Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Weird Stories from L&D

I am curious if anyone else had any weird or funny stories from their time in L&D.

The other day I was talking to my sisters about how all vanity and modesty really does go right out the window when you have a baby. After having the baby, and getting all settled my nurses came in to clean me up and show me how to take care of things, and to make sure I peed. Since i had the baby is the same room I was staying in there was still a bit of a mess on the floor so they called someone to clean it up. As I was sitting on the toilet the lady who cleans the room came in and started talking to me. I was sitting on the toilet naked and the nurse was spraying me with water, then was holding smelly salts down below because they sometimes help you pee, while I was talking to the cleaning lady.

Re: Weird Stories from L&D

  • Because of the epidural I couldn't control passing gas in the least. Although I could sit there with my legs spread wide open for 3 1/2 hours I was still super embarrassed everytime it happened. The worst was during my stiches I had to ask the dr to move because I knew it was coming and there was nothing I could do! Embarrassed He was completely unfazed but still!!
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  • The ladies at the hospital (nurses, LCs, doctors, cleaning ladies etc.) never pulled the curtain in front of the door before they left, after day one I just didnt care about it. I was nursing LO when the dinner cart came by so here I am: naked, kid on boob, confined to my bed, eating soup when my SIL, BIL, and their two kids waltz right on in with out a call before hand. They just sat there and talked to me like nothing was going on. then the nurse came in to press on my tummy and clean me.... IL's stayed in the room oo'ing and ahh ing over the baby. Thats my weirdest story.
  • I was so scared about crapping on the table that every time I was supposed to push I tried to clench my ass cheeks together.  That didn't go over well.

     

    Hours after giving birth I stood up and had the big gush of fluids...right in the middle of the room, surrounded by friends and family.  I ran to and stood over a garbage can.  Blood was spilling out the sides of my pad...a total blow-out.  I was mortified.  It looked like a horror film was being filmed.

  • As I was getting the epidural, I was holding on to the nurse and trying not to move. I ask my SO to come and hold my hand before they stuck me with the needle. But I got no response. The nurse turns around and I look up to find my SO passed out on the hospital room floor! He saw the huge needle and fainted. lol. The nurses made him lay there with cold wash cloths on his forehead for about 20 minutes. Doctors and nurses came in and out of the room and werent even phased. Apparently it happens a lot!
  • Right before DS was born my OB calls my husband over and tells him "put your hand here, put your other hand here, now pull him out".  DH delivered the baby with the help of my OB.  He told me all along he was going to be the shoulders up guy and didn't want to see what goes on down there.

    I couldn't pee after the epi wore off so while my nurse tried everything in the book, they ended up having to cath me.  The first time they did it, they got 1650 ml of fluid out of my bladder.  DH kept telling me I practically had a 2 liter of soda in my bladder.  Apparently I was the talk of the nurses for that.  The next day my new nurse kept telling me she didn't know how I wasn't crying in pain.

  • Since I hadn't has anything to eat since 7:00 a.m and I had my DD at 5:55 p.m, I asked the nurse as soon as DD was out if I could have something to eat. (DH still thinks I am crazy for this). They brought in my tray while my doctor was finishing checking me out. As soon as he was out of the way, I was eating, laughing and having a great time with my nurse, my mom and DH. When the doctor left the room my entire family came in. Later I found out that while I was pigging out, there was blood dripping off the bed onto the floor and puddling. A few people left suddenly while I was eating......and now I know why. Ick! 
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  • Two weeks before I went into labor, I had this crazy dream that I had given birth to DD, but she was so small, the doctors told her they were going to put her back inside so she could grow more.

    I actually ended up with a c-section, and as they were prepping me in the OR, I heard the doctor telling the staff that he was going to push DD back up(I had pushed for 2 hours and DD had gotten stuck).  In my drugged up state, I thought this was EXACTLY like my dream and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to tell the L&D staff about my dream.  There I was lying on the table, talking and giggling about my dream to them.  The doctor was like, "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay......you just relax now."  Afterwards, DH told me I sounded totally insane.

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