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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Judgey Mc Judge
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Re: Judgey Mc Judge
this x100000!! I feel so bad for those kids. I'm always embaressed for the parents. They are the ones that look stupid. If your child acts up in public, take them home and discipline them. I don't want to see you do it.
I agree.
POOP! I COMMAND YOU AS YOUR PARENT!
Now, since we're all gettin' crazy and this post was way more popular than I ever anticipated.
What do you hate that other parents do?
Here's mine:
- unwiped runny noses-- I am referring to ALL day, crusted boogers. I have had a sick baby, I know some snot is inevitable.
- letting your kids watch tv during dinner, especially while screaming "shut up- i cant hear spongebob!!"
- ridiculous threats, i.e. "If you dont get in the car, we will NEVER leave the house again!" - While I do judge this, and often laugh. I've been there. I'm a teacher, I've said things like, "Kids, if you don't listen during science, we will never have another experiment." You say what comes to your head, I get it- still funny as hell.
- allowing snacks, candy and junk food when your child won't eat a normal dinner
- dragging kids by arms. legs, hair. Or better yet, with leashes. MIL used a leash for her kids. You can totally see the ones that need it and E may be one of them. Little whirling dervishes. I get that. I just always think it looks funny. Especially on the kid sitting next to his parents all docile like.
And to the PP about grabbing your kids arm- I'm referring more to walmart, 3am, grabbing your kid by the elbow and dragging them down the aisle while they meander around covered in cheese dust and dirt because they made you mad when they started yawning and reminding you to go home because they have school tomorrow.
- when a child is behaving TERRIBLY, saying "if you are good the rest of the night, I'll get you this ____- are you going to be good??" and then purchasing said item. With no proof of better behavior to come.
So, let's hear it- what are you parenting pet peeves? Put on your McJudge hat and let 'em rip.Actually my list comes from my parents and what they've taught me about raising kids. My dad has his doctorate degree in early childhood education and my mom her master's in the same. He is a counselor and she has been a kindergarten teacher for 30+ years, and also the Teacher of the Year for the state of Florida.
While it's all fine and dandy to believe that all parents do what they have to do, that just isn't true. Statistically speaking, most parents are not great parents and have no idea what the best thing to do is. They're just guessing, and even the best are often doing the wrong things because they just don't know any better. We don't get any training at being moms, we're basically just "thrown to the wolves."
Having 2 kids (or 10) doesn't make you an expert. Getting a degree, doing a thesis, a lifetime of doctorate level research, and teaching hundreds of kids...those things make you experts on how to teach children. Just because you have had a toddler and you gave in to them doing certain things that you didn't initially plan to do, that doesn't mean you did the "right" thing. In fact, since we DON'T have any training in this, best chances are that you DIDN'T do the right thing.
So in other words, I'll take the parenting advice from the experts, and not from the people who have 3 kids. If I fail at doing the "right" things to do, I'll know it's because I wasn't a good enough parent or that I had to modify the right things for my kids. I'm not just going to go against the right things because my kid is worse behaved than I thought.
well, aren't you speshul?
frankly, the "experts" don't know any more than anyone else. You do what works for you, eh? Leave my family to me.
I'm sorry, all I got from your post was "my parents have degrees so I know everything about raising children and most of you who have already dealt with your own toddlers made the wrong decisions, blah, blah, blah." And then I stopped paying attention altogether because...
OMG your child was falling out of a swing and you took the time to get a camera instead of making sure she was safe!
Yes, because all experts agree about everything all children are cookie cutter and need exactly the same things at the same time. Riiiiiight.
And how soon after you took that pic did your kid fall off that chair? hmmm?
LOL...I just about peed my pants from the force of my giggles.
Lordamighty - I had no idea that I had to get a doctorate in early childhood education to be a good mom.
Sweetheart - I GUARANTEE you I know more about raising kids than you do. At least two years' worth more. That is how it works.
This!
It gets me when 1st time mom are making statements on something they have never done!
Get back to me when you know what its like to have you hands full & your pulling your hair out so you don't flip out on them.
-I do CIO & am Dam* proud of if, I do not change my kids diapers a night, I do not change my son every time he pukes, I have used my TV to entertain my kids while I try & get things done (30min of TV will not kill them). Oh & Never say Never!
I have a degree in early childhood education, and knew nothing until I had a child. Your post screams ignorance.
Yeah I stopped reading at "Actually my list comes from my parents and what they've taught me about raising kids. My dad has his doctorate degree in early childhood education and my mom her master's in the same"
I'm not claiming that my parents are the end all be all of experts. But in general, when it comes to how to parent my kids, I'm going to look to experts who have done research and studied thousands of parents and whose parenting ideas are actually based on studies, not get advice from moms who had a toddler so they must know what they're talking about. I'll do actual research and then adjust it to what works for my kids. Other moms telling me what works or doesn't work for them isn't going to change what I see as important lessons or ways of teaching my kids on the basis that they know everything because they have toddlers.
The idea that people only know things once they get there irks me in general. For example, I knew that once I had a kid I would still travel around the country competing with my dogs, I would still love my dogs as if they were my children, I would not change one aspect of my care and love and involvement with them...and I haven't. Every mom I know told me "well you'll see when you have a kid how things change!" Guess what, I didn't. I knew what my values were before, and nothing has changed now. When things are important enough, you make them happen. Thank god I didn't listen to the moms who all told me that they all knew better because they had kids and I didn't, or I may not have the most important thing in my life.
Moms LOVE to tell pet owners that they don't "get it" because they have kids. Well I have a kid, and nothing has changed, I feel exactly the same way as I did before. A whole different vent, but same basis.
I didn't say anything before having a baby that I don't still believe now. I'm certain that I won't continue with that throughout her life, but I also know when I see parents doing certain things that I will NEVER do them. Just like some people know that they will never hit their kids, even when they are really bad. It's just not in their bag of things that might possibly happen. There are lots of things that I can say "never" to, and that I will take with me to the grave. I will never give up my dogs for any reason. I will never have my kid on a leash (although I'm 100% fine with them), I will never abuse my children or hit my husband, the list goes on. It doesn't really matter how bad my kids ever are, or how mad I am. So I'm ok with juding people who do things I'm not ok with, knowing that I will never do certain things, and also knowing that they will judge me for things I believe in too.
hmmmm, it appears by your own statements that those "studies" look at moms and what they do with their kids. So, um, the "advice" in those studies are from moms just like us.
well, now you're just embarrassing yourself.
honey, here's a free tip: stop while you're ahead.
Right. In other words, I'm not going to believe what 1 (or 15) people say on this board because of their experiences if it goes against numerous studies that have been done. Sort of along the same lines--just because most kids don't die of SIDS doesn't mean that I'm not going to ignore that it exists and do everything I can to prevent it.
Anyway, my overall point is, I'm going to follow the plan I believe in based on the research I've done and what works for me, and I think it's ok to judge other parents who don't hold the same beliefs you do--that's how you decide what your own vaules are. None of us have the exact same beliefs, we all do what works for us based on the values we have. And those things aren't necessarily going to change after we have toddlers.
haha well there's the pot!
LOL - then why are you here at all? If random moms' experience and advice is just for shiit and all.
Look, I agree with some of your last post. There are certain "I will nevers" in every mom's life that she can absolutely say with conviction. I will NEVER spank my children. I will NEVER give up my cats. These are absolutes for me as well.
You must admit that your post was full of academic high-horsiness, though. That is what people are reacting to. Your post judging the "count to three" method just made me laugh. Your dad can hold all the degrees and awards he wants....but if he hasn't told you that toddlers don't jump to and respond to every command at the drop of a hat (they are highly distractible little creatures, after all), then all of his credentials don't mean squat.
I really hope that you do report back in a year. It'll be fun for us.
New parents who judge other parents when they have yet to really experience what being a parent is really like. You might want to get a ladder becuase it's going to be a long fall off your high horse when you have a toddler/child/young adult/etc.
::claps in standing ovation::
If your parents are such experts, how did they raise you to make such dumb comments?
Just because somebody is an expert on a subject doesn't mean they know what is best for a situation. Experts from all spans of history recommended different methods of treatment for ailments. We've now come to discover many of those are dangerous or deadly. (Hello? Cocaine, morphine, asbestos, letting your baby sleep on his/her stomach)
For being the experts you say they are, your parents definitely had a problem raising an open-minded and understanding child. It's a widely known fact that experience trumps education.
Shiiiit, this took a wicked turn while I was gone. Meant to be silly, not hurtful. If you have done one or ten of the things on my silly list, you are not a bad parent. I've done a handful of them myself. Chillax, peeps.
Also, a degree can be helpful, but isn't an end all, be all. I have a degree in special education and having a child with special needs in my home would be TOTALLY different than preaching to the parents about what they should/should not be doing at home, KWIM?
Oh you're my favorite.
Just because I have a Masters in Elementary Ed but little teaching experience doesn't mean the person who has been teaching for 15 years with a Bachelors doesn't know shiit. I'd much rather take advice from an actual mother than someone who's just read about mothering or even has a degree in it!
Definitely want to know how you're doing once you fall off that horse you're on. Should happen around 9 months or so, maybe 10. Then again when you have a 3 yr old.
Ugh... 3 yr olds... do I really have to go through that again?
Yes, Tonya. Seriously making me reconsider having a third!
But then, what do I know.
Oh SeaStar... aren't you the same nestie who threw a hissy fit because her rich ILs bought a beach house that wasn't directly ON the beach, and it just ruined your whole fun family vacation? Why am I not surprised to see that you think your parents' degrees somehow make you a parenting expert?
You sound like a real peach.
On the topic as a whole, I personally think it's fine to have general principles that guide your parenting as long as you have a healthy dose of flexibility when it comes to preconceived notions of how you will and won't parent. An incredibly strong-willed child may require a different discipline approach than one who is more laid back or compliant. What works for your first child may not work for your second. What works for you right now with an infant may not work well for you with a toddler. Sometimes we set out planning to do things one way and end up feeling more comfortable with a totally different approach. It happens, and it's okay. If you think you know it all now, as the first-time parent of an infant, you're in for a rude awakening.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
I dislike:
This whole thing. I have a 9yr old and a 5 mos old and unless you have been there then DON'T JUDGE! You have no right too!! the junk food and screaming at then yes say you don't like it but give me a break. My daughter can't suck and swallow so her secreions run out all over and sometimes I can't wipe her face everytime it starts to dribble but do other people know she has issues??? No they JUDGE me like you all are doing. My son is ADHD and has been since he was fetus and there were times we were at the store and he would be acting out so do I leave with his food just so others don't judge or do I get the food and go and get judged? Its insane to say "I'll never" if you have never done it.
Honey, PLEASE pull your head out of your a$$ and your parent's! You are so ignorant and so stupid! So because I "got thrown to the wloves" I'm a bad parent?
BTW....your kid is falling out of the swing while expert mommy is taking pictures. What do the text books say about that?!?!