What is your first reaction when a mom abandons LO?

kimmie321 · April 2010

I was just watching Today and they were talking about the mom who they thought was kidnapped and she really ran away with her boyfriend. And, I have a guy friend whose wife just left hime and their LO and she evn signed over rights.

My gut first reaction is there must be something seriously wrong. How could anyone ever leave their LO? Leaving your spouse I get, but your child?

mh2t · April 2010

My gut reaction is slightly more violent than yours ... but generally the same sentiment. I don't understand it at all.

veryargylegirl · April 2010

I think there must be something severely wrong with that person. She must be mentally ill or in a really terrible situation.

ceramsey · April 2010

I certainly don't understand it at all, but after talking with a friend who was less than devastated after she mc'd and promptly posted on FB the next time she was KU'd (literally after she tested), it occurred to me that people handle things differently.

One reason I think, though, is that some women don't have the support they need and just can't handle it. I would never leave my children, but when we were trying to figure out what was bothering Patrick (it ended up reflux) he was so miserable and he's not an easy baby to begin with. I was home alone and all the crying...luckily MH was able to come home early on those days or go in late to work. My mother stayed with me sometimes...Some women don't have that support and I can see how it could get very overwhelming very fast. Yes, there are groups and places to go for help but who knows why they don't access those resources. And if you think about it, it's better than the alternative of physically hurting their child. Emotionally it may not work out, but at least the child is still safe.

I eat when I'm stressed, others exercise. I certainly don't choose the healthy option. Certainly not condoning it and I would never do it, but to each their own.

MrsPatterson · April 2010

Usually my gut reactions to things like that are pretty judgmental - the mom is selfish. But the reality is more likely that the mom probably suffers some sort of addiction or mental disability that is not being treated.

Although I did read a story in a magazine once about some moms who just "didn't think motherhood was for them" and signed over all rights to their SO's. The article made me want to puke. Most of those women had like 3 or 4 kids! If motherhood isn't for you, you should stop after two at the most. So these women never had contact with their kids (twice per year tops) and were just living their own lives doing whatever they wanted. Now those women I'd have a few choice words for.

ceramsey · April 2010

MrsPatterson:
Although I did read a story in a magazine once about some moms who just "didn't think motherhood was for them" and signed over all rights to their SO's. The article made me want to puke. Most of those women had like 3 or 4 kids! If motherhood isn't for you, you should stop after two at the most. So these women never had contact with their kids (twice per year tops) and were just living their own lives doing whatever they wanted. Now those women I'd have a few choice words for.

When it comes to leaving multiple children, they need to be stopped. There is a woman whose child is in my cousin's class and she has 6 kids-only 1 actually lives with her. The rest have either been taken by DCYF or she has signed over rights to her SO's. If it's not right for you, stop. Sadly, the children are the ones paying for her selfishness.

ibis · April 2010

I may be a big softie but if it's a baby, my first reaction is always to wonder if they had untreated PPD.

After that... I think a lot of people don't really want kids, they just have them out of carelessness or whatever.

JessAndi · April 2010

First reaction: throat punch.

Second reaction: There must be something going on in her life that she wanted to run away and start something new. Probably a mental illness or maybe that boyfriend of hers brainwashed her. Who knows. It just makes me so sad for children with moms who don't want them. I know I hug my LO extra tight knowing there are people like that out there.

mikkimikey · April 2010

My first reaction is "I'll take the baby". For serious.

My second is "how could anyone dream of doing that?!"

tiffanylaw06 · April 2010

My first reaction is sadness for the baby and for the mom. Unfortunately not everyone can parent or chooses to parent and I feel terrible for the baby who lost the mom. It's such a sad situation.

MelissaAB5579 · April 2010

I can't understand it, and it breaks my heart.

jen10282006 · April 2010

This story is straight from my town. I can't tell you the drama around here over this, and all of the people who have volunteered to search for her. I just cant fathom how someone can "start a new life" without notifying the people in your old life!!

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