23 month old to lapsit on plane? (kind of long)

kmc217 · April 2010

Is this a horrible idea? Let me preface by saying the whole trip we are planning is a horrible idea so go ahead and be honest here. We are flying to TN for a week "on the lake" ie:in a remote fishing cabin with about 10-12people/in laws (but no other kids) who like to sit around doing nothing all day but drinking beer and "lounging" which is a) NMS and b) not real conducive to keeping a 2 year old happy and c) makes me nervous/not trusting of said inlaws to keep a close eye on DD so I can relax. The trip itself is going to be expensive-- tickets are almost $400 each and since I will be 7 1/2 months pregnant, we have to get trip insurance too, then a rental car which is another $200, so paying for another plane ticket will hurt BUT... DD is very active and we will only have DHs lap since I'll be so PG. Is it crazy to not buy her a seat? I realize it's crazy to take the trip in general and I'm totally dreading it... I don't like my MIL at all and she is totally not involved in our/DDs life until something comes up that she insists we all do about once a year, at her convenience, of course.

Brit1017 · April 2010

I would probably buy the extra seat. We flew to Disney when DS was 16 months, and it was really a struggle to keep him contained- he wanted out. We really wished that we had just sucked it up and bought him an extra seat to that we could strap him in.

AgrippaRidesAgain · April 2010

How long is the flight?

We flew to AZ in December when DS was 20 months old and there was no way that we could have done it without him being strapped into his carseat on the plane. However, that was a 5.5 hour flight. At this age, we may be able to deal with him for an hour or two on our laps, but it would be a really rough time and that would be with BOTH of us. He has never liked sitting on our laps anyway, so he'd be back and forth every 5 seconds.

shopgirl78 · April 2010

I had my 23 mo old in lap (and I was 17 wks pg) the last time we flew (August) . It was only a 2 hour flight. DS did so well in my lap I was afraid to buy him a seat (and we usually end up with one any way. He has changed a lot so I don't think I could do it now.

Mrs.Hizzo · April 2010

OMG, can't you beg your OB to come up with a reason why you can't possibly go on this trip? It sounds nightmarish. But if you have to go, I think you're going to need to buy your daughter a seat.

amazingkel · April 2010

It is just easier to have another seat...then he can move around if he wants...go from your H's lap to his seat, to putting toys on the seat and playing, to having room to put his head on your DH's lap and sprawl out if he wants to sleep.

kmc217 · April 2010

Mrs.Hizzo:
OMG, can't you beg your OB to come up with a reason why you can't possibly go on this trip? It sounds nightmarish. But if you have to go, I think you're going to need to buy your daughter a seat.

My OB will definitely give me an excuse, the problem is MIL will not accept not seeing DD and DH bends over backwards to please her and doesn't know just how much I can't stand her. And over my dead body is she leaving me for 5 days, let alone to be with MIL who will let her stay up all night, does not believe it naps and feeds her whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. Oh, and drinks beer all day and would do so while my DD was playing by the water thinking that if she has a life vest on, "she's fine." It's a lose/lose situation.

livinitup · April 2010

My DD only really wanted to sit on my or my DH's lap when we flew at that age.

That said, I wouldn't go on the trip. I know it seems impossible to say no when these expectations get set. And I know it seems crazy that you feel like you can't simply say no. But I get it. I completely get that her inconvienent plan seems set in stone.

Frankly, I would quietly not make the reservations and either tellher now or wait and make an excuse later. I've struggled and have gotten better about not taking trips based on someone else's expectations. I don't go and no one drops dead.

And I'd use the money you would have spent on this crap-tastic trip and get a doula or a high quality babysitter and REALLY relax.

Mrs.Hizzo · April 2010

kmc217:
Mrs.Hizzo:
OMG, can't you beg your OB to come up with a reason why you can't possibly go on this trip? It sounds nightmarish. But if you have to go, I think you're going to need to buy your daughter a seat.

My OB will definitely give me an excuse, the problem is MIL will not accept not seeing DD and DH bends over backwards to please her and doesn't know just how much I can't stand her. And over my dead body is she leaving me for 5 days, let alone to be with MIL who will let her stay up all night, does not believe it naps and feeds her whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. Oh, and drinks beer all day and would do so while my DD was playing by the water thinking that if she has a life vest on, "she's fine." It's a lose/lose situation.

Horrible. I didn't realize that if you said you couldn't go, he would take your DD anyway. I wouldn't be OK with that, either, under those circumstances.

Pesky · April 2010

I think it depends on a lot of factors. How long the flight is, the type of entertainment she has, the time of the flight, etc. For example, if it is only a 2 hr flight and your flight leaves around the start of her naptime, odds are good she'll sleep for a good half the flight. And type of entertainment - a portable DVD player can really help. Honestly, I would consider springing for the extra seat so your DD is more comfortable, especially during the napping.

W&J'sMommy · April 2010

We flew to FL with DD as a lap child the week before her 2nd b-day. It wasn't the best time but we survived. The flight was around 3 hours, I think any longer and I'd have wished we'd have gotten her a seat.

triplea1819 · April 2010

The ONLY reason we flew DS at 23.5 months was because he was still a lap child!! we were going from NH-DE just for a weekend, Fri-Sun. And it would be a LONG drive for just 3 days. Luckily we could still fly him as a lap child and not pay for a ticket.

Rink08 · April 2010

I would buy the extra seat because I know at 23 mo my DS would not have been willing to sit on my lap (or DH's) for an entire plane ride. If they have their own seat, they will have more room to be able to color, look at pictures, play with toys etc. Unless it would put a burden on you financially, I suggest buying the extra seat.

zoe_cat · April 2010

Ack, I'm sorry you're in this situation! That sounds terrible, I would so not want to go at all. But...if I had to go, I would definitely buy DD her own seat. I think it depends how squirmy your kid is. My DD is super squirmy and we would bot go nuts with her on my lap.

moroccojade · April 2010

The flight we took at 17 months wasn't much fun. She was squirmy. On the way home we had a whole row of 5 seats for the 3 of us and she still wasn't all that great.

But at 23 months? She was a saint. She didn't need her own seat at all. I can't believe how good she was.

However... this trip does not sound fun at all. I'd do everything I could to get out of it. ugh.

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23 month old to lapsit on plane? (kind of long)

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