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DH doesn't get it.

PubStar09PubStar09 member
in Baby Showers

So my DH just can not wrap his head around baby showers.  He thinks it's weird that someone would throw us a party to give us stuff for our LO.

I said, well, what about the bridal shower we had? His answer to that was that we threw a wedding reception with free food and booze, so it was kind of an exchange thing.

"But honey, that's not why people gave us wedding gifts... just like the baby shower will be, people just want to do something nice for us and for LO."

He just doesn't understand why someone would throw us a party to give us things and not expect anything in return.

I can't come up with a way to better explain it to him... any suggestions?

ETA: He just said, "I just never thought of having a baby as a 'celebration of the family' kind of thing." Oye.

Batman likes to watch cartoons on the weekends. Whatever.
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"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
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Re: DH doesn't get it.

  • IrishsapphireIrishsapphire member

    I look at this being more of a celebration for you--that you are a mother to be and you are having a baby.  It is a way for family and friends to shower you with gifts and celebrate your baby. 

    With a wedding, I would not view it as an exchange of goods.  The costs of my wedding were a lot more than the gifts that we got.  It is more that family and friends are helping you with building a household--thus the gift registries with specific items that one needs for the household, and of course the money that your family and friends helps the new couple with their expenses. 

    I think it is fun and a joy to be there for a mother to be.  I really want the best for her.  I want to make things easier for her.  And just wish my best for her and her baby. 

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  • AlexJ217AlexJ217

    I find it refreshing that you DH does not expect gifts. I just see so many posts on all different boards about people complaining they arent getting enough - almost like it is expected for others to buy your LO everything needed. I know that doesn't help you explain in it to him.

     

    I always tell DH that we are truely blessed to have so many people in our lives that WANT to celebrate our baby.

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  • HippiechildHippiechild
    Look at it this way: it's ur LO's 1st b-day party.
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  • hopefulmomhopefulmom member
    That is kind of funny...and weird that he "doesn't get it".  As far as the bridal shower and people getting "free" food at the wedding reception...did he forget they PAID for their food by purchasing yet another gift for the two of you (separate from the bridal shower).  The showers (both bridal and baby) are to "shower" the couple/bride or the baby/mom-to-be with helpful/useful gifts for the home or baby.
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  • BeckyTheEngineerBeckyTheEngineer

    imageHippiechild:
    Look at it this way: it's ur LO's 1st b-day party.

    I was thinking like this; think of it as a 0th birthday party.  If he get that kids have birthday parties with gifts, that could be more relateable.

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  • K.a.T.eK.a.T.e member
    Tell him he doesn't have to "get it" -- its something that the women in your life want to do for you.  He doesn't even have to attend! 
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  • PubStar09PubStar09 member

    imagehopefulmom:
    That is kind of funny...and weird that he "doesn't get it".  As far as the bridal shower and people getting "free" food at the wedding reception...did he forget they PAID for their food by purchasing yet another gift for the two of you (separate from the bridal shower).  The showers (both bridal and baby) are to "shower" the couple/bride or the baby/mom-to-be with helpful/useful gifts for the home or baby.

    His thing was that we threw a huge party for everyone (our reception), so their gifts, shower and wedding, were repayment for that. Confused

    imageK.a.T.e:
    Tell him he doesn't have to "get it" -- its something that the women in your life want to do for you.  He doesn't even have to attend! 

    I really have my heart set on a family shower.  I hate sitting in a stuffy room with a bunch of female relatives.  I think the one my extended family is throwing for us is going to be a cookout with both guys and girls. I'm very excited.

    So in conclusion, he'll be attending. Big Smile

    Batman likes to watch cartoons on the weekends. Whatever.
    image

    "I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
    "Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
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  • akl0506akl0506 member

    No offense, but is he new?  Surely, he has encountered baby showers before, right?  A baby is fun and exciting.  People know that you will need lots of stuff and they like to buy cute things.  Plus, you have likely given (or will give) your fair share of shower gifts over the years.

    If that fails, tell him its a girl thing and you don't get fantasy football (or World of Warcraft or whatever).

     

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  • melissajoyshepherdmelissajoyshepherd member
    Just tell him women love babies, and there is still food and favors so the "exchange" that made it okay before is still there. Tell him friends and family want to support you in this next big step in your life.
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