Rssn

cia · April 2010

Having a hard time holding in my laughter while I pretend to work.

hellohappyJ · April 2010

rssnlvr:
L*L*CG:
Also, I'd like to point out that I went to elementary school with Rssn. I haven't seen her since she was 10. So, when I imagine her, I imagine a 10 year old. Butt-humping.
I think that's like illegal or something.
And let's be clear. GETTING butt-humped. I wouldn't want y'all all trying to hump your husband's butts tonight, saying, "relax baby, you're supposed to LIKE this!"

And just when I thought you couldn't make this post better...there you go!!

BLONDIE6FT · April 2010

i love it! i love it! i'm cracking up! i am bookmarking this...might have to try your techniques, rssn!

any other tricks up your sleeve??

**the wheel of fortune comment CRACKED me up Big Smile **

kiarox2002 · April 2010

::dies::

DH only gets 3 BJs a year. Christmas, Valentine's Day, and his birthday. We negotiated terms. He can earn another one if he gets me something that sparkles.

smatthe · April 2010

rssnlvr:

Alright ladies, take notes.

The 60-second BJ: I simply tell Rssn, "I'll give you 60-seconds of my best BJ action. It's up to you to take advantage of your window." He says, "No problem, I'll make it work." And he does. Win-win for both of us. Discovered one day when my parents were on their way over and he was feeling particularly randy.

The butt-hump: perhaps one of my all-time favorite "all the points for being physical with none of the work" moves. Apply generous lube to heinie. Let husband hump your crack. It's like a titty-f*ck, but it's with your butt instead. Discovered because my boobies used to be too small for an effective TF, but my butt has always been glorious. Added bonus is that he gets to pretend he's getting some butt action. He's a dirty boy like that.

I bow down to your methods, oh wise one.

I am not worthy of being in your presence!

.oO(Daggonit, why hadn't I thought of all that sooner?!!)

ndluvsrk · April 2010

Oh, one more question if you haven't left already..

No need for diagram drawing, but...

What exactly are you doing while DH has his fun? Snoozing, catching up on reading?

AmethystBride · April 2010

LMAO. This post is AWESOME.

smatthe · April 2010

ndluvsrk:

Oh, one more question if you haven't left already..

No need for diagram drawing, but...

What exactly are you doing while DH has his fun? Snoozing, catching up on reading?

That's true...what do I do with my hands while that is happening?

richardslove · April 2010

rssnlvr:

Alright ladies, take notes.

The 60-second BJ: I simply tell Rssn, "I'll give you 60-seconds of my best BJ action. It's up to you to take advantage of your window." He says, "No problem, I'll make it work." And he does. Win-win for both of us. Discovered one day when my parents were on their way over and he was feeling particularly randy.

The butt-hump: perhaps one of my all-time favorite "all the points for being physical with none of the work" moves. Apply generous lube to heinie. Let husband hump your crack. It's like a titty-f*ck, but it's with your butt instead. Discovered because my boobies used to be too small for an effective TF, but my butt has always been glorious. Added bonus is that he gets to pretend he's getting some butt action. He's a dirty boy like that.

I retract my "best.post.ever" statement from the post above "clicky poll from MC". THIS is the best.post.ever. DH will be thanking you later.

christym0606 · April 2010

hilarious thread! bravo!

texansarah · April 2010

This made my day. You all are too funny!

JenniferL923 · April 2010

i am so glad i visited the bump today. Yes

LonghornBabe · April 2010

As of today, I will officially read the bump EVERY day! I don't want to miss out on all the action!

HSartteach · April 2010

I figured out MC's spin-off post. I kept looking through the titles...glad I opened this post.

It is FRICKIN' HIL.AR.I.OUS!!!!!!!!

And I am glad I am not alone in not being into the bj...I will have to try the 60 seconds...but I sort of already do that. I'm with CJ...we have the opposite...it takes for-eva with the bj, but a minute with the other...what gives....

MrsJayOK · April 2010

Y'all have too much fun while I'm at work. I always miss the good days! Thanks for sharing the techniques rssnlvr!

Mainer-in-Texas · April 2010

balihaigirl:
i love this thread. i can't believe i almost didn't open it - i thought it was a page for rssn but knew there had to be something juicy in it when i saw 60 replies! haha!

Same here! Good times

joyco · April 2010

IDK about your husbands, but mine went to "Sting's Tantric Sex School of Making Sex Take Waaaaayyyyy Longer Than It Ever Needs To and That Includes BJs". The tuition was ridiculous, but my husband could now teach classes, if necessary.

I WISH it were the way NDK says it should be. WISH! However, that is not the case.

Le sigh.

ebat · April 2010

CollieJade:
L*L*CG:
Wait- some of your DH's last longer than 60 seconds with a bj?

If you are doing them in correct intervals (which means almost never at all) then it should never, ever take longer than 60 seconds. That's what I've taught DH and that's what I'm going with. He never gets them, so when he does, its lights out before he knows it. And, I can watch the remaining 29 minutes of Wheel Of Fortune in peace.
WHAT?!? How is this possible? The reverse is true in my world. Somehow, when DH gets a BJ he takes forevah, yet when it's time for a little bump and grind, he's a one minute man. I don't get it.

This!

and a Surprise for rssn and this whole post, wowsa

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