Want to SAH, how to make it work

taylor20204 · April 2010

I currently work FT, 40 hrs. 5 days a week. We are considering TTC for # 2 sometime this year. I'm seriously considering not coming back to work if we have another. I love my job and the money is great...but I think I would be happier being able to devote most of my time to motherhood (although who knows, the grass may just look greener). I haven't really discussed my thoughts with DH yet, although we did agree that I could work part time or stop working 'eventually'. But I feel like I'm kind of done with work and my goals in life have changed.

So for those who had to make a big adjustment financially, how did you do it? We do pretty well financially, with DH making about $30k more than me (I'm an atty. for a non-profit, DH is a pharmacist at a hospital). We would be ok on just DH's salary, but we would have to completely overhaul our life, as my salary allows us to live pretty comfortably. Did you sit down with a financial planner? Did you plan everything out yourself? If anyone was in a similar situation and would like to share how they took this on, I would love to hear! I'm thinking of paying down our mortgage big time for the next year and then refinancing and our cars will both be paid off in 1 and 2 years. DS is in daycare, but we would most likely continue him right into preschool at age 3 where he is, and I would stay home with baby #2 until he or she went to preschool.

Any advice? Thoughts? I need some direction before I bring this to DH...I think he'd ultimately agree to it, but I also know he's very happy with where we're at financially right now. Thanks for any help ladies and sorry for rambling on!

taylor20204 · April 2010

PS- Another option we have to help us out would be for DH to switch his schedule at the hospital to nights...this would add an additional $20k to his salary, just under 1/3 of what I currently make.

We have options, I guess I'm just scared to do it!

detroitblondie · April 2010

This question is asked A LOT on here... In fact I think it was just asked yesterday... maybe you could look over previous posts. Most of us have just cut back on pretty much everything and made it happen. You just have to decide what your priorities are.

taylor20204 · April 2010

Hmm, I don't see anything from yesterday besides the 'forced' to SAH post, but I will keep looking through past posts...I guess that would explain the crickets : )

almostjennifer · April 2010

I too used to be a non-profit attorney. Smile

We always only lived on DH's salary, to avoid the two-income trap and leave the door open for me to SAH. We paid off all debt except the house before I quit. We purchased our house using only DH's income as a guide on the mortgage. It was still an adjustment, obviously we could do much more if I worked (vacays, clothes, less worries about budgeting, etc.) but it was worth it to us for me to SAH. Although going from weeks in Mexico to clipping coupons sucks at times.

Since you and DH haven't discussed this before, I'd talk to him before you get your hopes up. Without him on board, you are DOA on this matter. My DH was in favor of it because he wanted me taking care of the kids instead of a daycare and because it allowed him to focus more on his job (i.e. he can work late, go in early, doesn't have to take off snow days) so he can do well in his career.

Good luck in your decision! And yes, the grass is always a bit greener on the other side. Wink

detroitblondie · April 2010

Yeah, that was the post I was thinking of. Did it help at all?

Squirrel29 · April 2010

I'm not sure if you have thought of this but I am a civil rights lawyer (I'm thinking my situation is very similar to working in a non-profit) and I actually worked out an agreement with my boss to continue working part-time (about 15 hours a week) from home for the next two years. I've been doing it for 6 months now and I love it. I basically do all the research / writing I used to do, check email several times a day, am available by phone and participate in a weekly firm meeting (I have someone who watches DS for a few hours one day a week). I am able to get all the work done during naps or on the weekends.

I'm obviously not managing cases, doing depositions, etc. but I still have my foot the door, I'm home with my DS and I'm making enough $$ so that we are basically in the same position we would be if I was working and paying for daycare, lunches out, etc. (I am on the lower end for attorney pay due to the type of work I do). I have no idea if this would work for you but it is a great middle ground for us.

als33 · April 2010

in your situation i think it's pretty feasable. you just have to get used to not having luxuries, and enjoy the small things, ha! although i'm not sure i would pay down the mortgage then refinance. you'll have to pay closing costs to refinance which may not even be worth it depending on how much your house is worth. i'd try paying down other debt if you have it, then work on the cars. i'm just guessing this, but typically car payments are bigger than what your mortgage would be if you to were pay down some of it. for instance, if you are able to pay 30K in one year towards debt, that will save about $250 a month, but then you have to pay closing costs, usually about 2-3% of the cost of your home. but if you can pay off a 30K car loan, you're reducing about $500 a month. granted this only makes sense if you plan on keeping your cars for several more years! gl!

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