I was pregnant I wanted my friends to be entirely supportive and love everything I did. They in now way had rights to the override key. And if they disagreed with any of my choices (even nursery decor) it turned into a huge fight.
I have to agree with those of you who've said you don't say what you really think. If your friend is considering the name, she obviously likes it! Besides, when that adorable kiddo gets here, who cares what their name is-as long as it's not offensive, to each their own.
My parents gave me a family name, Traer, and people always struggle to pronounce it and spell it. My mom's sisters wanted to name their daughters Traer but their husbands wouldn't let them. But after I was born the hubbies agreed they really liked the name!
I'm sure people looked at my mom strangely when she said my name to them the first time, but who cares! It's my name, it's unique & I love it.
Besides, how would you feel if you had a name you loved & one of your friends acted as though your name was horrible? It would hurt! It's really not going to hurt anyone to just be polite!
wow - why is everyone else so opinionated about what someone names her kid? Everyone is so excited to ask "so what names were you thinking of?", or "what's her/his name?" Then comes the reaction. "That's interesting/different/unique/special/modern/wow/never heard that one before/haven't heard that one in years." or just silence with an "okay". Those are all 'disses', just to give every one a heads up.
We're going through the process of picking names & have heard all of it - no matter what name is picked, someone has an opinion. Even playing it safe with John or Jane, is also commented as being boring/traditional/non-creative.
Everyone should just enjoy & respect the names that others choose. Why not even ask how they came up with it to rather show interest instead of shunning & changing the subject? There's always a sentimental reason behind it no matter what the name, and that is what's most important to the parents. Not what people actually think.