help me think this through..no flames please RE:sleep training (LONG)

yankee42 · April 2010

little miss lady has some real sleep issues, and i know they are totally caused by me. She is EBF on demand, and we co-sleep at least half of the night and I act as instant boobie tap.

I actually don't mind that part, i love sleeping with her..DH doesn't love that, because I sleep in her room with her..and you guys know we have issues, and that is something important to work on..anyways..

my main concern is that it has begun to take about 1.5-2 to get her to sleep at night, now most nights the only way to get her to sleep is to lay down and nurse her, and that can even take an hour or so. then i wait about 30 minutes and move her to her crib, after she is actually asleep, most nights it is easy to get her back to sleep when she wakes with a quick nursing..but she tends to wake every 2 hours all night long, and really only EATS once.

her other problem is she is a very gassy girl, and when she nurses constantly to get to sleep, then won't give me a burp before she goes back down..she will wake up a bunch screaming because she needs to burp..then needs to nurse again to go back down.

SO, i really need to teach her to her to go to sleep without nursing..she WILL NOT go to sleep by just rocking, just laying down together, she wont take a paci..i've tried drowsy but awake..but nope..oh, and she is still freaking swaddled :P

whew..stay with me here, haha..

DH is off for a week starting next week, so, if we were going to ST, next week would be ideal (he works at night), so he could be here to deal with the boys if any crying wakes them, and be there to support me

i did ferber with the boys, and it went SO well..but they were a little older, and they didn't have the very very intense crutch of nursing to sleep. so i am okay with that method, but i worry a bit about going straight into it from such a deep attachment to each other. an issue with her is she SCREAMS her little head off if she is not being nursed to sleep, whether i am there or not, i have tried staying in with her and having a hand on her, talking to her, tried just sitting in the room with her..tried leaving the room for a while, every way she screams..so would it even be advantageous to start with the "no cry" method where i stay with her? (and she would actually cry her butt off) or should i just ferber, and get it over with much quicker..so that EVERYBODY (i really worry about the boys) can get good sleep.

ll this being said, i don't mind waking at night AT ALL..once or twice for her to REALLY eat is totally fine for the next year, i don't care..its not that, its the hours to get her to sleep..which sometimes extends to naptime, which i can't be away from the boys putting her down for naps for too long..

anyways if you read this, you are a saint, and i really appreciate the opinions

rockvillebride · April 2010

We never did sleep training and he did not STTN until he was around 6 months old. So, I'm not very helpful on that part. However, what we did do as part of our routine was I either nursed him or gave him a bottle sitting in a chair in his room. Then, when he was done, sometimes he was asleep/sometimes not. I'd put him straight into his crib. I'd soothe him in his crib for a minute or two if he woke up and then leave even if he was still fussing. He would stop crying within 5-10 minutes. Today, we do almost the same routine, though he does not fall asleep while eating. He goes into his crib, I read him a book or two, turn on his gloworm and he hangs onto his blanket, and he calmly goes to sleep on his own.

So maybe start with not feeding her laying down? To address the gas issue, could you give her some gas drops and then just burp her midway through feeding her, so that if she does fall asleep you can just put her straight into her crib? Sorry you are dealing with this...

alison43 · April 2010

this reply might be scattered but i'll try.

DD was the same way and getting her to bed was horrible. her nightwakings then got worse and worse where it would take FOREVER to get her back down even after nursing--she'd wake as soon as she hit the crib. we were even using a heating pad to warm the mattress before putting her back down...it was nuts.

we finally did ferber at 7.5 months. it worked so well and really cut down on how many times she needed us at night. we would hear her rustle, move around, and go back to sleep. if she needed to nurse, she woke up and let us know.

now i'm having problems again but who knows, it could be teething, it could be crawling, she was recently sick...so she is still going down easily but waking up more than usual at night. it's ok, it's manageable, but still.

i'm not sure what the best method is...you could always try ferber, see how it goes...she might surprise you. first night DD was out in the 1st or 2nd 7 minute interval and it got better from there.

good luck--keep us posted!

ESTH2000 · April 2010

our sleep situation is very similar..I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution book because I was told it had some good advice on breaking the nurse to sleep association but I haven't gotten to it yet...I think its called the Pantley method

yankee42 · April 2010

rockvillebride:
So maybe start with not feeding her laying down? To address the gas issue, could you give her some gas drops and then just burp her midway through feeding her, so that if she does fall asleep you can just put her straight into her crib? Sorry you are dealing with this...

thats the way we start every night..i try to nurse her in the glider, try to put her down 2 or 3 times after she falls asleep, and she wakes up every time...laying down nursing is the last resort, but nowadays we usually end up there :P

jensneb · April 2010

No flames here, and I wish I had some suggestions for you but I'm brand new to this too. I wish you luck. I say definitely take advantage of the week DH is home to do whatever you choose and stick to it, it may take longer than that week. Good luck with whatever you choose.

MonkeysGirl05 · April 2010

I ran into sleep problems with Henry after he had a hospital stay in January. To me it sounds like you have multiple issues. One being that she can't fall asleep on her own and two night time feedings (our problems exactly). I read parts of the No Cry Sleep Solution and Ferber's book. The NCSS/pantley method did NOT work for us, but I did give it a good try cuz I wasn't a fan of CIO. If you don't have to ferber book, I'd get it because it has suggestions on how to cut down on night time feeds and getting the baby to fall asleep on its own. Basically, each night you spread out the time between feedings. So, the first night is 2 hrs, then 2 1/2, then 3, etc. If she wakes before it is time to eat, you do the ferber method of checking on her in increased intervals. It took three days for good progress for us. Good luck!

JGirl2005 · April 2010

CIO didn't work for us and we had the nursing issue (nurse to sleep for DS)

what time does she go to bed? maybe it is too earlhy

yankee42 · April 2010

JGirl2005:
CIO didn't work for us and we had the nursing issue (nurse to sleep for DS)
what time does she go to bed? maybe it is too earlhy

she goes right after the boys..usually about 7:30..definitely not too early, and she is without a doubt tired, and always falls right to sleep at the boob...but its putting her down..i can rock with her fast asleep for an hour, but then i try to put her down, and its met with screams :P

dundasgirl · April 2010

Hello are you me? I wish I had the answer but Penny is right in between me and Tommy.

I cried CIO and well we all know where that got me:(

LMK8605 · April 2010

I would say just do Ferber and get it over with... but I know how hard that is (we are having issues too). Whatever you decide I would just commit to it 100% while DH is off work and go from there... hope something works!

laura1 · April 2010

I say do Ferber too. A co-worker of mine had this same issue...except we work nights and so when she was working, her DD was at home with her DH and 2 other kids screaming all night because she could only be nursed to sleep. Her DH was up all night every time she worked because her DD was up all night looking to be nursed to sleep. Finally, in order to save her husband and her marriage, without quitting her job, she did CIO. She did straight CIO - no checking at intervals or anything, and it worked in 2 nights. Her DD was not quite 5 months yet when she did it, and after that, she only woke 1-2 times a night to eat. Good luck to you!

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help me think this through..no flames please RE:sleep training (LONG)

Re: help me think this through..no flames please RE:sleep training (LONG)

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