How to fake a multiples pregnancy

pea-kay · April 2010

I think we all learned a lot from the latest drama (and the others we've seen in the past). Mostly, we learned how NOT to fake a multiples pregnancy.

Here's how to properly fake a multiples pregnancy.

1. Make yourself ill without eating anything. If you're going to be "pregnant with twins", you should have morning sickness. Now go on, vomit.

2. Keep yourself up at night worrying. Worry about money, childcare, and how this is going to affect your (imaginary) first child.

3. Come post on here about 12 weeks after you begin steps 1 and 2. It's more dramatic to find out about your twins at the big 20 week ultrasound, IMO.

4. Make them identical, of course.

5. Oh yes, they have to be twins. The triplet (and more) community is too small and tight-knit for you to slip through unnoticed. And of course you don't want to be unnoticed, what would be the point of faking it?

Correllary: If you do decide to be pregnant with triplets, either a) "lose" one late in the game or b) kill them off in a house fire after they're born.

6. When you "borrow" your ultrasound pictures, for god's sake, don't take them off the first page of the Google Image/Photobucket/Flickr search page for "twins ultrasound."

7. Don't use watermarked pictures. (Duhhhh!)

8. Keep your story straight. Write down your "pregnancy" timeline and research, research, research.

What else, ladies? What do you recommend to our Future Fakers?

LMK8605 · April 2010

I have no further recommendations.. just wanted to agree with above!

SoldiersGreenBean · April 2010

To elaborate on 8, research means understanding all of the possible risks and their outcomes. If you lose a fake baby, make sure you know what the docs will do (ie put you in the hospital). Understand what the different levels of bedrest are, and do your research about pre-e.

MagPie08 · April 2010

LOL! hilarious.

Not a rule, but a mere suggestion:

Why not pick the hottest pregnant woman you can find possibly find on the internet to be your alter-ego. For example, pictures of Giselle pregnant. Then casually mention that you drink lots of water and are really diligent about pre-natal yoga. It will make all other MoMs jealous and feel inadequate, and instantly shoot you to the high ranks on the "cool" scale.

caden · April 2010

Stealing maternity pics from some random internet person is creepy and amateur. To be a professional faker you should shove various size pillows up your shirt and post those.

jacobandcrystal · April 2010

Just what the crazies need... a guide written by MoMs called "How To Really Fool MoMs". Now we'll never figure them out!

Hehe. But, well done : )

kaiteedidit · April 2010

Post in moderation. The more attention you draw to yourself the more likely you are to be found out.

ChicagoKari · April 2010

MagPie08:

LOL! hilarious.

Not a rule, but a mere suggestion:

Why not pick the hottest pregnant woman you can find possibly find on the internet to be your alter-ego. For example, pictures of Giselle pregnant. Then casually mention that you drink lots of water and are really diligent about pre-natal yoga. It will make all other MoMs jealous and feel inadequate, and instantly shoot you to the high ranks on the "cool" scale.

bwa ha ha ha

Nice add, MagPie!

pea-kay · April 2010

jacobandcrystal:
Just what the crazies need... a guide written by MoMs called "How To Really Fool MoMs". Now we'll never figure them out!

Hehe. But, well done : )

Don't worry. If they're fakers, they're not bright enough to actually follow my rules.

sandrarodz · April 2010

wait I'm lost... who if faking a multiples pregnancy?? I wanna know ! lol Or does this happen a lot? I had no idea...

Breenie29 · April 2010

Very good - I think you covered all the bases!

Now we wait.....

Haven1 · April 2010

My addition:

AW yourself at least once a week about the top-of-the-line piece of baby equipment you recently purchased. Only the best for "your twins!"

MagPie08 · April 2010

Also, during the course of your pregnancy, it is mandatory that you create one post entitled "weight gain." Doesn't matter if you're concerned you're gaining too much, or not enough. But act concerned and ask people what they think. It's a real legitimizer.

efhoping2010 · April 2010

9. Make sure to post your induction or c-section date, but it must fall in line with the complications you have dreamed up to put you on bedrest such as pre-e, twin to twin transfusion, pre-term labor, anything allowing you to also piggyback off of the High Risk Pregnancy board too.

10. Bonus, have your imaginary twins early so you can join the Preemie board too and dream up all sorts of new complications and burdens.

lisa&andy · April 2010

sandrarodz:
wait I'm lost... who if faking a multiples pregnancy?? I wanna know ! lol Or does this happen a lot? I had no idea...

Lexi169(?) posted yesterday "her" maternity photos, they were stolen from another MoM and was called out on her lying. If you scroll down you will see the posts calling her out. It happened last year at the beginning of my pregnancy, maybe it happens more often, but those are the only ones that have been discovered.

gumiberg · April 2010

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sandrarodz · April 2010

lisa&andy:

sandrarodz:
wait I'm lost... who if faking a multiples pregnancy?? I wanna know ! lol Or does this happen a lot? I had no idea...

Lexi169(?) posted yesterday "her" maternity photos, they were stolen from another MoM and was called out on her lying. If you scroll down you will see the posts calling her out. It happened last year at the beginning of my pregnancy, maybe it happens more often, but those are the only ones that have been discovered.

OH MY... that is horrible

janjag · April 2010

MagPie08:

LOL! hilarious.

Not a rule, but a mere suggestion:

Why not pick the hottest pregnant woman you can find possibly find on the internet to be your alter-ego. For example, pictures of Giselle pregnant. Then casually mention that you drink lots of water and are really diligent about pre-natal yoga. It will make all other MoMs jealous and feel inadequate, and instantly shoot you to the high ranks on the "cool" scale.

love this!

Ruby_Tuesday · April 2010

9. Be sure to tell everyone how much Dr. Luke's book helped you and recommend it to everyone who finds out they are having multiples.

Great list, pea-kay!

macchiatto · April 2010

LOL
It would be interesting to know how many more fakers we have among us ... obviously we now know peakay and PianoPlayingSarah are fakers, since we learned last night that ID trips don't exist.

kimarino13 · April 2010

:::dead:::

especially after #4.

LoveTravel · April 2010

This is a funny post :P

gingergrl · April 2010

Start early looking for cute baby pics to steal and call your own. Label the real mom and dad "Aunt Pam and Uncle George"

Learn photoshop so you can make all your own fake family photos.

pea-kay · April 2010

gingergrl:
Start early looking for cute baby pics to steal and call your own. Label the real mom and dad "Aunt Pam and Uncle George"

Learn photoshop so you can make all your own fake family photos.

I think you mean "Uncle Sy" and...shoot, I forgot what my name was on that blog. Hee hee!

Leigh71 · April 2010

Also...don't post any "could this be twins?" or "is this beta high?" questions. Just go for it...and tell us you saw both beautiful heartbeats on that first sono. and I second the suggestion for not posting too frequently.

That's how I figured it out....all the "polls' she was posting. And the "loss" seemed a little sketchy....definitely research that a bit more. Wink

Oh....and maybe throw some constipation questions in there... Mix it up!

Trixie6717 · April 2010

I ? this thread.

Sad that it happens, but this totally cracked me up.

babya2010 · April 2010

kaiteedidit:
Post in moderation. The more attention you draw to yourself the more likely you are to be found out.

Oh, I agree with this one!

BandS2009 · April 2010

Wow thats crazy

MrsBee10 · April 2010

pea-kay:
gingergrl:

Start early looking for cute baby pics to steal and call your own. Label the real mom and dad "Aunt Pam and Uncle George"

Learn photoshop so you can make all your own fake family photos.

I think you mean "Uncle Sy" and...shoot, I forgot what my name was on that blog. Hee hee!

And dont forget to change the gender of the babies when you steal the pics. That really throws off the real MoM.

Abbe · April 2010

I'm so in shock that it actually happens, and that anyone would go through all the trouble to do this. What is wrong with people?

norika33 · April 2010

THanks pea-kay! I have two thoughts...

1. OMG that this happens, really faker? If you have this much time on your hands, could you please get a part-time job and donate your salary to me so I don't have to work so much?

2. Aside from the fakers, all your PIP are adorable!! I guess I missed all the updates, since they all look new to me! Cuteness can't be overshadowed by fakers...

ougrad1 · April 2010

Ruby_Tuesday:

9. Be sure to tell everyone how much Dr. Luke's book helped you and recommend it to everyone who finds out they are having multiples.

Great list, pea-kay!

But, then say you don't agree with her weight gain plan. You could NEVER EVER eat THAT much!