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how much outside help?

PolarBerryPolarBerry
in Multiples
I'm newly pregnant with twins, but my parents are already asking what type of help we will want from them once the babies are here.  They live a couple hours away, but are willing to make themselves as available as we need.  How much help am I going to want from them when the babies are born?  These will be our first babies, so obviously i'm not sure what to expect.  I will have 12 weeks maternity leave from work, and my husband will probably only be able to take off for the first week.
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Re: how much outside help?

  • MarcieCasavantMarcieCasavant
    Take whatever you can get and as much as you can get. It would be great if at least one of them could stay with you for the first couple weeks they're home just so you can get help with laundry, food, sleeping.
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  • Proulx2BProulx2B
    My parents live a couple of hours away as well. We have a 2yr old daughter. I will not be going back to work after the twins are here and my parents plan on spending alot of time with us helping us out.  I am lucky that my dad does not work and my mom is a teacher who will have the summer off.  She has also let her boss know that if I happen to be on bed rest she will need some time off to come help me out.  I plan on taking advantage of all the help I can get. 
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  • GoalieWifeGoalieWife member
    I have local family, But didn't "need" any help. It was just nice being able to get out of the house often. But it's definitly do-able by yourself.
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  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    everyone is different.  DH and I didn't really need much help with the twins - we needed more help with people coming to play with our toddler --- the twins were "easier" than he was - slept most of the time - but we couldn't play with Griffin well when feeding/changing babies all the time.

    We don't like people helping with cleaning and that type of thing in our house... and did NOT want anyone staying at our house (thankfully everyone lives fairly close so that was not even a question)... For us- the best help was people bringing food and playing with Griffin. 

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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    My IL's watch DS1 quite often (FIL picks him up from preschool every Tuesday and they sometimes will have if another afternoon or two per week if DS1 really wants to see them).  Other than that, we've never had any outside help.  Honestly, having "help" just stresses me out so it's not helpful.
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  • nygrl79nygrl79
    Congratulations on your pg!  My moto is to never turn down help.  The people I have spoken to locally that have twins told me to get as much help as I can get.  My mom is staying with us for the first two weeks and my husband will probably take the first week to two weeks off.  Then, I hired a baby nurse help me with the twins for 2-3 months.  My SIL also lives near by, but I don't expect her to be of much help, except maybe to just "hold" the babies while I jump in the shower. 
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  • omalleyomalley

    My mom lives about 2 hours away and she came to stay with us the first 2 weeks and it was very helpful for us.  She helped give us some time to rest and she would throw a load of laundry in or wash bottles, etc.

    Also James was in the NICU a few extra days so it was nice to have her there w/ Connor so we could go back and forth to be with James.

    But I really feel that it depends on your relationship with the person staying.  I get along really well w/ my mom but I was a hormonal wreck during that time so a few things she did got on my nerves.  My husband would talk me off the ledge and calm me down b/c he was really happy to have the extra help.

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  • jlh123jlh123 member

    As pp mentioned, everyone is different.  We really didn't have any help with the twins but people did bring food over and that helped quite a bit.  I interviewed some overnight nurses/nanny and tried one out one night but in the end, we wanted to be the one with the babies especially in the middle of the night.  I wanted them cared for a certain way (especially my daughter who had feeding issues) so it's one of those things where if I wanted it done right or my way, I needed to do it myself.  I'm very close with my parents and family but we wanted our own family time and things done a certain way.

    Now when I was on bedrest, that was a whole different story!  I didn't refuse help then at all!

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  • PolarBerryPolarBerry
    Thanks for all the advice ladies!
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