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TTC after 35
Didn't work. :(
Hey, Girls.
Well, the RE's office just called. The IUI didn't work.
I'm very sad, but I will be ok.
The nurse was trying to present it as bad news, but with good news. She talked to the doctor before calling me and went over my response, and based on it, they would be willing to procede with IVF with my eggs, even though my FSH is high and I'm 40.
That would be encouraging, if my DH were willing to do IVF. But he is not. He thinks it's too much for me to go through physically, and for us to go through emotionally and financially, considering the odds. A lot of me agrees with him - and we did come to the conclusion together that we'd do one IUI and that's it.
But now my heart is hearting, and the nurse's words sounded like hope, and so not only am I beyond sad about the BFN, but I am doubting a decision that I really can't be doubting. GAH!
I am giving myself today to grieve, and then I am going to try really hard not to think about anything baby-related for a few days. So if you don't see me here for a bit after today, you'll know why. I feel like there are decisions for us to make. But not today.
Thanks to all of you for all the support you've given me. I'm sorry that so many of us have had painful experiences. But if we have to have them, at least we have each other for support.
Love,
Joyful
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Didn't work. :(
I'm so sorry you got bad news. I understand how crushing it is and hope that you are able to come to a decision you are comfortable with. DH and I always said we wouldn't do IVF but in the end we were afraid that if we didn't at least try we would always wonder if it would have worked.
I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. {{{{hugs}}}}
(((Hugs))), t&p headed in your direction......
As pp said, dh and I always said "no more", but here I am mid-IVF #3. Take some time to heal and clear your head and then maybe you and DH can decide where to go from here. We're always here as a sounding board.
Sorry you got bad news! The hubs and I won't be doing IVF either, for many reasons...some, are the same as yours.
Ditto pp by wishing you all the best in whatever route you decide to take.
Oh Joy. I am so so sorry. I was all excited that today would be your day.
I hope you can take some time to clear your head and give your heart alittle break, and then have some conversation with your husband about what might happen next.
You know where to find me...I am always thinking of you.
((((hugs))))
Oh, honey, I am so sorry! I know how a little hope can sometimes be confusing and even sad. Believe me, going through DE, I kept thinking, what if we had done more IVFs with my own eggs, somebody has to hit that 3% success rate, right? Even doing the third IVF, I had in the back of my mind that I would do another - I made one egg afterall! Sometimes I think, what if I had another in me?
This is all so unfair and confusing and far from clear cut. It's so hard to weigh the risks and pain against the chance of success with the options you have. Whatever you decide we are hear to listen and help you talk it through. I'll be thinking about you!
I am so sorry joyful! My heart is just breaking for you and DH. I agree with pp - take some time away. Go on an awesome vacation or even just a weekend away and focus on non-baby stuff. Open up the NON-virtual bar!
Once you're ready to think about next options, you know we'll all be here for you. You have to make the best decision for you, but I strongly encourage you to look into Natural IVF before you close the door on IVF entirely. It actually has pretty good success rates for older women with lower quality eggs; doesn't use all of the drugs and so is a lot easier on your body. It's kind of a cross between IVF and IUI.
IUI #1: December 2008 - BFN
IVF #1: Microdose Lupron - July 2009; only got 1 egg; BFN
IVF #2: Natural IVF - Sept 2009; BFP!; D&C Nov. 2009
IVF #3: Natural IVF - ER: Feb 4, 2010 - 1 "M2" egg retrieved; ET: Feb 9; Beta#1 (19dpo): 2567; Beta #2: 6933; BFP w/ singleton w/strong hrtbt! DS born October 2010
TTC#2
IVF #4: Natural IVF - ER: Nov. 20, 2011; ET: Nov. 25, 2011; BFP! Beta#1 (19dpo): 1918; Saw hrtbt on 12/28/11!
Wish I was in PA to give you big hugs!
I am so sorry to hear the news.
{{{many hugs to you}}}
I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel.
You know we aren't doing IVF either and believe me there is some peace in moving on. I know you are considering adoption too which might be a great option for you guys.
Joy, I am so sorry. I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better.
You sound like you are thinking very clearly - take a few days, relax, and do something nice for yourself. Try really hard to not think about anything TTC
I know coming to terms with doing IVF is very difficult. Maybe it isn't for you and your DH, but it does sound like you need to have more discussions about your next steps.
Im really sorry. My heart is really sad for you.
We are all here for you anytime you need support, a virtual hug, or to discuss options.
I'm so sorry Joy....my heart is breaking for you.
I hope that you can make some decisions and find some peace.
(((big hugs)))
I'm really sorry Joyful. Lots and lots of ((hugs)). Definitely give yourself a few days to recover. Once you are feeling a little better, you can talk with your H about your options and see how you feel. Just because you made a decision once doesn't mean that you can't change your minds. Hang in there Joyful.
Oh, hon...I am so sorry! I know you must be heartbroken. Take the time you need to be sad and take the break you need. Maybe with some time and healed hearts, you and DH can revisit your options. This unwelcome journey has a way of taking us in directions we never would have imagined or believed in. Who would have thought I'd be looking at beginning my first IVF cycle next week when just weeks ago it wasn't on the radar. At all.
Hugs to you...you know that you always have us for support.
xoxoxo
I'm sorry Joy. I'm heart broken for you. Take all the time you need to come to your next decision. Whatever it is it will be right for you and your DH. I'll miss your posts while you're away.
::hugs::
My Blog
You are so sweet. I'm praying that your last ditch effort brings good news for you guys. Big hugs to you.
Ugh......I'm so, so sorry this didn't work out for you and DH. I was really hoping this was going to be your time in the BFP spotlight. I know how you're feeling, and how disappointing and frustrating it is to be doing everything right and not see results. It is maddening sometimes when you have such little control, especially when you want something so bad.
I think your plan to lay low on the baby making stuff is good.......clear your mind and give yourself some time to weigh your options.
There is no doubt in my mind that there are great things awaiting you and DH, whichever road you decide to take!
(((HUGS)))