Austin Babies

To tickle or not to tickle...

Re: To tickle or not to tickle...

  • We tickle around this house! ;-)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't necessarily disagree with the article, but I do think it's being a little bit harsh.

    Will loves to be tickled. Even at 1, he'll grab our hands and put them on his ribs to get us to tickle him. But, for example, we (the adults) usually initiate tickles before bathtime on his changing table and they definitely are not a violation of his body and it's not us dominating him at all. 

    I think they can get out of hand, and the adult needs to realize that they're stronger and more powerful and end the game way before it crosses a line, but in general I thought the article was blowing it out of proportion. I loosely follow AP principles, but I thought this article was a little extreme.

  • Loading the player...
  • Haven't read the article yet, but my mom hates to be tickled and always called it torturing when I was little. I loved it, so I would ask her to "torture me" when I wanted to be tickled. That was fun for her in public. 
  • I had a humiliating experience as a child with tickling.  I hate it.  Honestly, as an adult it makes me panic and I end up very very angry.  I am in the 'no tickle camp'.

  • imageMrsRosie:
    I guess my agreement with the article is biased by how much I loathe being tickled myself.  DH learned pretty quickly not to tickle me.  It's like a switch turns on in my head and I get pissed.off.   

    me too. 

  • Ooops, I am the tickler in our family.  My DH is SUPER ticklish and I am always tickling him because, he can't get me back (I'm not ticklish at all)!  He also doesn't like it when I tickle L.  DS loves to be tickled though (or at least I have always thought he did)!
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I mostly agree with the article, but make sure you read down to the "empowering" tickling part.  We do tickling a lot at our house but it's definitly along the lines of the empowering stuff.  DD almost always asks for more, even when she was just signing she'd ask for more.  And we ask to tickle or just gage her reaction to "I'm going tickle you" (i.e. if she says no or turns her body away we don't do it).  We also do a lot of tickle Daddy, tickle Mommy, which she thinks is hilarious. With DS and when DD was little we just do a short little tickle followed smiling, talking, long breaks to see if DS is still into it or is just smiling / laughing to the tickling.  In our house it's a way to re-connect that we all enjoy.  But like I said we do short, light tickling and we let our children lead it, so it's not controlling.
  • Tegan stops breathing when I tickle her, so I don't do it as of now, lol!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageshanwalk2:

    imageMrsRosie:
    I guess my agreement with the article is biased by how much I loathe being tickled myself.  DH learned pretty quickly not to tickle me.  It's like a switch turns on in my head and I get pissed.off.   

    me too. 

    If you read the bottom of the article it says the author was "mercilessly tickled by her older brother." I wonder if that has something to do with her strong feelings against it? 

    Being tickled in my family was always a fun game and stop/no meant stop/no. My parents always respected that, even though they were the ones who initiated it. DH and I tickle each other and Will as a game and I think it's fun...but we always respect the boundary that no means no. With Will at least, we can tell when he's had enough.

  • I hate it too. I think it is fun for some kids and not for others so you have to know your kid and know when to stop. Part of my hatred comes from being tickled by older cousins, etc. who didn't stop when it wasn't fun anymore.
    Kimberly, DH Monte, Angel baby 10/06, Angel twin 7/07, Rhett Kaden, our IVF miracle, born 3/23/08, Mason Robert & Wyatt David, our FET miracles, born 8/2/09 at 36 weeks, 3 days
    image
    image
    Our Blog

    image
  • imageMrsRosie:
    I hate to be tickled.  Hate it.  I always scold DH when he tickles A.  He says it's no big deal.  I am most definitely not an AP parent, but I totally agree with this article.

    totally agree. I hate feeling so out of control and I don't want my child to feel the same way.

  • imageMrsRosie:
    I hate to be tickled.  Hate it.  I always scold DH when he tickles A.  He says it's no big deal.  I am most definitely not an AP parent, but I totally agree with this article.

    I with you on this! I absolutely hate being tickled. I think the article is a bit harsh though, but I agree that there should be definite ground rules with tickling - especially in the no means no area.

  • I think the article is taking the whole thing way too far.  Do I think if your kid hates to be tickled you should leave them alone? Yes.  Do I think if you tickle your kid they're automatically just going to let anyone touch them anytime anywhere and 'succumb' as they put it? No.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • The article is not taking it too far if you feel about tickling the way that I (and apparently otheres here) do.

    I HATE being tickled. It makes me instantly turn into a scared, crying mess. I'm upset just reading that article.

    Seriously, I could start crying now. I HATE being tickled. My dad tickled all three of us, but my brother and sister don't have a problem with it. I guess I just couldn't "hang." I am afraid of being tickled as much as I'm afraid of some much scarier sounding things in life.

    DH tickled me one time, and after the response he got, he sure as sh!t has never done it again.

  • imageSaraLouiseBride08:

    The article is not taking it too far if you feel about tickling the way that I (and apparently otheres here) do.

    I HATE being tickled. It makes me instantly turn into a scared, crying mess. I'm upset just reading that article.

    Seriously, I could start crying now. I HATE being tickled. My dad tickled all three of us, but my brother and sister don't have a problem with it. I guess I just couldn't "hang." I am afraid of being tickled as much as I'm afraid of some much scarier sounding things in life.

    DH tickled me one time, and after the response he got, he sure as sh!t has never done it again.

    I'm not saying you're not entitled to your hatred of tickling. You are.  I think if a kid doesn't like it, you don't do it, which is what I said in my previous post. I just think there are overgeneralizations not related to the personal hating of tickling in that article.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • imagekatattack:
    imageSaraLouiseBride08:

    The article is not taking it too far if you feel about tickling the way that I (and apparently otheres here) do.

    I HATE being tickled. It makes me instantly turn into a scared, crying mess. I'm upset just reading that article.

    Seriously, I could start crying now. I HATE being tickled. My dad tickled all three of us, but my brother and sister don't have a problem with it. I guess I just couldn't "hang." I am afraid of being tickled as much as I'm afraid of some much scarier sounding things in life.

    DH tickled me one time, and after the response he got, he sure as sh!t has never done it again.

    I'm not saying you're not entitled to your hatred of tickling. You are.  I think if a kid doesn't like it, you don't do it, which is what I said in my previous post. I just think there are overgeneralizations not related to the personal hating of tickling in that article.

    I cannot deny that my opinion is pretty biased Wink

  • imageSaraLouiseBride08:
    imagekatattack:
    imageSaraLouiseBride08:

    The article is not taking it too far if you feel about tickling the way that I (and apparently otheres here) do.

    I HATE being tickled. It makes me instantly turn into a scared, crying mess. I'm upset just reading that article.

    Seriously, I could start crying now. I HATE being tickled. My dad tickled all three of us, but my brother and sister don't have a problem with it. I guess I just couldn't "hang." I am afraid of being tickled as much as I'm afraid of some much scarier sounding things in life.

    DH tickled me one time, and after the response he got, he sure as sh!t has never done it again.

    I'm not saying you're not entitled to your hatred of tickling. You are.  I think if a kid doesn't like it, you don't do it, which is what I said in my previous post. I just think there are overgeneralizations not related to the personal hating of tickling in that article.

    I cannot deny that my opinion is pretty biased Wink

    No worries, that's fine too. :)  Besides, I'm sure my brother and my cousin have an utter hatred for swirlies (if you've heard of that) from my uncles picking on them when they were younger.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • That "typical" tickle game she describes in the article sounds downright creepy.  That is not the typical game in our house.  W asks us to tickle him all the time and we'd never tickle him if he didn't want it. Tickling is fun! We all laugh and it's always a bonding thing.  

  • imagekimbiebride:

    That "typical" tickle game she describes in the article sounds downright creepy.  That is not the typical game in our house.  W asks us to tickle him all the time and we'd never tickle him if he didn't want it. Tickling is fun! We all laugh and it's always a bonding thing.  

    Ditto!  

    What she is describing in the article is not any tickle game I have ever witnessed between a parent and child.  Maybe an older brother to their little sister or something.  I agree tickling against someone's will should not be done, but I think that article was way over the top.

  • imageA&Jmom:
    imagekimbiebride:

    That "typical" tickle game she describes in the article sounds downright creepy.  That is not the typical game in our house.  W asks us to tickle him all the time and we'd never tickle him if he didn't want it. Tickling is fun! We all laugh and it's always a bonding thing.  

    Ditto!  

    What she is describing in the article is not any tickle game I have ever witnessed between a parent and child.  Maybe an older brother to their little sister or something.  I agree tickling against someone's will should not be done, but I think that article was way over the top.

    see, I'm not so sure.  I know when I was being tickled I couldn't even say "no".  I couldn't get a word out at all, because I was laughing - but inside I was angry.  Really, honestly, angry.  Nobody knew (because I was giggling) how uncomfortable and upset it made me.  People giggle when they're uncomfortable too.  I also still to this day laugh when I'm really pissed off.  Not until I got much, much older and had enough confidence to assert myself over my (older) relatives, parents, etc (which p.s. was not easy for a shy, non confrentational child) did anyone know how freaked out it truly made me. 

    It really gave/still gives me a sense of total loss of control and, in my expereinces that article is right on.  Again, for me - the tickling game is a power control thing, that sends me into anxiety.  Like pp said - DH did it once, and I laughed.  Once it was over I freaked out, cried, and yelled.  We don't tickle anymore.

    I think it's pretty easy to say "(s)he likes it", when honestly - the giggling is a natural response.  The feelings that are created from it are not always as happy. 

    Everyones opinions are directly related to their past experiences - and that's mine.  I was a child that could not have told an adult "I hate that... it makes me feel a loss of control..." because it would have been impossible for me to articulate to an adult until I was much, much, much older (like 15 years).  Also, I think it's hard for children to fully comprehend those kind of emotions. 

    The whole topic gives me anxiety.  I can see where some people think the article is overblown... but I'm on board with the whole thing. 

  • I'm in the "the article is a little harsh" camp, but I can totally see how someone who really hates to be tickled can agree with article 100%.  I don't mind being tickled, it's always been a fun game in my family when I was growing up, but when we said "no/stop" then the tickling stopped. 

    We do tickle DS and I do think he really loves it.  The main reasons I'm convinced he loves it are 1) he IMMEDIATELY signs "more! more" when we stop (and always has), and also he loves to try to tickle us, he'll come up to us with fingers wiggling, saying "ticka-ticka-ticka" (or it could be that he's really just trying to exert control over us...  Huh? )

     I'll admit, I scoffed a couple times while reading the beginning of the article, but was glad to see the suggested alternatives at the end, and that we already practice many of those.

  • EMTXEMTX member

    imageThisGirlInAustin:
    Haven't read the article yet, but my mom hates to be tickled and always called it torturing when I was little. I loved it, so I would ask her to "torture me" when I wanted to be tickled. That was fun for her in public. 

    So funny!


    image
    In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Actually, as I was reading this article, I was thinking it was probably good advice for people who maybe would tickle kids in a way that was not cool, but didn't realize what they were doing.  Some adults or older kids don't realize it only takes a second or two of tickling to make a kid laugh.  There's really no need to take it as far as the article describes.  That's just plain bullying a kid, that's not playful at all.   

    I too had some pretty jerky cousins who thought it would be fun to make me, the "little kid", pee in her pants from too much tickling.   I know DH experienced the same thing from his bullying, older sisters.  Maybe that's why we make sure we're extra gentle with W?  (That, and the fact that it doesn't take much for him to get super wound up and rowdy, ha ha.)  


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"