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2nd Trimester
girlintheworld
member
"You mean you're not even going to TRY?"
girlintheworld
member
I'm hearing this sentence more and more lately. No, I'm not breastfeeding. And no, I'm not going to try to breastfeed. While I realize that some women are very passionate about it and I respect their opinion completely, it is not for me. I don't see why the "try" question is necessary after I make it clear that my husband and I have discussed it and decided not to. The next time I get that line, I'm responding with the classic "why do you ask?" I doubt it'll work, but lately I'll do anything to change the damn subject.
Mini-vent over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "You mean you're not even going to TRY?"
breast-feeding, labor, birth options, baby names --- are ALL on my list of things I won't discuss with other people. Why is it anyone's business?
I don't know what it is about pregnancy, child birth and children that makes everyone thing they have the answer.
Initially I wasn't going to either. I just didn't see the point with having to rush back to work. I have changed my mind recently .... but I can see where that question would be annoying.
Kind of like my in-laws telling me that by the time you need pain medication during birth, it is over.
Apparently it is normal. With both of my girls, it was astounding how many strangers out right asked if I was breastfeeding. eta: this is when they were "outside" babies! I still get asked with Natalie.
IMO, this parenting decision is relatively minor compared to the millions of decisions we have to make throughout their lives!
I'm with you. I am going to try, but really don't think its anybody elses business to ask or comment.
On an unrelated note, I have to tell you that whenver I see one of your posts I always think you have my dog in your sig pic. My dog and your dog look so much alike. She is still a pupp in this picture but they really do look alot alike
Daisy is lab/german shepard/beagle mix. What breed is charlie?
People always think they know more than you and are smarter than you. As long as you've made an educated decision, I don't see why they should even question it. The only reason I can see anyone asking is because they assume you are an idiot and haven't made informed choices.
Those people suck, and are usually the idiots.
I agree it is strange for people to ask about what I plan on doing with my breasts....but it has happened more times than I can count since I got pregnant. I guess people are just nosey. I too find it disturbing...I usually just answer so they leave me alone.
People always ask about it. I am an attorney and was on a VERY crowded elevator at the courthouse right after I had my second son. This older man, a prosecutor, asked me how the baby was. Then he asked very loudly "And are you breastfeeding him? It is so good for him to get the breastmilk!"
It was so akward. And I am sorry, I don't want to discuss my breasts with you on this crowded elevator and in front of one of my clients. LOL
Everything dealing with your baby is a personal decision. What works for one person may not work for another. I find it rude that people are asking you to explain your decision.
I agree with the pp about responding that it's a personal decision, unless you want to hear a whole long story about why you should breastfeed (information, I'm sure, you already know since you weighed the pros and cons).
Your body, your decision. You don't have to justify or explain anything to anyone.
It's a very personal decision and whatever works for you, works for you.
Sorry you have to deal with this.
OK- what if TRY wasn't the word?... what if we accept that you don't want to nurse your baby for whatever reason- what's your excuse for not even letting your child's digestive tract and immune system have the colostrum which was designed to help it seal and develop since at birth it's not even finished- just because the baby is outside your body at that point- it's not "done" - your colostrum is a part of the biological development of that child's body.
Just wow. I wish you would at least consider giving your child their colostrum even if you don't consider it "trying to breastfeed" but if you just thought of it as the very last step of your gestation.
OMG. That was hilarious! I can imagine my [attorney] boss asking someone that in front of the workers' comp. commissioner at a hearing. LOL
That is terrible! How awkward...ugh, I can't imagine. I really can't understand why anyone thinks it's open for public discussion. On a pregnancy forum is one thing...in person with anyone but my husband, close girlfriends, or my OB is just not cool with me.
Forgot to quote! This is for red daisy....
Aww, your pup is adorable! Charlie is a rescue, so we're not entirely sure what he is. But, the vet said that he's certain that Charlie is part Belgian Shepherd. He's the sweetest dog in the world. I told my husband I want to clone him. Haha.
I just met a woman, and one of the first things she said to me was "are you getting an epidural?" Yeah, I didn't know how I was supposed to answer that either, but apparently topics like this a free game.
Right?! I know women have strong opinions about it, so they're curious. But hey, take my answer and run with it, judge me, whatever. No need for the "try" question...it's still no.
Ditto, along with was the baby planned or an accident...I don't understand how any of it is any of your business
09.13.08
09.03.10
So in Love...
While it is 100% rude to ask or even comment on, I find myself giving people a little side-eye who aren't even willing to try to BF.
I completely understand if you are medically unable, but being categorically against it seems like you are your LO a disservice.
Off to the beach
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bla bla bla. if you accept that ppl don't want to nurse their children for whatever reason, your comment should've stopped there.
OP, i'm with you... i have been asked so many times about nursing, but so far only family and friends. but it's still irritating, like it's any of their business what i choose to do with my boobs. however, i will say that i asked my friend, SIL and mom about their experiences, but that was more for my benefit than just to be nosy.
i think it's because we've gone through fads with bfing. in the 50s, more than half of babies were formula fed because people were so into technology and science... it signified intelligence and trust in "modern things." then in the 70s, people went back to earthy crunchy and bfing showed that you were natural and sensitive. it went down slightly again in the 80s, and now it's jumping up again.
https://www.breastfeeding-mom.com/history-of-breastfeeding.html
https://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=1577&page=30
https://jezebel.com/5129536/milky-way-the-long-strange-history-of-breastfeeding
i think it's a proxy question for "do you love your baby?" and it sucks because as a culture, we really don't value breastfeeding all that much (women have to cover up or bf in the bathroom in public places if they don't want nasty looks... our maternity leave policies suck...).
i don't know what you should say, but anyone who asks me is getting an earful, obviously.
While I respect your opinion, because it is just that, an OPINION, what women choose to do with their own bodies is completely up to them. Not you.
No one has to justify or explain their reasons for wanting or not wanting to do anything.
Get off your self-righteous soapbox and come on down to the real world. The weather's pretty nice here.
I am seriously over your opinion on just about anything. You obviously don't accept that women don't want to nurse or you wouldn't have said anything more than your first statement about accepting it.
It is not your baby, it is not your boob, it is not your life. Get over what she is planning on doing.
rofl.
I'd be a butt about it and respond with, "Because I don't f'ing want to! Why can't you just STFU"? But I get irritable when people ask me questions like this. Personally I want to BF. When people ask me if I'm going to BF I just want to respond with "Are you going to shut up"? Sigh... What's it matter to you what I do with my boobs. I don't think you're the one that's going to be sucking them in a few months so your opinion is not needed.
The question that irritates me the most though is the one about pumping. No. I don't want to pump unless I have to. I want to feed my baby with my boobies, not with a bottle. Well... until she is older and needs to learn how to hold a bottle that is.
The first few months it's going to be nothing but boobies. Haha
TREMENDOUS!
I will never understand why people think someone has to justify their reasoning for BF or not. Just as an example, some people need to get back on medications that are not BFing friendly, and shouldn't feel like they have to share their personal medical issues with anyone, just so they can get approval.
OP, next time someone asks you, just tell them no, and if they ask you why, tell them that's a really personal question and none of their business.
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My mom and sister both bottle fed and also think it is gross, but they aren't giving me a hard time about it. I don't get why people think it is any of their business what I do with my breasts.
People are so irritating. Its your body and your choice, end of story. I would just say a vauge "we'll see.." and change the subject.
FWIW I also had no intention of BF until I was in the third tri with my first DD and I suddunly had a change of heart and decided I would give it a shot, then eneded up doing for a year. Not telling you this to try to sway you one way or the other but just sharing my story! I am also a vegetarian- yay for us! Curious- will you raise your DC veg too?
My new response to that is, "I fail to see how that's any of your business." Then I walk away.
I'm far too old to deal with that crap and guess what? I've done this twice before with pretty good outcomes.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
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Nope, the baby will be fed a mix of veggie foods and a few meats here and there. DH is a carnivore, so we're meeting half way. My one rule is absolutely no veal...that one is for all of us and shockingly enough, DH agrees with me and won't eat it. :-) I want the baby to be able to eat a Happy Meal at a birthday party if he or she wants, but I'll serve veggie chicken nuggets, burgers, etc at home. When our child is old enough, I'll educate them on why I'm a veggie and let them make their own decision.
I think "why do you ask" will open a whole can of worms for you. Someone who is willing to say "youre even going to try" is probably willing to go on & on about why you SHOULD do it.
Id ignore them - flat out ignore them. If youve already made the decision then theres no point in engaging with them.