Infertility

Does anyone like their MIL?

It seems that many of us have challenging, for lack of a better word MILs.  I generally refer to mine as the JudithMonster. Wink 

Please tell me that one of you has a good, or at least not bad, relatioship with your MIL.  I have a great relationship with my FMIL, but she's more of a friend than the usual mother role.

 

TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

No more frosties

IVF #2. September 2014

PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

Not sure where to go from here.

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Re: Does anyone like their MIL?

  • I really like my MIL.  She is supportive and very interested in learning about IF and IVF.  She never says anything inappropriate.  I am very lucky.
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  • Mine is pretty quiet but she is really nice and loves me!
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  • ::raises hand::

    Me, I adore my MIL.  I always say that I hit the in-law jackpot.  Then again, I have issues with my own mother, so it's easy to top.  (ooh, that sounds meaner than I really meant it though).

    However, she does live 10 hours away.  So I don't have the constant involvement in everything.  But she's always been nothing but sweet, caring, and most of all supportive of me and DH.  My MIL and I have our very own special traditions - including shots on Christmas Eve (she hardly ever drinks except for our special time). 

    Yeah, I am def lucky in that regard.  Plus she always threatens DH to treat me good.  (not that he needs to be threatened but it's funny when the in-laws are always on your side!)

    Lovey and I married Oct 2005 He's 34; I'm 33
    TTC since October 2007 DX: MFI
    #1 & #2: Fall 2009 - 2 rounds of Clomid - BFN's
    #3: April 2010: IVF w/ ICSI - BFP but then....blighted ovum, D&C 5/26/10
    #4: 8/27/10 - FET = BFN :(
    #5: FET #2 - 10/28/10, 2 embryos... BFN
    #6: IVF w/ ICSI & AH ER 3/5/2011; 6-day trx 2 blasts 3/11 BFP!!! HB @ 6weeks but it was gone a few days later. D&C 4/8/11
    #7: IVF w/ ICSI & AH ER 8/29/11; 6 day trx 2 blasts, BFP!! (3 totsicles too) HB seen at 7 weeks, but was gone at 8.5 weeks. D&C 10/14/11 HEARTBROKEN!!
    #8 FET - 4/6/12, 1 embryo.....
    **** SAIFW ****
  • Mine thinks we have a good relationship. But we don't..at least not in my eyes. She's not a bad person but she is very judgemental, she thinks her son can do no wrong and she loves to stick her nose where it doesn't belong. She'll swear up and down to you that she keeps out of our business because her mother injected herself into her [my MIL's] first marriage and she claims that's the reason the marriage fell apart. But she lies.

    She loves us both unconditionally which is good. But she doesn't accept herself, she's married to a total jerk and she drinks way too much.

    Oh and she blames herself for my DH's first marriage not working out and now that my SIL is getting divorced, she blames herself for that, too, and is a total wreck.

    But she just found out that her nephew and his wife are having a baby so "someone is finally giving the baby a family to enjoy" so she's happy. And yes, she knows about our IF.

     

    TTC #1 since June 2008 *SAIFW*

    TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs

  • I have a pretty good relationship with my MIL...she drives me nuts sometimes but that's mostly because of her parenting style than anything else.  She's always been pretty good to me and I really enjoy getting to see her.
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  • I love my mother in law. BUT that being said, it was not always that way. We had such a war over her "only son" that his family and I had NOTHING to do with eachother for nearly 4 years when we were dating. It was REALLY REALLY hard to move past but now I love her and she is really a great mother.... my mother and I are not close and I dont really get her. My mom isnt the type that will help us out she is VERY wrapped up in her own life and doesnt inconvenience herself for anyone else and my mother in law would help me/us with anything. I really couldnt ask for a better MIL (now-a-days)!
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  • imageMoFree:

    It seems that many of us have challenging, for lack of a better word MILs.  I generally refer to mine as the JudithMonster. Wink 

    Please tell me that one of you has a good, or at least not bad, relatioship with your MIL.  I have a great relationship with my FMIL, but she's more of a friend than the usual mother role.

     

    LOL!!!!  

    However, I love my MIL she is very supportive and a very good friend!  It did not start that way, we had a rough start but it improved greatly!

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  • I call mine CrazyDiane because you just never know what mood she'll be in when we visit.

    Add: It's great to hear some of you have a MIL who just is so easy to get along.  I so envy you!

    image
    DX: Premature ovarian failure
    ::::SAIFW::::: People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. - Rebecca West
    WE'VE BEEN MATCHED WITH A SWEET LITTLE BOY!! -4/5/11
  • I am sorry to say it but my MIL and I do not get a long at all. I have all kinds of names I refer to her as. She is not nice she is very needy and she uses her son. We do not like each other and we have had words. She thinks I brain washed her son since he hates doing everything for her. Maybe he is drained and tired of it???? I can go on and on about her. Lets just say she was never married but engaged several times. She ran them all off and she has no friends. What kind of person has no friends?
    TTC #1 Since August 2004 Dx PCOS
    SAIFW
    6/10 C/P
    6/10 Failed independent adoption
    12/10 C/P
    4/11 Failed independent adoption BM had a m/c
    5/11 Femara and TI= BFN
    6/11 Femara and TI= BFN
    7/11 Break cycle
    8/11 Break cycle
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  • My MIL is very nice and very caring, she can get overbearing at times but that is just her personality, she is a care giver by nature.  Sometimes I have to remind myself of that because I am so independent, but she is well meaning and I know that what she does even if it bugs me comes from a good place.  She loves me to pieces and is always telling me how thankful she is to have me as a DIL.  How can I not love someone who loves me so much?

    I really have great ILs.

    TTC since 8/2004
    Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
    DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
    DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
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  • I really like my MIL. She's always there trying to be helpful. She is a little ditzy at times and you have to remind her of things constantly - but she really just trys to be supportive and stay out of our hair. She's great to talk to. She's a great friend to my mom and we all are just a very happy family as a whole. I seriously thank my lucky stars for getting lucky in the husband and IL category!
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  • I really, really like my MIL. I have known her for almost 17 years though, since dh and I started dating in high school!

    She is a former nurse, and so she understands IF and the processes and she is very interested in knowing how I/we are doing. She never prods for information though, but loves when you share with her.

    I have a fantastic relationship with my own mother, so it was really hard for me at first to "share" myself with my MIL, but now that dh and I have been married for almost 9 years, i couldn't imagine it any other way.

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  • I LOVE my MIL.

    I'm not at all close to my mom - we are just really different people that get on each others nerves within 5 min of being in the same room.

    I'm so glad I have the relationship I have with my MIL that I never had with my mom (sounds mean, but it's true)

    Me: PCOs DH: Perfect!
    4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
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    sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
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  • If you would've asked me this question years a go, my answer would've been different but all is good now. Smile Then again my DH was the only boy of 5 sisters. His mother always wanted her boy and didn't stop till she got him, so you can imagine the challenge I had with her. In the end she knows her role and I know mines. After getting it all in the air, we have a great relationship now.
  • I do really like my MIL. She is really kind and understanding. She can be a bit overbearing, but I don't have to deal with that much since she is in Barcelona so I'm lucky in that regard.
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  • I really like my in-laws.  I was with DH 7 years before we married, and I even lived with his parents for my first year of grad school.  Every family has their "isms" and issues...it's not always butterflies and rainbows with his family or mine. But we all get along and love each other.
    image 30 y/o with PCOS HSG normal, SA essentially normal (slightly low morph but good # and motility) 50 mg Clomid...zip; 100 mg Clomid...nada; 150 mg Clomid...zilch 1/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F, Ovidrel, and TI.....Beta 2/22...BFN 2/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F and Follistim (long story), Ovidrel..BFN 4/10 Injectable cycle (see above). BFP but early m/c 5w5d. 5/10 Break cycle due to BFC (Big Fat Cyst)...darn it all 6/10 Injectable cycle +IUI...BFN 7/10 Injectable cycle + IUI.....BFP!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have great in-laws. I have 2 sets....DH's mom and his stepdad are very....in your face. I love them dearly, and they are wonderful people...but we just can't handle staying with them for more than a day or two. His mom is the type who feels that she is right, and everyone should listen to her. I've stood up to her in the past - in a nice way - and things are still good with us. They always tell me how much better I am than DH's ex wife. lol

    DH's dad and stepmom are AWESOME. They are the ones who host all the family get togethers - birthdays and holidays. I feel very close to his stepmom. I'm very lucky to have all of them in my life....

    Marrisa 

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  • I really do like my MIL, she is a genuinely nice person and for the most part stays out of our business. She does drive me crazy in some ways though - she is SO high maintenence and a total ditz! She is also kind of a food pusher and constantly makes comments out my size which gets old. 
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  • I generally like my MIL.  My ILs live an hour and a half away, so we don't see them regularly.  I enjoy their company for the most part.  They are very giving and loving people.  They gave us a ton of money for our shared risk with no expectations. We are so grateful for that.

    That being said, sometimes my MIL drives me crazy.  She is somewhat of a know-it-all.  There is nothing that she doesn't know and it's obnoxious.  Other people say that about her, too, including my DH!  She tends to talk too much and not listen enough.  She can be judgmental sometimes.  Not necessarily of me but of others I've heard her speak of.  I think sometimes she treats my FIL like an old shoe and she sometimes hen pecks him.  But I try to remind myself that she means well and that she is generally a good MIL.   There are definitely worse MILs out there! 

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  • I big, puffy heart my MIL.

    She is amazing, and I consider her to be a second mother :) 

    image
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
  • Eh, it took us awhile to get to where we are now but we're okay.  She's not the first person I call with news about anything, that's for sure.  When I had my first M/C she told DH that I was lying about being pregnant because everyone she knows has to go to the hospital and have a D&C when they have one....That caused a little discord for awhile.

    We had a talk after our wedding and came to a little bit of an understanding, I was what DH wanted and she had to accept that, her problem had been our younger years (started dating when I was 18 and he was 23) when we fought a lot and she didn't want that for her son.

    She's still a little odd, in your face, but her intentions are good, so I jut sit back and let her do her thing.

     TTC #1 since June 2008
    M/C @ 6 weeks 12/31/2008, Ectopic @ 6 weeks on 4/23/2010
    Diagnosed Unexplained 11/2009-DH is fine-I don't get AF
    Cycle #22 - 1/27/11 - IUI #1 & Injections - BFP! - DS born 11/11/11 
    TTC#2 - 2/24/14 - IUI & Injections - BFP! - EDD 11/29/14
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  • I love my MIL..  she's in her late 70's..and she is always interested in IF & the IVF process.. sometimes more so than my own mom.. 
    IVF - 9/09 - BFN! :( IVF #2 - ER 3/16; ET 3/18 with one embryo Beta 3/30 -- BFN! :( IVF #3 - 5/10 - BFN! IVF #4 - 11/10 - BFP. m/c at 6weeks :( FET #1 - 2/11 - BFP. beta on 2/21 :) Thank you God! :) u/s on 3/7 showed TWINS! u/s on 3/11 TWO heartbeats! Couldn't be happier :)
  • I loooove mine, and am closer to her than I am to my own mother, who is not a very warm person.  I'm so thankful for MIL!
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  • I love my MIL!

    She is so great and not intrusive and just overall a nice person! 

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  • My MIL is constantly being inappropriate about our IF.  She stills thinks that we just AREN"T TRYING THE RIGHT POSITIONS!!!
  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    I LOVE my MIL.

    I'm not at all close to my mom - we are just really different people that get on each others nerves within 5 min of being in the same room.

    I'm so glad I have the relationship I have with my MIL that I never had with my mom (sounds mean, but it's true)

    This for me too! I love my MIL, and we often say I am the daughter she never had. We have similar interests and enjoy being together, and my ILs are both amazingly supportive of DH & me.

    We are adopting! Currently waiting for our domestic infant adoption match.

    My blog: Making Me Mom

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  • my MIL is BSC.  i don't hang around her unless i have to.
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  • Love mine! Really couldn't be better, which is part of how I got such a great husband!
    TTC since 2008 DX severe MFI due to chemo IVF w/ ICSI recommended Planning on IVM at McGill in Fall 2011
  • I do really love my MIL but I think that has to do with the fact that we are in NY and they are in FL. Stick out tongue

    We are pretty close. She is really religious and sometimes I am comforted by things she says so I really admire her faith. Sometimes she does dumb things like outing me to Dh's family regarding IVF (just this week after me keeping it a secret for 2 long years) but her and FIL are kind of old and I guess it's our fault for telling them. Otherwise, we get along well and she minds her own business. Also, my DH is so not a mama's boy. I would never have married a mama's boy!

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  • I have a great MIL!  She is a strong, smart, caring woman.  Now, my own mom...we've really struggled.
  • My MIL is 80 years old and lives on the other side of the country. She's a very nice woman and fortunately with the distance and age gap (and the fact that they already have 7 granddaughters) she and DH's dad pretty much leave us alone.
    Forty-something TTC since 12/2007 3 failed IVFs DE cycle #1: BFP then D&E at 12 weeks due to neural tube defect DE cycle #2: Chemical FET #1: BFN Lining issues, pursuing adoption
  • I not only work with my MIL but she and my FIL are best, best friends with my parents. It's pretty random. It's also increadibly amazing. We have more support from all of our parents than i could ever have hoped for. We are very lucky.
    Crohn's resulting in colectomy with J-Pouch surgery in 2000/2001.
    TTC since August 2008
    IVF#1: BFFN; IVF#2: BFN; FET with new RE: BFN
    IVF#3: ER 1/15; ET 1/20; Beta#1 1/29: 339!
    Twins girls born via c/s at 37w/3d!!
    "Let it go, this too shall pass."
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