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Babies on the Brain
Amorlinda
member
WDBOTBT...
Amorlinda
member
about spoiling or not spoiling a newborn by holding them too much?
From the opinions of my family and friends, holding a baby too much will spoil him/her and you will spend your days holding them because they've become used to it.
But the more I read on it, the more I read that it's impossible to spoil a newborn. They need that physical contact to develop trust.
What are your feelings on this subject? What did/will you do with your LO?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WDBOTBT...
If I want to hold my baby I will hold my baby.
No one, giving their unsolicited advice, will say anything to change my mind.
:: thinks the same way as she sits on the recliner with Lucas sleeping on her chest::
This, with a clarification. There is moderation once they get older. I know a family where the oldest child was held constantly through infancy. Se slept, every night, on a chest. She still sleeps, everynight, with a parent. This child is a handful and has zero respect for anyone other than herself and expects the world on a silver platter. However, esp as a newborn, you can not spoil said child by holding them.
eta:This child is now 5 years old and still sleeps with their parent.He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Balls, you read my mind.
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
I don't think you can "spoil" them. My daughter was held a lot more when she was sleeping than my son was though as she was a lot more clingy than him but I'm really not sure if that had anything to do with it.
I made sure to put LO down when they were sleeping though because if I held then all the time when they were napping, they would freak out when I put them down and wanted to do something else.
Jake was held constantly the first few weeks. I held him when he took naps and he only slept somewhere other than my or DH's arms at night. We still hold him a lot, but he has gotten to the point where he likes to spend time not being held and lets us know.
I don't think it is possible to spoil a baby at this point. Once they are ready to not be held all the time they will let you know.
I agree with Balls. One of my good friends held her firstborn all day every day for months. He used his swing twice in his life. By the time he was 15 months old he was used to being held and she was 9 months pregnant with #2. This little guy had to be held constantly and she had to break that habit quickly before the newborn arrived. That meant not rocking him to sleep for 1 hour or more every night, etc.
With her second she used the swing and bouncer a lot more and he is so much more independent than his big brother.
I don't think you can spoil a newborn but I do think they will need to be held less if you hold them less once they get a bit older.
I certainly don't advocate neglecting them when they do need to be held, but as they grow use the swing and bouncer more each day and they will be less clingy as they get older.