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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
NBR: I think DH is a pervert, WWYD
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Re: NBR: I think DH is a pervert, WWYD
um....really? how do you know he's not showing them to friends? if he is being dishonest when taking the pics/vids then why wouldn't he be dishonest about showing them off?
your whole "he's a man" attitude is frightening. it's usually that kind of attitude that gives men passes for cheating and (like the OP's H) lacking judgement and character.
And do you know what Ashton had that the OP's H didn't? HIS WIFE'S PERMISSION. Moron.
Violating your spouse's privacy and trust is a really shitty thing to do.
This! How do you know that he's not posting her pictures on the internet, nevermind showing them to his friends?
It's great that you wouldn't mind, but he did this WITHOUT her permission. He violated her privacy & trust and he broke the law!!
I can't decide if those of you that think this is ok have such low self esteem that you would let your H's get away with anything, or if you are just so naive you can't imagine them having bad intentions. Either way it creeps me out.
I am juding you.
What do you not understand about certifiable Sexual Abuse and Felony offense? Husband or no husband, what he did was not ok. If a husband forces sex, is that not still rape? Crime is crime is crime and what her husband did is an actual criminal offense and is incredibly serious.
And how in the world can you, not knowing her husband know his intentions behind taking the pictures?
I knew you broads were dumb....but I had NO idea how vastly dumb. The vastness of your stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
What part of voyeurism and NOT WITH YOUR PERMISSION do you hens NOT GET??? You think this is flattery? You think this is okay so long as he didn't take the pics of another woman???
Ever stop to thinjk this was JUST WRONG and she needs to confiscate the phone, call the cops and kick this sick *** out the door and not look back?????
And you can bet the pics don't end with his wife. Think about it.
I feel very, very sick for you.
What your H did is disgusting on many levels. I am so glad that there is some sound advice here (starting with ibis, and continuing on with those who agreed with her).
You are NOT overreacting.
If it were my H, he would need to find a new place to live. It wouldn't be with me.
C'mon....have at it.
You're not over reacting - he has really violated your privacy and your trust. I can't tell you why he is doing it, but you need to confront him and at a minimum, you need to get him into individual counseling as well as marriage counseling. I am not saying that there is something necessarily wrong with taking or having risque pictures of you IF and ONLY IF they are taken with your consent. But taking them w/o your knowledge is a very, very different matter.
I'm very sorry to hear this and wish you the best.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
OP, I am so very very sorry for you.
Honestly, if I found something like that on DH's phone I don't even know if I'd give him a chance to explain.
What your DH did is a violation of your marriage, a violation of you, and as several other people have mentioned - illegal. How will you ever be comfortable taking your clothes off in your own home again? And how sick and twisted is it that your husband has taken that security away from you in the 2 places (your home and your marriage) you are supposed to feel the safest???
I also have to echo what some of the other women have said, chances are that this isn't just a kinky "my wife is so hot" type of thing. This is a very disturbing behavior that more than likely goes deeper.
I think your DH is a pervert, and I would be absolutely furious.
I would highly suggest that you get him into counselling, it doesn't sound normal at all. Get yourself some counselling too, if you are having trouble coming to terms with everything.
When he is in jail and she's kicked this POS to the curb and annulled the marriage, let the PTB in the pen get him counseling.
Are you serious? Are you alluding to the OP staying with him while he works this out????
And this goes far far beyond risque. What he did was wrong, sick and highly illegal.
Looks like you're another one like the rest in this thread: just another dumb broad.
Seriously - this post wins for the absolutely most horrendous, idiotic responses, ever. I can't imagine how one goes through life without a brain.
OP - your DH is a complete jack-ass and so are all of his friends who have been laughing it up looking at you naked. Forget the rest of the internet. This is beyond creepy and disgusting.
You stay with him and you are an idiot.
Ditto a million times over. There is no "bright side" to this. It's a complete and total violation of you that in no way is made better by it being you and not some other chick(s).
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Total dealbreaker. Keep that phone tightly in your grasp... and call the police.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Keep us updated?
THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS.
I'm sorry, I think some of the responses here are seriously cracked. Taking erotic pictures of your spouse without their knowledge is NOT NORMAL and not okay. It's not much better than pics of someone else. Spousal rape is still rape... and spousal voyeurism is still voyeurism.
II also would not confront him alone -- who knows how he'd react? I'd have the police there when I did it.
Oh, yes, of course. Respect isn't one of the cornerstones of marriage! Everyone is different! What was I thinking!?
Have fun with that. My marriage and relationship is all about trust, but I mean, that's just me.
I am really sorry. You need to keep his phone tightly in your grasp. I know I can view my bill online along with everybody else on my plans bill. I would check online and see who all he sent sms messages to. Also, I would send the pics and videos to my phone just in case they "disappear" that would be something I would want to keep for my own records. Don't be surprised if he doesn't put a lock on his phone after you confront him. Taking the evidence before you bring it up to him is your best bet for securing the evidence. He will probably delete it or continue to collect it but secretly. He sounds pretty twisted. Something like that just doesn't stop after you call him out. Y'all need to seek therapy. Also, see where the view on the videos are coming from and take pictures of the camera once you find them. Don't take them down until you have evidence that they were there to begin with. Once you have secured your evidence, I would talk to him. Don't be nice though... he needs to know you are upset.
mental illness are real medical conditions, with actual symptoms diagnosed by licensed professionals. It's not a random insult to throw around on a message board. Based on what OP has shared (up to the point of Tarpon's post- I haven't read the whole thread yet) there is nothing to indicate he has a mental illness. You might as well say he has diabetes or heart disease or gingivitis. we do not nearly enough about his health to diagnose any major illnesses. We do know the guy's an ***, though.
No. You're a dipshiit.
You and your husband both have implied consent. Barring an absolute no, there is always implied consent in a marriage. Does you really not trust him at all? This is a marriage. He LIKES looking at you.You need to be a grown up."Hey hon? I was going on your phone and saw some videos of me. I'd be more comfortable if you asked me first."But seriously? Men need something hot to look at. He thinks you're hot. Would she rather it be porn? Another person?
You have GOT to be fvcking kidding me. You cannot honestly believe what you are saying, can you? How do you say no to something that you don't know about?
And to call her a dipshit? You are absolutely unbelievable.
OP, don't listen to this idiot.
Do you think this is how a normal, well adjusted person presents? I think not.
A plain ole garden variety *** would not do something like this.
And here we go again...gingivitis, heart disease or diabetes? Give me a break! A great deal more different than somebody who violates his wife and his marriage --- this is NOT normal behavior.
Ugh you make me sick! I do NOT have "implied consent" with my husband just because he's my husband. He doesn't get a free pass to do whatever the heck he feels like just because he's my husband! How is someone supposed to say no to something that they don't know is going on? Also have you not been reading this post at all?! What he did is ILLEGAL! She has every right to be horrorfied that this has happened!
No, you're right. She's not nearly as much of a dipshit as you or the people who suggested she CALL THE POLICE.
I absolutely believe what I'm saying. This is her HUSBAND. Not a date. Not a boyfriend. A man she loves and trusts. Not a psycho.
He's thinking about this how he would. If he found a pic of his wang on her phone, he'd be delighted. He probably has no idea this is even a problem. So she needs to be a big girl and USE HER WORDS and tell him it bothers her.
End of story. Done and done.
I am so sick of people acting like adolescents to fuucking everything. Be a grown up. Talk to people yourself. And this isn't even "people." This is her husband.
Frankly, she's violating HIS trust far more by crying to a bunch of biddies on an internet forum about something private in their lives.
My DH has worked with sex offenders for the past 14 years. His immediate reaction was that your DH needs to get a psycho-sexual evaluation immediately. While we have nowhere near enough info to actually make a diagnosis of mental illness or sexual disorder, his behavior certainly warrants getting behavioral intervention. And to the PP, there is no such thing as "implied consent" - you either consent or you don't. Period. By not expressly giving permission for these photos, she is withholding consent.
I also agree with the PP who suggested having someone with you when you confront DH - a witness would make me feel much more comfortable about my safety. And while I wouldn't be one to tell you to leave him immediately, I really do hope you get the help you need. There are some remarkable programs out there for sex offenders and sexual deviants, and in all likelihood, you'll need some therapy as well.
No more baby siggie pics. Boo.
Please tell me my sarcasm radar is broken and this is not real advice.
OP please grab the phone and take it down to the police station to speak with a detective. Don't confront him, don't let him know you know anything - you can do that through the plexi glass in a day or 2. I wouldn't go through his computers or anything, let the police do that. They will be much more efficent and will need all the evidence they can get. I'm willing to bet after seeing what is on the phone and hearing your story they will have a warrent for his arrest as well as all the necessary search warrents for his home and work computers ect.
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. Please don't for one second think that just because you are his wife means that his actions are ok.
Your husband only has a hammer. Therefore, everything looks like a nail.
Bwhahaha! You are the biggest idiot yet of this board. There is no implied consent here! Do you need a hand getting your head out of your butt?
Invasion of the Body Snatchers is real and this post is proof.
Actually, he has a pretty extensive tool box, which is why he suggested an eval - to determine which tool is needed. One way or another, OP's husband needs help - whether it's for a sexual problem, a communication issue or a self confidence/esteem problem. A psycho-sexual eval would identify what is causing him to illegally take photos of his wife, and figure out which tools can be utilized to help.
No more baby siggie pics. Boo.
You're probably going to need to provide us your husband's credentials. And if they're clinical, him saying this from a third party internet story probably isn't appropriate.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm actually going to give you some serious advice, and here are your options:
A.) You can call the police. This will result in the end of your marriage. Is this what you want? Is he otherwise a good husband and father? If so, this isn't the option for you.
B.) Either tell him he needs a psych eval (???!?!) or have a screaming match where you say awful things and accuse him of being a pervert. This is probably a 50/50 chance at losing your marriage.
C.) Approach him calmly, like a rational adult, and tell him you found some videos that made you uncomfortable. Tell him you'd rather he didn't do that in the future because it upset you. That will you will both get what you want AND save your marriage.
You don't have to be okay with him taping you. You do have to be an adult and an equal partner in this relationship with a man who you love and is the father of your child, and tell him what you're feeling. He can't divine them out of thin air.
I think you may be having a comprehension problem - because it IS a third party story, that is why he is saying an evaluation would be the most beneficial. NOTHING can be determined from the info we have here, other then inappropriate behaviors are occurring. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that what OP's husband is doing is wrong, illegal in many states, and has potential to escalate into something much, much more dangerous.
No more baby siggie pics. Boo.
You have GOT to be a troll. Nobody is this stupid in real life.
What part of ILLEGAL FELONY OFFENSE do you not understand? It does not matter whether or not she is married to him. What he did was illegal...and for that, if she decided to call the police (though that is not necessarily what I personally would do) she is well within her right.
And what makes it even more sick is that he knew about her painful past with a pornography addicted spouse. How incredibly selfish and exploitative of her to take those pictures anyway.
And FYI, being a husband does not bar any man from sick and sadistic behavior. Husbands rape and kill their wives daily, but according to your sick and twisted logic, a woman should just ignore any glaring red flags because it is her husband throwing them up...
You have either got to be bored, or one sick woman.