Did you tell anyone? Or is it your little secret?
I told my mom. She's my sounding board for a lot of things. She said she's more than ready for grandchildren and is surprised that it took me this long to make a decision- with Mr Techie of course- and to plan it out. (She thought it would be months ago.)
Re: Who knows you're TTC?
My sister and some of my girlfriends. I'm dying to tell my Mom!
My close circle of friends know. I wish I hadn't told them but even before we started trying I was talking about how we were going to get pregnant soon (and look at how well that worked out!). I probably wouldn't have told my mom about everything except I couldn't go in for surgery without telling her and I didn't want to lie about it.
But all in all I'm pretty open about it - I don't like the stigma infertility has.
Both of our moms know, my best friend (who is his sister), 1 of my sisters know, and his best friend. And allllll of you ladies.
haha SHHH!!
Mrs. Techie - Have you been married long?
So far, my mom knows, I'm pretty sure my sisters kind of know, and my two BFFs know... I have a bunch of other friends who I'm sure know/suspect, but I don't talk about it with them. When we go out with the gang, though, I feel them watching me - does she get wine, is she drinking coffee.. etc. It's a little annoying - makes me want to mess with them - I've stopped drinking with the group.
Initially we didn't tell anyone. But now a few of our close friends and family know.
no one knows we are TTC yet... i'm sure some people assume we are, but for now we are keeping it between us.
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
I have 4 very close girlfriends that know. My bff (B) is dating my dh's bff (E).
Dh and I work together, at the same company as E. So I assume he knows as well.
Our parents and other family and friends do not- as far as I know.
We got married in Feb 09. We've been together since early 06 and feel as though we've known each other forever. All of our friends and family have commented that as soon as we got together they knew we had found "the one".
This is one of the reasons I asked. I'm hesitant to tell any of our social circle for exactly that.
I think that would be really cool. Someone close by to shop with and compare notes and bellies to! Good Luck on your own BFP!
Looking back at my baby plans for myself makes me shake my head. lol
It's a common sentiment here, but... if I knew then what I know now...
It's got to be a double pinch to the butt to get the BFN and to have to share the info with your friends.
Do people ask?
When we first got married I heard it a lot but now, not so much. I think it's becuase I convinced them all that it wouldn't be this year. Which is what I thought at the time too.
So sweet! I love hearing stories of when couples get together. DH and I have known each other for more than 12 years... this January we'll have been together for 8 years... and yeah, I still feel like I've known him and been with him forever. Best feeling ever!
The plan initially was to not tell anyone...
But I cannot keep my own secret!! So most of my friends know, but the good thing about most of my friends having children is that they know it doesn't happen overnight and that it can take time so I don't get the "sooo.... any news to tell me?" everytime I pick up the phone (only sometimes)!
When we first got married, people asked all the time, but b/c we were so young (23 & 24) we were easily able to tell them we weren't ready.
However, after being married for 7 years and now in our 30's we get looks and comments like "you don't have much longer", "don't want old parents right". Which to be honest, is really hurtful.
We aren't ready to tell we are trying but the questions seem to be getting more and more frequent from family and friends.
Aw, thanks.
Mr Techie didn't actually propose, lol. We just... knew. We both started looking at wedding rings on the same day which led to, "So, we're getting married then, right?". And one more little twist, we met when we worked for the same company (me, employee, him, contractor) and when I tried to spark a conversation with him, he said that he didn't get socially invovled with people from work. I emailed him and was snarky, said that I just wanted to talk to you! not have your first born child!
Look where that got us...
8 years of being married to your best friend sounds awesome!
I will never understand those comments, you know?
Things are so much different now than they were for our parents. For the most part, people work longer and harder on their relationships before jumping into marriage and a family. Not to mention the whole career thing. These things both take time in your life.
Mr Techie hears the "you aren't getting any younger" comments from family. He's 34 and his younger brother has 2 kids already. :shrug: He's okay with it for now but he's mildly concerned with having kids in the house past 50. lol (We want at least 2 kids).
Only my DH, and two girlfriends know...One is pregnant herself and a midwife, so its nice to have someone to ask questions!!
This is the only secret i've kept from my mum (we are very close) but i really want it to be a surprise for her, and can't wait to see her face when it does happen!
aCg 3.1.07 | hCr 5.5.11
SAIF Always Welcome
Diagnosed with PCOS: 10/03, On BCP to "treat" until: 7/09
Provera to end Cycles 1-9 (anovulatory)
Cycle #4 & 5: Clomid 50 mg FAIL
RE Visit: 2000 mg Metformin
Cycle 6:Forced Break, looking for androgen secreting tumor
Cycle 7:Clomid CD 3-10, 12-17 FAIL
Cycle 8: Clomid CD 3-10, Bravelle CD 12-24 Hyperstimmed
New RE: Put on Byetta, lost 23 lbs
Cycle 9: Financial Break
Cycle 10: Femara CD 3-7, IUI CD 17 BFP on 2/14/11, m/c 3/7/11
Just us and my friend of 8 years. I really want to tell my mom and sis but first off, I want it to be a surprise and second off, I do not want to hear their opinion if it is going to be a negative one. (My parents think we rush into everything because they took five years to get married and another five to have a baby)
I want to tell DH's Mom becuase we are really close, but I want it to be a surprise for her as well!
This exactly. There are moments when I regret it though, like when AF shows every month.
TTC #1 Since July 2009 slightly low progesterone, endo, kinked right tube, Clomid, Lap and Hysteroscopy, and 13 months TTC = BFP! (7/23/10) Cautiously Expecting... 8/19/10 - it's TWINS!... 11/8/10 - Boy/Girl twins! Born 37w4d
I can understand ducking the issue in order to avoid negative feedback. It's supposed to be a positive experience.
Do you miss the support of the people close to you?
We haven't been trying for very long so I don't miss anything yet. But I needed to run it by my mom to make sure my reasons for starting TTC were sound and not emotionally based.
We have not told anyone and will not until BFP! ::fingers crossed in time for Christmas::
I told my sister and Best friend. We wont tell anyone else and plan to announce to the family that we are expecting after the first Tri.
aCg 3.1.07 | hCr 5.5.11
DD 2.0 ~ 12/30/2013
I first told my sister, then my mother. A few friends and co-workers know. The IL's DO NOT know! They would be calling everyday for an update.