At today's ultrasound, we learned that we officially lost the remaining 2 of the triplets. It was expected, but still sad. And the singleton left... last week it was measuring 5 days behind which wasn't too bad. This week it is measuring 8 days behind. Not good. Heart rate was strong at 167, but it is only measuring 8w0d at 9w1d. The hematoma shrunk a little bit. But the biggest concern now is the fact that the baby slowed down in its development. I really don't know how much longer I can take this. It is agonizing. I started crying when the doctor told me he wanted me to come back in two weeks because it would be more definitive. (At least the crying made him let me come back next week). I feel like I am hanging on by a thread and I don't know how to keep going.
TTC with unexplained IF since 8/2007
6 losses, one beautiful perfect boy in our arms

Re: I don't know how much longer I can take this :(
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
IVF #1-4=BFN IVF #5=BFP! U/S on 5/3 revealed TWINS!
Oh, Kiki, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sorry for the loss of the trips. Even expecting it, it is sad news. I'm glad the singleton has a strong heartbeat, and will be praying it continues to grow and thrive. Try to take it one day at a time, as impossible as that sounds right now. ((HUGS))
My blog: Making Me Mom
I'm so sorry for your losses. You're one strong lady. I have no idea how you are able to hold up under all this. I hope your next ultrasound is much more positive. Hang in there, honey. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
5 REs + 3 surgical hysteroscopies for septum/lap + 3 failed IUIs
IVF w/ICSI/AH & acu = BFP!, unexplained spontaneous m/c @ 8w2d (our little girl),
FET w/acu = BFP!, B/G twins!, lost MP @19w, dx w/funneling cervix @20w,
twins nearly lost to IC @21w, saved by rescue cerclage, 17P & 16w of bedrest
Our twins born @36w4d via CS when A came foot first
Thankful for every day
I am so so sorry for all that you are going through. You have amazing strength and I hope that the strong heartbeat continues and the baby continues to grow.
Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.
TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!
James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!
Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!
C/P- at 6 weeks
5 IUI's= BFN
Dx: Endo stage 1 : evevated FSH (11.3)
IVF#1: 3dt 2 8 cell, grade 1 embyos :bfn
*(P)SAIFW*
~A lotus springs from mud~ Chinese proverb
I'm so sorry Kiki - this is just torture and so unfair. I hate it so much and wish there was something I could do to make this right. Sending you tons of ((HUGS))
I'm praying for you, DH and your little fighter. We're all pulling for you.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
I'm so, so, so sorry that you are going through this. it's too much for one person. I'm keeping both you and your LO in my thoughts and prayers. {{{hugehugs}}} we're all here for you as you go through this.
Kiki--I'm so, so sorry. This is all just horrible. Please know that I am keeping you, your DH and your LO in my thoughts.
I'm sorry for your losses as well.
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
I am so sorry that you are still on this rollercoaster. The unknown is the worst part I'm sure.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and that little one!
I am so sorry you are on this roller coaster ride. It's just not fair. I'm glad your dr is having you wait only one week. I keep hoping that you have a little fighter in there!!!!
Thank you IVF for our little miracles!!
Kiki I am so incredibly sorry that you are going through this. This so very unfair and I wish I had words that could cure the pain that you are going through. We are all here for you.
((hugs))