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Blended Families
karatechrissy
member
"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
BM's DH...
karatechrissy
member
I get SS from his nana yesterday after I got off work. (DH dropped him off for the afternoon, BM and her are fighting and BM keeps SS away from her mom when they fight. Nana hasn?t seen SS in about a week. They live within 5 minutes of eachother) get home, and we are hanging out on the couch, I?m asking him about his day yada yada yada? and Bella (our little 10 lb fluff ball puppy) comes up to him and licks his arm and tries to love on him. SS pushes her away folds his arms and says ?Bella don?t kiss me! Your not my puppy!?. At this I am floored because SS and the dogs are VERY close. I got Bella when DH and I were about 4 months into our relationship, SS LOVES her. He has been with her since she was a baby baby. He calls her his baby and tries to ?protect? her from our big dog when they play. And Emmett is SS?s buddy, they are 2 peas in a pod. Emmett is about 9 months old now, he?s half German Shepard and Dobie. He?s a great dog. He loves that little boy more than anything. He follows him everywhere, plays with him, very protective. They lay on the floor and SS grabs his ears and smooshes his face between his hands and kisses his nose. It?s actually very sweet to watch SS and the dogs interact.
Anyway, got off track. So I tell SS ?that wasn?t very nice, Bella loves you why are you being mean to her?? he looks at me with his eyes crunched together and his arms folded and says ?C (BM?s husband) said that Bella and Emmett are NOT my puppies, and leave them alone!?. I blink a few times trying to process this. That was the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. I had to make a quick decision not to tell him to tell C to go play in traffic? I told SS that ?Bella and Emmett are YOUR puppies, do you love them?? he said ?yes? (duh?) so I said ?well your puppies love you very much they love to play with you and give you lovins, you tell C that those are YOUR puppies?. He said ?ok, I?m right? They are my puppies?? I say ?yes?. He immediately changed his mood and grabbed Bella and said ?I'm sorry Bella, I love you? and kissed her nose. To say I was furious would be an understatement. How DARE he tell SS that those aren?t his dogs and to leave them alone! I wait for DH to get home to tell him what happened. He sat on the couch with SS and talked to him about the puppies being his puppies and that they love him and if C tells him anything like that again, to tell C to call his daddy.
Our dilemma as we are laying in bed trying to sleep is, do we confront BM and her hubs on this? Will they deny it? (Mind you, I highly doubt it?s something that SS made up, he isn?t a story teller, and DH asked SS ?Are Bella and Emmett your puppies?? and SS told the exact thing to DH that he told me). Do we just let this go? I am worried that they are going to start saying things like this about his sister when she comes. BM and her hubs have been trying desperately to conceive since they found out I was pregnant, and to no avail. (BM has fertility issues). I?m afraid that they are going to take this to the next level and start saying things like ?Lilly isn?t your sister? or ?don?t be friends with her?. Idk? the whole thing really upset me. How do you say something like that to a 4 year old? Even if they HATE us, why emotionally hurt SS like that? And should we do anything about it? I don't think us confronting them will make it any better... if anything it will make it worse. But I'm SO angry, idk how I'm not going to let them know that we know what they are saying to SS. What do we do?
Edit: Did we handle the situation okay? Is what we told him OK?
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BM's DH...
I would start documenting that stuff. And let BM know that youre not happy with her DH overstepping his bounds and saying things like that...but do it as a statement like "its not appropriate for ... and we won't tolerate that way of speaking to SS in the future" and leave it at that so its not open ended to start a big arguement.
And keep loving SS and letting him know that sometimes adults get confused and say things that arent right and its ok for him to love the dogs and you and the baby etc and that they ARE his family. every bit as much as C is!
That is so sad! I hate when adults do crap like that to the kids, it just isn't right.
I'm not sure I'd say anything at this point, as previously mentioned, sounds like you're dealing with two idiots over there so it's nearly pointless. Just document what happened and keep acting regular with your SS when it comes to the puppies. I have a feeling it will come up again at his BM's house and he'll probably say that you told him they were his puppies and stupid C will probably say no again, and it'll come back to you and you'll hear it all over again. At that point, I'd have DH have a little chat with BM about making SS feel bad like that. But only if it happens again. Let the first time go and maybe it won't happen again, I hope not anyways.
I think you handled it ok. See what happens, if it comes up again definitely have a chat with stepdad.