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Can I have advice re: friend in PTL?

berrysweetberrysweet
in Preemies

One of my best friends is in pre-term labor at 32-33 weeks. She's had several shots that have not stopped her contractions, and she's on a mag drip. Her fFN test came back positive. Assuming her contractions do stop, she will definitely be on bed rest until she delivers.

Here's the tricky part--her husband is in the military, and they were just relocated across the country about 2 weeks ago, so I can't just go visit (if that's what she wants). 

I want to make sure she feels supported and loved, but I also don't want to be intrusive with calling or texting too much. I told her yesterday that she can call me ANYTIME she needs to talk, and she did call in the middle of the night when she was up and couldn't sleep. I'm glad that I can be that support for her.

Beyond that, would you recommend calling or texting every so often to check in or let her know she's in our thoughts and prayers, or would you just let her call me and update as needed. Like I said, I love her to pieces and want to be a support for her if she needs it, but I also don't want to be in the way--because she has way more important things to be doing right now than updating me on how things are going!

Any advice? 

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Re: Can I have advice re: friend in PTL?

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    When I was in the hospital recovering from my c/s at 28 1/2 weeks my best friend texted me all the time and I loved it.  I could respond back when I wanted to and it was nice to have her support since she lives 6 hours away from me.  You could send her a care package if she does end up on bed rest.
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  • mek10976mek10976
    I really appreciated everyone checking in.  It kind of helped make the days go by faster.  I would either call or text her, but let her know that she can feel free to say she is too busy or to not call so often, without feelings being hurt.  For some people, it maybe too overwhelming to deal with preemie stuff and keeping everyone abreast of whats going on.
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  • mommamorrismommamorris

    we had a blog that pretty much informed everyone what was up day to day.. but dh was in charge of making all the phone calls. maybe her dh can let you know the tempo of things in her hospital stay. (ie. does she seem lonely, or bored all the time? is she stressed by phone calls/texts?)

    i enjoyed visits from friends, and phone calls too when i wasn't over medicated! :)  texting was much easier for me because in half of the rooms i was in (they moved me around a lot) i couldn't easily reach the phone. so, stupid logistical things like phone placement or medication could hinder a comfortable conversation.

    you're a great friend for supporting her like this, and caring about what would be best for her. i think just ending a text/email with "you don't have to write me back just wanted to let you know i'm thinking about you" would be enough to take some of the responsibility off her if she was having a busy day, or a stressful day. 

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  • kaida_narikokaida_nariko member

    imagemek10976:
    I really appreciated everyone checking in.  It kind of helped make the days go by faster.  I would either call or text her, but let her know that she can feel free to say she is too busy or to not call so often, without feelings being hurt.  For some people, it maybe too overwhelming to deal with preemie stuff and keeping everyone abreast of whats going on.

    This!

    (sorry, not that I've had a preemie, but I was BORN preemie, and it runs in our family. my mother has bad asthma, and shewent into PTL at 37wks, but parts of me were only developped to 34 weeks, while otheres were 36. I was born 4lb14oz and my legs and arms were TINY. I lost weight before I went home but then gained to 5 lbs and went home after a few weeks, but all my life till puberty I was in the 25th percentile instead of the 50th where I should have been. To all you mothers out there with preemies with the advances in medical knowledge, I'm sure things will work out.

    21 years ago I was born in distress underweight, premature, blue unable to breath right at first, and had almost no amniotic fluid while I was inside her, but Im ok if thats any help.) 

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