Went to the children's hospital today for our fetal echo only to be told that our baby has hypoplastic left heart syndrome. The good news is that we found it early and can now have a plan for when the baby is born, necessary surgeries, long term care, etc. The bad news is that I am so scared and know that there is nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to be able to deliver in our home town, the baby is going to need to be transported to NeoNatal ICU immediately and I have a lifetime of worry ahead of me. I'm sad and trying to be optimistic but am a complete wreck.
Re: Freaking Out...
First Hello! So nice to meet someone from Merced. I grew up in LeGrand and visit Merced often.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Big Hugs!
DD#1 - January 2008
DD#2 - September 2010
As the parent of a little girl who was born with a heart abnormality - I can certainly understand your fears. I can tell you that it is great that they found out so early. It is amazing what they can do in utero to help keep your baby healthy and monitored. With my daughter, they unfortunately didn't catch her cardiac issue until she was in congestive heart failure. They gave us a 50% chance that she would survive. Today she is just our little miracle! She is bright and active and people are amazed that this is the same little baby.
I know it's scary and nothing is the way you dreamed or planned it would be. My daughter was moved to another hosptial in the cardiac intensive care unit the day after she was born. I was so sad that I couldn't hold her or be with her all the time (I had a c-section and couldn't be with her for two days). Even though it was an abnormal situation, what I can tell you is that my memories of that time are so positive, despite everything, because of the amazing staff at the Children's Hospital where she was (it was in Boston). I can't explain how supportive they are, and they know what you are going through. It helps so much.
I don't know what your baby's condition will entail treatment wise, but I can tell you that the bond and love you will feel for this little person will amaze you and their strength and resiliency is amazing. I have so much respect for my daughter and the things she has fought through. I really believe it made her stronger.
Even though there will be ongoing check ups and tests etc. you will be amazed at how much you will learn, and the confidence facing this will give you. Science is amazing and the technology is there to help your baby - you will develop relationships with all of the baby's providers and after a while it won't seem strange to you and you will look forward to seeing them and seeing the baby's progress.
I wish you all the best! Try to take one day at a time and be grateful for any positives there are. Try not to think of the long term issues and just focus on what is happening now, and the little joys you can take from whatever situation you are in. In our case, on the tough days, I would be happy that I was able to pump milk to be tube fed to my daughter, or that I could touch her or (eventually) hold her. I tried not to think about "what if" or what would come next, and it really helped us to all stay calm and focused. You will be in my thoughts. Good luck!