- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies on the Brain
Dee1028
member
My feelings are hurt-am I overracting?
Dee1028
member
I will start this off by saying that my nieces and nephews are my world. I have 6 of them and I love them all so much.
Today is our niece's 1st birthday. I was not invited to go there. I have no idea what is even planned for the celebration. I asked DH if his sister had said anything to him (they talk numerous times a day so it's not like they are not close) he said no.
Yesterday he called her to see if they had anything planned. She told him that her ILs (she hates them) we going over today and they were having a little something-DH is always fuzzy on details.
She said if we wanted to bring her gift by later on we could. My heart broke into a million pieces when I heard that. I guess because DH is working until 7 this evening that I don't matter?? I am good enough to get her a gift and good enough to babysit her when she was sick the other day but not good enough to be there for her 1st birthday?
I could cry about this, it hurts me so bad and DH just doesn't get it.
Am I overreacting??
*I might DD this later...though I don't think I said anything bad, just expressing my hurt.
Taking the Scenic Route
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My feelings are hurt-am I overracting?
Hugs sweetie.
FWIW, my feelings would be hurt too.
No. Our side (well DH's side) is extremely close. They see each other daily and rarely see the IL's, they would never make a special day just for them... when it comes to those things we always do everything together.
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
I don't think you over-reacted at all. And I don't think you said anything bad in your op.
I would be upset too, and I have been in similar situations (but not with kids involved yet).
I'm sorry Dee that would really hurt my feelings too.
Are you close to your sister? Would you feel comfortable just calling and telling her that you were really looking forward to celebrating your niece's 1st birthday? And telling her that you are hurt that you weren't included?
::hugs::
I would be hurt too. That kind of thing is so special, it hurts to be left out.
I just found out that my niece has been in a basketball league and only has one game left. No one told me! I feel like a terrible aunt for not supporting her. It wasn't done maliciously, but still no one told me.
It's not my sister, it's DH's sister. I woudn't feel comfortable making that call, plus I don't want to make it seem like it's all about me. It is my beautiful niece's birthday and it's about her today.
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
Well, it sounds like we don't know the full story since your DH is "fuzzy" on the details.
She probably didn't even think, and probably didn't think you'd WANT to come over. If she hates her ILs maybe she didn't want you to be around. I got from the story that they only people coming over were the IL's, yes?
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
I honestly have no clue. I know that DH's parents will be there, no doubt about that. And a friend on FB posted something about Happy Birthday to her so I wonder if she is invited too. I literally know nothing about the day at all.
Even if it was an oversight, how do you overlook your only brother's wife? The kid's only aunt that she knows. (her SIL lives far away and I don't knwo if she's even even seen her)
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
Mmmm...cake!
I'm sorry you're hurt - I would be too.
However, as a busy mom of a one year-old, I know it's easy to overlook the feelings of others, esp. on very busy days, which this undoubtedly is. She probably thought you wouldn't want to come without your DH, and didn't think to invite you earlier. Really, I would just call & ask her if you could come earlier b/c you are bored. Or just go.
:Hugs:
I don't know the whole situation obviously, but it sounds to me like maybe they didn't have anything planned and that her IL's are forcing themselves on her, possibly at the last minute. It doesn't sound to me like there is a celebration at all - just the IL's over for the day and perhaps she just wanted to spend the day as a family, so she's already resentful of IL's encroaching on that time.
I'm sorry your feeling are hurt, but it doesn't sound like she's leaving you out of anything, purposely or otherwise. I'd just take the gift over this evening and if it sounds like they had a big bash earlier, maybe then let her know that you are hurt and wished she had thought to let you know.