Tell me not to go rock him

Bride2bMO · April 2010

We are on day 1 of serious nap training. My son hasn't napped in 5 days, but CLEARLY needs it. The second half of the day is a nightmare when he doesn't nap.

He is used to being rocked to sleep for naps, but that has stopped working. We've decided that we are probably missing his tired window, so the goal for the next 14 days is to feed lunch early, and go straight from the high chair up to the nursery to wind down, do nap routine, and then leave him alone for at least an hour. I've promised my husband I would really try.

So, the hour mark is up. Nowhere near sleeping. He hasn't been crying the whole time (lots of playing quietly, too), but he is crying now.

I should just take him out and move on with the day, right? No matter how awful it is? Going up to try to rock him now is moving in the wrong direction, right?

moroccojade · April 2010

I wouldn't let him cry.

If he really needs the nap, I think I'd rock him if he would actually go to sleep. If he still wasn't going down after 15 minutes or so, I'd give up and shoot for an early bedtime.

princess4u81 · April 2010

I still rock my toddler, but she goes to sleep. Will he fall asleep in the car or stroller? I say do whatever works

neverblushed · April 2010

Ugh. This is a tough situation to be in.

I would not rock him if you're trying to get away from rocking. After an hour I'd call it quits and figure he's at least had some quiet time, even if he didn't sleep. Quiet play without other people/tv/toys is always better than nothing.

Is there some different way you can get him to sleep other than rocking? Can you switch to a different soothing activity that's easier to scale back little by little? Like having him lay in bed and you pat his back and sing him a lullabye or something?

How verbal is he? Can you talk to him about your expectations that he close his eyes, think happy thoughts, and take a nap?

jen5-03 · April 2010

I wouldn't let him cry either. Either end it or rock. I don't think rocking is bad.

I used to go lay down with DD and we'd nap together while I was pg. It was so nice.

And now she doesn't nap at all, and some evenings are rough. But she still stays in her room for 1.5-2hrs for "naptime" and I honestly think that even if she's not sleeping that staying in bed and resting does help our evenings go smoother.

Bride2bMO · April 2010

Unfortunately he is not verbal (we start speech therapy soon), so it's hard to reason with him. The naps have been a problem ever since I weaned about 3 months ago. He always used to nurse down, and ever since, I've rocked but been unable to lay him down. Even if he's out cold, he'd wake and never get back to sleep. So with the baby coming I know I can't keep doing that. I've tried co-napping in a bed, but he won't settle down and sleep, thinks it's playtime. And I've read & tried Ferber and long ago learned that progressive waiting only upsets him more than straight extinction. Ugh, I feel so bad for him, because I think I've really stood in the way of self-soothing even though I always had good intentions.

thanks for listening, sorry no paragraphs, on iPhone now playing with him on the floor.

tayray1 · April 2010

What time are you trying to put him down for a nap? Maybe you are trying too early...Sam gets up at about 7:30 am, and goes down for a nap between 12:30-1pm. I've noticed that when I put him down earlier, (12:30ish) he sleeps better. The time stamp on your first post was 12:10, and you said he had already been laying down for an hour, so does that mean you put him down at 11am? Maybe that is just too early and he's not quite tired..

Other than that, my best advice is to give him one hour of quiet time, and then go get him. Continuing to rock will further inhibit him from developing his self-soothing tactics. GL!

Bride2bMO · April 2010

tayray1:
What time are you trying to put him down for a nap? Maybe you are trying too early...Sam gets up at about 7:30 am, and goes down for a nap between 12:30-1pm. I've noticed that when I put him down earlier, (12:30ish) he sleeps better. The time stamp on your first post was 12:10, and you said he had already been laying down for an hour, so does that mean you put him down at 11am? Maybe that is just too early and he's not quite tired..
Other than that, my best advice is to give him one hour of quiet time, and then go get him. Continuing to rock will further inhibit him from developing his self-soothing tactics. GL!

Sorry, we've had a long afternoon! I'm in the central timezone, so it was 1:10. We usually aim for 1 - 1:30 for naps, and it's been going downhill for a long time, so we figure we are missing his window of opportunity and are now aiming for 12 - 12:30 (starting today).

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

tayray1 · April 2010

Well it's day one, so I say stick with it for a few weeks..GL!

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