How did you deal..? (a little long but need some advice!)

GoombaGirl_79 · April 2010

Hi all! I'm a mom of a rather active little 8 month old son. He's started crawling this month and we've baby proofed our place as best as we can. It's a very open-plan apartment and there are still a few areas that he can get to that aren't baby-friendly. The biggest obstacle I'm having right now is DH and I are having differing views on how to deal with it when he goes to these places. He's started going to a glass display case we have and standing up at it to bash the heck out of the glass. Wouldn't be bothered except I don't think the glass is very strong, it bends like crazy when he does it. Needless to say this is a "no baby" zone. Can't really baby-gate it off or anything and no room in our place to move it out of baby-zone.

Anyway, I'm trying the "distraction" method, where I will pick him up just before he gets to the display case and relocate him either to a toy or something he *can* bash like our windows (he likes to look outside to see whats' going on and will smack the glass). I try not to say "no" too much but will say "this is not for you" or "dangerous" or "ouch". Of course this means I do this like 10x a day at least! He usually b-lines right back to the thing he's not supposed to touch.
DH wants to try putting him in his crib for a "time out" but I don't think he's old enough to really put that together yet. He's a really smart little guy but I know he's not bashing the display case to be bad, he just likes the reaction he gets out of his parents! He looks right at us and smiles when he does it like "ok what're you gonna do now??" Im not looking for a "you are right" situation here, just any advice you parents might have on what worked for you with an 8 month old?? Its so hard because you get all sorts of info and as new parents you have to find out what works for your child...but then sometimes what works is something that everyone else scolds you for doing!

EliseB0323 · April 2010

Um, I would MOVE THE BENDY GLASS THING OUT OF THE CHILD'S REACH. That's just an accident waiting to happen. Your child isn't old enough to understand the consequences of the thing crashing down on him.

mamarazzi · April 2010

I would actually wait until he gets to the case and starts banging on it before you redirect him. He may not be associating the that he shouldn't touch it if he's not actually touching it before he gets moved.

IMO, 8 months is too early for a child to understand time-out. I think you just have to keep redirecting him and hoping he'll get it. Or, remove the case for the time being so the temptation isn't even there.

I would also try to keep him from banging on glass in general. If he does it on the windows and likes the sound it makes and it's okay, then he's going to be tempted to do it on similar surfaces.

GoombaGirl_79 · April 2010

mamarazzi:
I would actually wait until he gets to the case and starts banging on it before you redirect him. He may not be associating the that he shouldn't touch it if he's not actually touching it before he gets moved.

IMO, 8 months is too early for a child to understand time-out. I think you just have to keep redirecting him and hoping he'll get it. Or, remove the case for the time being so the temptation isn't even there.

I would also try to keep him from banging on glass in general. If he does it on the windows and likes the sound it makes and it's okay, then he's going to be tempted to do it on similar surfaces.

He usually does get a few bangs in when I get there heh. Yeah I don't think he gets the time out either and I want him to enjoy his crib for sleeping not as a punishment place. Sad I was letting him bang on other glass because of some advice to put him somewhere he is allowed to do the thing he's doing. Blaw. So many different views out there!

We might be able to move the display cases to one place then would have to get baby-gates to bar it off. DH wouldnt' like this plan much but... gotta do what we gotta do sometimes.

GoombaGirl_79 · April 2010

Got a good suggestion from 6-12 months actually..putting something like full laundry baskets or other safe obstacles in front/around the display case.

JOEBunny · April 2010

My DD is like this with the fireplace. I distract him with a new toy and tell him no. He now crawls over, looks at me and shakes his head no-no and moves on. It takes some time, but they do learn. Time out in his crib will not work at this age and may make him hate his crib.

femmegem · April 2010

Isn't there ANYTHING you could put in front of that piece of furniture? They do sell gates that you can sort of circle, so maybe something like that? Pile up some boxes there? It won't look great, but it will help keep him safe.

LOL at timeouts for an 8 month old. Definitely not developmentally appropriate.

ETA: I just saw your response. I would definitely put obstacles in his way so he can't get over there.

DaiLyght · April 2010

I would try not to let him bang on the windows. Like a PP said, my first reaction was that he's not really old enough to distinguish the difference and if he shouldn't bang on one glass thing, he shouldn't be banging on the other. Not to mention, potentially the window could break if he hit it just right.

I would not to timeout in the crib for several reasons. He's too young right now to understand a timeout. Even when he's older, his bed souldn't be used as a timeout spot. He should enjoy being in his crib, it's a place of comfort and quiet, not punishment.

I'm somewhat in the minority here, but I don't think you should pile up laundry or boxes in front of it. Gating it off, or even moving it is fine, but i think having piles of things in front of it might only encourage him to start trying to climb them.

Wait to redirect him until he starts hitting it, or even touching it first. He needs to know what he's not supposed to be doing. A simple "no no", and then physically moving him and redirecting to another toy or activity is the best IMO. You'll have to do it over and over and over again, but that's being a toddler is all about! As he gets older, and as long as you're consistant about it, when he moves near it, you can just say "no no" and he should move away or stop. And if he doesn't, then redirect.

AggieCouple · April 2010

I think one should remove all glass furniture or items around young kids, especially those learning to walk/crawl.

hopefulmom · April 2010

I was going to suggest putting some things in front of it (ottoman, laundry basket, toy box). Make sure you have some interesting things in front of the "obstacles" that will grab his attention. It won't be that long before you can remove those things and he will understand when you tell him don't touch. I don't think it is a good idea for him to bang on any glass (including your windows). Is it possible (if he has to bang at all) to do so on the window sill?

GreenEggs&Ham · April 2010

8 months is way too young for a timeout and when he does he does get older, timeout definetely should not be in his crib.

rebbieW · April 2010

The distraction method is for things you don't want touched and appropriate for your little one's age. But once safety is an issue (being cut by broken glass!), it is your responsibility to protect your child and get that thing the heck out of there.

I'm one that would argue against time-outs in general but even if you like them, they're not effective until the child is well beyond babyhood.

It might be a good idea for your DH to read some baby development books - I would suggest the one about the first year for fathers - I think the author is Armin Brot.

jlw2505 · April 2010

Try not giving him the reaction that you he is looking for. Have you tried putting something in front of the case so he can't get to it since you can't move the case itself? It might not look great for a while but that sounds like like safest bet - move the couch or the dining room chairs to block his path. I would also not let him bang on any glass. At this age, he has no clue that windo glass is safe and the cabinet glass is not safe. As you said, time outs at this age don't mean a thing. You both need to be consistant with whatever method you decide on and you will need to repeat the same thing a million times more before it all sinks in. If he keeps getting a huge reaction out of you, he will keep doing it.

GoombaGirl_79 · April 2010

Thanks for all the advice folks.
I am working on figuring out a way of moving the display cases somewhere out of reach. We already spent a fair chunk on new furniture that is "baby safe" and getting rid of the old, so I would really rather move/block these cases off rather then get rid of them. Storage is really a premium for us and getting rid of the cases would also mean getting rid of the things inside. For now I put chairs in front, he can't get to them through the chairs.
I agree with the crib/time out thing. I am not a fan. DH thinks that it will teach him "if i bang on this, I get something I do not like", because he does not like being left in his crib alone when not tired. I don't want him to hate his crib either because I'm working on getting him to fall asleep without my help and it involves putting him in his crib when he's sleepy. It's our first parenting difference of opinion and I don't want to be always telling him something he believes will work is wrong. But with this one I'm pretty set on it. When I move DS away from the cases (or the fireplace which I can't move!) I dont react in a big exciting way. I just say "thats not for you" and move him to a toy or take him into his room with me and we play together on the floor or i set him up with some of his toys there.

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How did you deal..? (a little long but need some advice!)

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