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TTC After a Loss
Ashley858
member
Can I get a divorce from my mother?? (long vent)
Ashley858
member
OMG my mom is going to drive me BSC! I have been more stressed out because of her over the past few months than anything.
She now swears that DH and I are having marital problems, that she can clearly see something is wrong. DH and I have not so much as argued about ANYTHING, well except maybe what kind of beer is better, since he got home from deployment. And apparently the one big thing that is an obvious indicator we are "having issues" is that I went to visit my BFF from high school on St. Patty's day and stayed the night at her house. And because of these 'obvious' issues. My FATHER refuses to let me pay off his car and buy land to put a house on (hahaha she honestly believes that she can control what I do). She swears that my DAD is the one seeing our problems and that he made it apparent to her.
The reason I went to visit my friend was because her BF broke up with her over the stupidest reason, obvioulsy showing that he did not actually love or care for her to use such a stupid reason. DH knows that she is like a sister to me. While he was out in the field for durning my second m/c she came here to our house and stayed with me for the week that he was gone so that I wouldnt be alone, and she did the same thing during my 3rd m/c.
DH told me to go spend the day with her and to be there for her. He even knew how much she loved her b/f and knew that she needed someone there for moral support. But apparently since DH went to visit with my parents, which is not uncommon, while I was visiting with BFF that is the final sign that pointed out the obvious problems we are having to my father.
Ok this is where it gets confusing. I have spoken with my father, he says that he has NEVER stated that I shouldnt buy the land to build our house, or that he believes we are having relationship issues. And that, that is all my mother. My mother usually will say that my father wants soemthing when it is actually her, because she thinks that if we believe my dad said it we will listen.
Apparently my mother beleives that DH is going to leave me soon because of these obvious to her yet not actually there problems we are having. And for that reason she does not want me to buy the land right now to put a house one because she does not want him to end up getting anything if he leaves me.
My mom believes that I have changed since college, and that I am not the same person she dropped off at college. Well why yes I have changed. I have grown up and I am tired of taking her BS. Just a little background, my mom would blame all of her and my dad's relationship issues on me, she would actually look me in the face and tell me it was my fault.
My mother and I have never had a great relationship, and it is only getting worse. She has always taked about how she wanted her and I to be friends, and I have tried many times to overlook the things she will say and do to keep her happy. But she refuses to see that as long as she acts the way she does we will not have a good relationship.
I feel so bad saying this, but if it were not for my Dad, and my brother living in this area I would love to just move away, very far away. And I feel bad about having this type of feeling and relationship with her.
If you read all of that bless you! I really just needed to get all of that off of my chest. Thanks for letting me vent.
3 Early Miscarriages 4 rounds of Clomid
BFP = 11/16/10 ~ EDD July 29th 2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can I get a divorce from my mother?? (long vent)
PAL/PGAL Welcome
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
That sounds like a whole heap o' drama.
Sounds like it's time to pull out the "Thanks for your input mom, I'll talk that into consideration." and then a change of conversation.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
Ugh, I am sorry that you are still having problems with your mom. It sounds like this is just another thing in a long line of problems. It sucks. No daughter wants to feel this way about their mother, but sometimes the mothers just need more help than we can give them.
(((HUGS)))
Rylan 1/27/2011, 2:42 pm, 5lbs 12oz, 18.5 inches long
Ayla 10/02/2013, 10:14 am, 6lbs 14oz, 19.25 inches long
Missed Miscarriage 6w3d 3/02/2010
I'll hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven.
DH really does not do anything except ignore it, because he knows that if he were to say anything to her that it would just blow up even worse. My dad tries to run interferance for me, but I dont really want him to because everytime he tries to tell her that she is being out of the way she then gets mad at him, and does the whole you care more about her than you do me blah blah blah DIVORCE thing. I really do not see how my dad puts up with her most of the time.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
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