Is this bad parenting?

karelaorange · March 2010

I'm torn about this. My DD tends to go to sleep at ~6, so early. Our neighbors want to have us over at 8. They live, literally, three doors down. Very close. We have a video baby monitor that we can watch her on from their house. My husband sees no problem with this. I know, logically, it's not a big deal, some people have houses that large. But it still doesn't rest well with me. What would you do?

BengalBelle · March 2010

I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

sevans1975 · March 2010

I couldn't do it.

jamie.renee · March 2010

Three doors down? I personally would not do it. The furthest I have gone is right outside for a little bit.

Shlei · March 2010

There is no way in hell that I would do that.

AMYfromKY · March 2010

No way.

SWMcFarland · March 2010

Yes, this is a very bad idea. Please don't.

mrs.larry · March 2010

we have a detached garage that we've finished as our living room. That's where our tv is. I won't even leave DS in the house while I go out there. I definitely wouldn't leave him while I was at someone else's house. Maybe that's not everyone, but that's what I'd do.

do you have a PNP you could set up in one of their bedrooms?

tdalbey21 · March 2010

No way! Have them over to your house or bring the pack n play and set her up in another room. We just had friends over on Saturday night. DD went to sleep at 7:00 they came over at 8:00 and she never woke up.

July_2009 · March 2010

No, I wouldn't do it. What if someone sneaked in or if the monitor goes out of range or any other unexpected thing happens?

kaylenpar1 · March 2010

It's not bad parenting, but I myself would not be comfortable with it.

And 8 is kind of late, IMO. I'm bathed and in my jammies by then, LoL!

penguingrrl · March 2010

I wouldn't do that. But I know people who trade babysitting with neighbors in their building and leave the kid in bed and just bring the neighbor a monitor and key. Also not something I would do, but not unheard of.

karelaorange · March 2010

Thanks ladies. Now I have proof that I'm not being overly protective.

NewFamily09 · March 2010

I think it is probably safe, although I can understand you not being comfortable with it. I dont' know if I would do it. Our neighbors across the street from us have done this many times when they have come over to our house. They would put their kids to bed and come over with their monitor. I think one time when their 3rd son was in the NICU, they put the 2 older kids to bed, brought us the monitor and a house key, and then drove up to the hospital to visit the baby. I don't know if I could do that,

KacieLeigh · March 2010

Our Summer video monitor won't hardly reach outside...much less 3 doors down. Either way, I wouldn't do it.

eaa18 · March 2010

I dont think I would be very comfortable with it... well I guess I dont know really, I have never been in that situation, the farthest I have gone is out to my yard with the moniter. Is there anyway you can just bring her and let her sleep in a pack and play at their house while you visit? Or have them over to your house if you cant get a babysitter?

NewFamily09 · March 2010

I think it is probably safe, although I can understand you not being comfortable with it. I dont' know if I could do it. Our neighbors across the street from us have done this many times when they have come over to our house. They would put their kids to bed and come over with their monitor. I think one time when their 3rd son was in the NICU, they put the 2 older kids to bed, brought us the monitor and a house key, and then drove up to the hospital to visit the baby.

rebus82 · March 2010

No way. Even in a row house/townhouse/condo situation, three doors is a long way if something happens. Not to mention, you're not going to be staring at the monitor the entire time. It's not the same as if you were in the next room and she needed help.

karelaorange · March 2010

To answer your questions, we've been trying to get her into more of a bedtime routine, so I don't want to disrupt that by having her sleep elsewhere. And our neighbors have a daughter 2 weeks younger, so they're in the same boat. Our monitor is actually an internet camera (password protected!) so I can access it anywhere with an internet connection. If the camera froze, I would obviously go check on her.

mfransdell · March 2010

No!

Erin5849 · March 2010

I would never do this. What if someone broke into your house? You may not be able to get back in time before something horrible happened.

ctab · March 2010

I would never ever do that. And, you may want to check with your state laws. In most states it is illegal to leave a baby home alone.

katypresson · March 2010

Bad idea. Either have them over to your house...or bring a PNP.

I thought that was common sense?

CalinsBride · March 2010

Um, he wants to leave your DD alone in the house?

I'd strongly advise that you not.

Either bring her or tell the neighbours you can't do it.

Can you put her to sleep in her stroller at bedtime, and then roll the stroller over with you when you go?

lkich · March 2010

Are you talking apartment doors or houses?

T_&_A · March 2010

Is this a trick question?

Chrysallys · March 2010

Hell to the no would I do that.

CalinsBride · March 2010

karelaorange:
To answer your questions, we've been trying to get her into more of a bedtime routine, so I don't want to disrupt that by having her sleep elsewhere. And our neighbors have a daughter 2 weeks younger, so they're in the same boat. Our monitor is actually an internet camera (password protected!) so I can access it anywhere with an internet connection. If the camera froze, I would obviously go check on her.

and while you were on your way to check on her some stranger could be making off w/ your daughter.

It only takes a second for someone to snatch a baby. Haven't you heard stories of parents who turned around for one second in the mall and never saw their kid again?

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · March 2010

AMYfromKY:
No way.

this, I would have them over my house instead

kes3237 · March 2010

Remember the little girl who was kidnapped while the family was on vacation? They left the kids sleeping in the locked hotel room and were down by the pool, periodically checking on her.

I would also be concerned about a fire.

StrawberryBlondeMomma · March 2010

1) that's illegal.

2) are you stupid? what if someone breaks in to the house or it catches on fire and you aren't there?

i can't even believe you would consider this. and i am not usually one to flame.

hire a babysitter if you want to leave the house.

mavilabride · March 2010

Can't you just put her in a PNP and have her sleep over there?

JewelzNBean · March 2010

You would *probably* be fine to do it. Likely, nothing would happen.

However, there is always the chance that something *could* happen. Then, you would never ever forgive yourself for not being right there. That is always reason enough for me to make up my mind.

JennifernKevin4ever · March 2010

I would never leave my baby alone like that. I don't even leave him alone to do laundry. Our landry is not too far, but I just feel comfortable leaving him alone.

devilingucci · March 2010

karelaorange:
To answer your questions, we've been trying to get her into more of a bedtime routine, so I don't want to disrupt that by having her sleep elsewhere. And our neighbors have a daughter 2 weeks younger, so they're in the same boat. Our monitor is actually an internet camera (password protected!) so I can access it anywhere with an internet connection. If the camera froze, I would obviously go check on her.

What if, God forbid, there was a fire? It happened to friends of ours... they barely had time to get their child out of the house and they were home at the time. The dog didn't make it. Is a dinner really worth that???

princessbeulah · March 2010

I don't think you should do it. It's not worth it. Just bring LO with in a PNP or hire a babysitter. I know you are trying to stick with a bedtime routine, but sometimes you just have to break it. I don't think one day will mess anything up.

DNK777 · March 2010

I would never do that.

courtneyaok · March 2010

I wouldn't go.

jolis_petits_bijoux · March 2010

I don't think I could do it. We also have a video monitor and I love the "freedom" it affords me - I am comfortable going outside and doing yard work or relaxing by the pool, whereas I don't know if I'd be able to do that if I had just a standard audio monitor so I couldn't "check" on him. But though I feel ok about doing that, I don't think I could leave our property and go to the neighbor's.

I suppose the only way I would consider doing it is if I left the video monitor on and watched it like a hawk all night. I wouldn't be able to enjoy dinner that way!

What about having them over after DD has gone to bed?

gwenypher7 · March 2010

Bring her with you. Even though probably nothing would happen, you'd be worried and distracted all evening if you left her alone. Not worth it.

Besides, one night of a later bedtime is not going to throw her off her schedule for more than a day. And chances are she'll sleep at the neighbor's if she really is already on that schedule.

poopteen · March 2010

Statistically, nothing is likely to happen. However, like pp said, you wouldn't want it on your conscience if you could prevent horrible things from happening, unlikely as they may be. Abduction wouldn't be the first thing to come to mind, but rather, say, a fire? A video monitor only covers the baby's room, and by the time you notice signs of a fire in there it may be too late.

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