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Preemies
Best Help You Were Given
Hello,
I am usually on the 24 months board, but have a friend who has just been diagnosed with HELLP. She will deliver tomorrow at 34 weeks. What was the best things that someone did for you? What shouldn't I say/do?
Thanks
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Re: Best Help You Were Given
I wish someone could have helped take care of the everyday mundane crap you have to do around the house. We totally forgot that we had bills due!! Also, We were on house arrest when DS came home, so the occasional (healthy) visitor was so appreciated. I just wanted someone to talk to.
Really, any help you can offer would be appreciated. None of my friends that live close by had babies and they all checked in, but I didn't feel like anyone was really there to support us.
The best think people did for me was bring meals over. Between trying to get sleep and running to and from the hospital, meals were hard to get to. Being able to just pull something out of the fridge/freezer and eat was wonderful.
Another great thing was my family came over and did yard work for me. I had a c-section so I was unable to do much at all. I live in an HOA and got a notice for weeds in the front yard (even though I notified the property manager that I was in the hospital...jerk). Having that done was so awesome.
Having someone to help clean the house, do laundry, and other every-day things would also be appreciated.
A friend of mine dogsat for the first month Robbie was in the hospital. Another friend brought food. Lots and lots of food.
The thing I appreciated most was prayers.. and people who left messages or emails with a note not to feel like I needed to write back.
My Blog
Pre-made meals were always awesome. By the time we got home from the NICU it was late and we were too tired to cook. My parents and my ILs would always make extra food and send it over so all we had to do was pop it in the microwave. It most definitely kept us from eating fast food every night!
Restaurant gift cards are nice too. But we actually liked the home made stuff better. Sometimes, especially after a rough night, all we wanted to do was go home, not out in public.
Along with freezer meals- she would probably appreciate some boxes of granola bars/healthy snacks that she can keep in her diaper/to/from the hospital bag. We spent a small fortune on the vending machines/cafeteria during those long days at the hospital. Some trashy magazines/easy books would also be good. There were hours that I just sat next to his bed waiting until I could hold him again and it was nice to have something mindless to read.
If they have a dog- My in-laws took our dog for loong walks and trips to the dog park and then got him groomed for us before we brought little man home. We have a lab that goes crazy when he doesn't get exercise and it was really nice to know he was being cared for.
i've got some blog posts on those issues (you can find them in the link below "new to the nicu")...
the best thing anyone did for me was get me a little basket of goodies... there were some magazines for me (that i liked) for while i was pumping and feeling up to it- along with snacks... there was a book on preemies...a picture of us to put on the isolette.. and even a personalized sign that said something like- "wren/ her mommy, her daddy, and her Lord love her very much" and something about taking good care of her. i made my own about a week later that said just her name/bday etc. and had our contact information on it- seems like they forgot to call us or "lost" our number a few times... so we put it right on the isolette for them to easily find.
My mom and MIL deep cleaned my house and picked up some groceries for us before we came home from the hospital, which was a huge help. Also, while I was on hospital bedrest, and after DS arrived (I stayed at the hospital including overnights with him the whole time), my MIL took care of DH, making his lunches, doing his laundry, making him dinner since his days consisted of waking, working, spending the evening at the hospital then just going home to sleep. I think he really appreciated his mom there to help.
I would recommend putting a couple of frozen (either homemade or purchased) meals in her freezer or helping get the house ready for baby while she is in the hospital. Those were the 2 things I appreciated the most.