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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Do you have a "sensitive" child? Pls come in..
Hello ladies,
DS is 11 months and has always been a bit sensitive. I'm wondering from the more experienced Moms whether I can help him become more outgoing? Neither DH or I are very touchy, but it seems DS is.
We have lots of activities, playgroup, Gymbaroo, swim class. He will play independently for a little while. Then he's the child who looks overwhelmed in the middle of all the other babies and starts looking around for me. He will often start to cry pitifully and come back to me.
I always give him hugs and reassurance, and try to ignore crying from the little bumps/knocks from other kids. Just about anything will set him off though. I always say, "your ok!" in a happy tone, but he just seems WAY more sensitive than the other kids.
Any tips or thoughts??
TIA :-)
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Re: Do you have a "sensitive" child? Pls come in..
Coming from a very sensitive person with one very sensitive child, you can't "toughen" them up! Try to view your child's sensitivity as a gift. If he truly is a sensitive child, as he grows up he's going to have a connection with other people who are hurting or in need and he probably has a huge heart!
He may be a little introvert that gets worn out in larger groups of people. He may need to learn to "shake it off" when he gets hurt. And/or he may just be more sensitive to emotions and feelings.
Although my oldest son (and I) are super sensitive, we do try to "shake it off" when he gets hurt. I try to pay attention to what is truly hurting and just give him the love he needs then.
I turn 'shaking it off' into something silly. I wiggle my whole body and say "pbpbpbpbpbp" (okay that's really hard to type out... it's just a sound!) and he laughs and does the same thing.
There's a fine balance between shaking off the hurts and hugging the true emotional pains though...
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
As a highly sensitive person myself as well as a wife to a highly sensitive man and mother to two highly sensitive little girls, I can't recommend the book "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine N. Aron. Since you don't believe you or your husband are highly sensitive it would be a great read to help you get inside the mind of your child.(Could I say "highly sensitive child" anymore?)
I have other things to say, but I'm horrible at getting things to sound right when I'm typing them out and I have 3 kids who need breakfast so PM me if you have specific questions. My oldest is 4 so I have a bit of experience as they get older as well in helping sensitive kids deal with the world.
That was so well said MamaJan!
I've got a sensitive DS too. He really enjoys one-one play and small groups but isn't really into the "toddler party scene!" We need introverts and extroverts in the world!
Just embrace his personality and help give him the tools to feel comfortable.
We taught DS to say "excuse me" and "Come here". This helped in groups because he can tell the other kids what he wants and they respond.
ditto mama jan. its a blessing
aidan is very sensitive, but her sweet sensitive heart is what makes her - her.
she isn't really "shy", but more or so lives a life of "wait, why would that kid be so mean?", etc. it truly TRULY breaks her heart if a kid at a play area said something like "no, i dont want to play with you". her cry is different. its so sad
its not the same as if she falls down and needs to just shake off a physical hurt.
but i will say - she is the first kid to rub your arm/back if you feel sick. the first kid to say "you okay? i love you!" to anyone in need, and will come up and hold your hand just... because.
I was thinking something similar... I know if DS hits me and I tell him I'm sad and tell him "no hitting, hitting hurts mommy" - he'll usually just hit me again. Nice.
DD#1 has been shy since 6 mos of age. She is our only introvert out of our 4 children. She has always needed time to warm up to a situation, even with people she knows (but does not see on a daily basis). I agree that you can not "toughen" them up when it comes to this. Embrace it. It's their personality & you need to work with it rather than against it. Help them to do what they are comfortable with & don't push it or you will do more harm than good. They need to know that you are their safety net.
Now, at 6 1/2 years old, she is still definitely the most shy of our kids. Being in school has helped a lot, though, now that she has to face her fear daily. We have never forced her to do things, socially, that she is not comfortable with, but have been teaching her, within the last year, that there's a difference between being shy and being rude. There's sometimes a fine line & she is starting to realize the difference.
GL!!
Our Angel Boy- m/c in 2007 @ 9wks due to Trisomy 17