Georgia Babies

Yes a SAHM vs Working Mom question

So for those that stay at home do you plan on going back to work once your child (ren) reach a certain age? If yes what is that age range? Why are you choosing on going back to work?

For the working moms do you plan on working indefinitely? Is anyone considering staying at home once the kids reach a certain age? What is that range?

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I stayed home with Elliott for the first year and have been working FT with a pretty demanding job and a long commute for the last 3 years. I barely see my kids during the week and I miss them dearly. I also have very little patience since I feel extremely stressed when I come home.

One of the reasons we are selling our house is to downsize where we only need to rely on 1 income. I like working and am not sure I could be a Full Time SAHM but DH and I have tossed around the idea of me working reduced hours with a less demanding job (9-3ish). I also feel that now that Elliott is 4, for me it is becoming more and more important for the kids to have more of a routine, more parent time and also basically more structure without the constant rushing around and a less stressed mom. I need to spend more quality time with them and not the teachers at daycare.

I have been feeling a ton of guilt lately and hate it. It is really hard to find the proper work life balance and I am noticing it more and more lately.

What are your thoughts?

 

 

Re: Yes a SAHM vs Working Mom question

  • I do not envy working moms one bit! I can't imagine having to balance it all! I can barely balance everything as a SAHM!

    With that said...I will probably go back to work P/T once our youngest is in school. I will probably just do something like a para-pro or subbing, that way I'm on the same schedule as my kids. That is unless something happens and I HAVE to go back to work F/T before then.

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    Abigail Taylor 09.18.2008


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  • For the working moms do you plan on working indefinitely? Yep!

    Is anyone considering staying at home once the kids reach a certain age? Not at all

    Finding the balance is tough for both working and SAHM.  So far we have a good routine down.  I am sure the addition of our DS will stir the put just a bit.  I have a short 15 min commute to daycare/home and things are working out well for us.

  • yep I don't envy you at all!  I went back to work after Finn was born and it wasn't until I started staying home with him full-time that I realized how much I really didn't know about him.  It took us a good month to figure each other out, and I'm not kidding, it was really weird.  Our plan all along (like before we even got married) was that I would go back to work after #1 was born and then I would SAHM after #2 was born and I would SAHM until the 3rd/youngest started school.  So we've always lived on 1.5 salary.  But, I started wedding planning part-time after Finn was born and I still do that, but I don't do it for the money, I do it because I LOVE it.  And since it is part-time I have an amazingly flexible schedule.  An dnow I just started the etsy shop because I also LOVE it and I can do as little or as much as I want/have time for and do it all in my spare time (when the kids are sleeping).  As for the long run.....I do plan to go back to work, but I don't know what that means.  I worked as a consultant/project manager for 11 years, I loved it too, so I don't know if I will go back to that, maybe pick up wedding planning full-time, I've always thought I might teach math, but basically I don't have a plan but know that something will come to me when the time comes.  I've got the rest of my life to work but I hope to be able to make it all something that helps me be here for the kids (pick-up/drop-off from school, practices, games, events, homework, FUN).  Basically they are my number one priority, I had a shitty family situation growing up and I will do everything to make sure they are happy and know that someone is there for them.

    sorry, I just rambled and I'm not sure if I've answered your question.  but I think that if you are feeling like you need to change things then I think that means you should try, but dont' stress, it will all work out, just take your time and it will come to you!  hugs momma!

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  • Once my youngest is in school I'll probably go back to work very part time (I'll try and get a job in the school or sub) I still want to be able to take them to/pick up from school, drive them to their activities, volunteer in their classroom, go on field trips and just be home when they are.

    I really enjoyed my job when I worked, but I have not missed working one day. I know that is different for everyone and a very personal choice...so you just have to do what is right for you!

    Grant Thomas 8.8.06 and Reid Alexander 8.11.08
  • I'm not mentally able to handle being a SAHM.  I will always work.  Maybe that makes me a bad mother in some people's eyes, but I swear I am a TRILLION times better mom because of it. 

    With that said, I know it sounds weird, but I've always thought...wow, how do "regular parents" do it once the kids get into school?  I mean daycare is open pretty much 6-6 (at least mine).  Doodle will be starting pre-K in August.  That runs from 7:50 til 2:15.  How the heck do working parents get their kids off the bus? or pick them up from school?  I guess that's what after school care is for and that part makes me sad.  I always thought, IF i were ever to be a SAHM, I would do it once they hit K.  I know it may sound counter intuitive, but I thought I could be there to take them to/from school or bus, go on field trips with them, be a helper at the school by volunteering...I'd be one of "those" moms that is really annoying and always into their children's education. 

    However, I don't think this will be an option for me in the future.  I've always been very proud of my job, my work helps define me and makes me happy (believe it or not). I've always wanted to be able to take care of myself and not rely on anyone.  If that makese any sense?!?

  • I understand how your are feeling. Just the stress of not feeling completely happy with work life/balance is difficult nevermind the day to day logistics.

    We only have Cadence now and I plan to work until we have #2. We are hoping to have a second child in 2011. So, assuming things work as we are planning, Cadence will be approaching Pre-K age when #2 comes along. I will hopefully SAH at that point. I really want to be around to see Cadence and  any future children through the early school years, drive them to after school activities..all that stuff.

    I'm really getting to the end of my rope with the daily grind and feel like something has to give. At the same time it is REALLY hard thinking about giving  up the security of a good full time job in the economy.

    I know it's so hard. I hope you are able to find what works best for you and your family and DO IT! :)

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  • imagehthomas02:

    I went back to work after Finn was born and it wasn't until I started staying home with him full-time that I realized how much I really didn't know about him.  It took us a good month to figure each other out, and I'm not kidding, it was really weird. 

    This is why my heart aches every morning when I leave my son.  I feel like I am missing everything and there is nothing I can do about it.  I will never be able to get that time back.  Hopefully one day we can afford for me to SAH.  That is just me though.  I can totally understand and see how working is right and best for other moms.  When I tell people at my job that I want to leave it, they are surprised since the economy is so bad and it is so hard to find teaching jobs right now.  I don't care though.  This is too important.  I feel like that will work itself out when the time comes for me to return to work and I'll worry about it then.  For now, I don't want to regret what would have made me happy now and what means the most.

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  • imagesoon2b3:

    I always thought, IF i were ever to be a SAHM, I would do it once they hit K.  I know it may sound counter intuitive, but I thought I could be there to take them to/from school or bus, go on field trips with them, be a helper at the school by volunteering...I'd be one of "those" moms that is really annoying and always into their children's education. 

    I've always wanted to be able to take care of myself and not rely on anyone.  If that makese any sense?!?

    Emily, I did not read your post before I made mine but the two points above are so VERY exactly me. The first one is what we are planning to do and the second one is why I am scared to do it despite feeling like it is the right thing to do for both me and my family.

     

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  • I'm really glad you posted this.  I work full time and even though I work from home most days, my work is very demanding and I work all the time I feel like.  I'm still working at 10:30 tonight and have worked til midnight every night for the last 2 weeks.  Tonight I took a conference call at 6:30 holding Hayden who was crying b/c it was time for bed, DH wasn't home, Colin was eating dinner....I almost started crying.  Add that to the fact that I'm extremely unhappy in my job and I'm having a really difficult time lately.

    I want to stay home at some point, or work part time or go back for my masters.  Haven't decided yet.  I've always operated on the 'must make $$$$ mantra'.  But I have a great salary and benefits and I'm extremely unhappy.  I'd take less money, less stress and more time with my boys if I could get it. 

  • My kids are 6 years apart in age so it's kinda of a unique situation.  I worked full time until Emma started pre-k at school (w/set 8-3 hours, tardy and attendance policy).  It kind of just worked out that way.  The office where I was working moved locations and it became an issue.  I had an opportunity to work from home for a medical billing company and even though it was a pretty big risk financially we decided it would be worth it for the interim until I could find something that worked well for our schedules. 

    It turned out to be a great decision.  I ended up leaving that company after about 6 months and went to work part time (8:30-2:30) at an accounting firm.  They fired me when I told them I was pg :(  After not working for a while I FINALLY found a part time job that is decent money with enough hours to contribute to the household financially. 

    The hardest part about working a regular, in office, part time job is that you don't typically get benefits or accrue time off, sick time, vacation time, etc.  There is a LOT of days that Emma has half days at school, now with furlough days it's even more.  The biggest drawback is that there is no contingency plan for that kind of stuff.  I just have to adjust my schedule to hers. I hope I never have to work full time again.  My brain has turned to mush by now anyway.

  • Ladies I have truly enjoyed reading each post and I can relate to many of you. Thanks for responding as we always say, we have a great group of very strong woman on here! Thanks and a big group hug from me. :)
  • There is no easy answer, and I think we all struggle with the right balance whether we work or stay at home.  For me, I have always been extremely driven and passionate about my career and moving up the corporate ladder.  I enjoy being challenged and in some ways thrive on that.  Being a SAHM never really occurred to me before, but I have thought about it more from time to time.  I think we all have some sort of guilt that makes it really hard. While I do have the luxury of working from home full time, it is almost a double edged sword.  I can pop in and out and see Ava throughout the day but it is a constant reminder that I am not the one doing activities with her or playing/singing, and it breaks my heart when she tries to come in my office and I have to tell her no and close the door cause I am on a call.  It is also hard because my work schedule often involves off hour conference calls in the evenings and weekend work, so after being away from her all day, I then have to explain that mommy has a conference call at night.  One of the other things that I struggle with is that I don't get out a lot (with friends or me time) - because I work so much I feel like I need to spend all my time not working with Ava and DH, so I hardly ever take any time to do stuff for myself or to get together with friends. 

    It is stressful at times, but for now it is working for us.  I am not sure with two kids whether things will be twice as hard.  I know that I am not yet ready to give up my job.  I worked really hard to get to my level and want to continue to grow professionally.  I wish there were more female executive role models with families, but I am beginning to understand more and more why they are rare. I don't know if I can continue to work 60-70 hour weeks as I have done in the past.  I think it will be OK if my career takes a back seat for a few years and I take a less demanding role, but I'm not sure if I could give up my job completely.  My family will always be my #1 priority, and I think I'll continue to re-evaluate whether our situation is still working for us and if we need to make a change, we will if necessary.  I've always had random thoughts about starting my own business but I'm not sure I have the time to devote to that either.  I'd love to find a job that I was truly passionate about and enjoyed getting up and going to work on each day, that also had a great deal of flexibility.  I just don't know if that job actually exists!

  • After my first miscarriage we started having serious talks about what we would do when we had a baby. After that talk for about a year we lived off of DH's salary only. To be honest I didn't make a ton so it wasn't that much of a stretch.

    Our plan is that I will go back PT so I can still be home when they are once the youngest {if we have another} starts Pre K. So we shall see.

    It is such a personal thing, the whole SAH vs. WM thing. I completely agree that for some working makes you a better mommy but, for me it just made me depressed. So for us this is what works. Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. Hugs.

  • when I was pregnant with Caleb, I thought I would be a working mom.  Well, I lost him and that made me and me look at things and life in general differently.

    I didn't know if I would go back to work after I had Sarah...plan was to take 1/2 year off - company allowed it as a leave of absence mostly unpaid and I would go back to work.  I decided to expand it to the full year and started to realize I didn't think I could go back to corporate life.  I was a Product Delivery Manager at Bellsouth, worked on projects getting new products to market.  I loved the job and you know the benefits weren't great and to be honest, I wasn't overworked hours wise, most the time it was your standard hours, but did have some calls at night when I was on a high profile project and this happened often enough to make me think "I don't wont to do that as a mom", when I am am at home I want to BE at home 100%.  Also work I did was deadline driven which had some stress involved.  At work and all my jobs in the past l had witnessed moms who were torn by decision to work vs stay at home and had to work...and the stress when the kids were sick or they had to leave and it interfered with a critical task they were responsible for.  I didn't want to deal with that either. 

    As much as I didn't want to deal with the above, I had a hard time leaving my job.  I always got great reveiews and people liked working with me on my projects.  I got to work on some fun stuff for the company with a very broad group within the company....as crazy as it could get, I really liked what I did and loved the people I worked with.  I still miss it, it was such a huge part of my self esteem. 

    It was an emotional decision and sad to say I was crying to my boss when I told him I wasn't coming back.  Now AT&T had bought the company which threw a whole new wrinkle in what I would be doing, but they did offer me 2 fantastic jobs to choose from in emerging technologies. 

    It came down to I decided nothing was more important to me than being with my child and we could afford it.  This is what I needed to do.  When I had Sarah, I had already buried a child, lost my mom, a sister and a brother....and you know I am sure this factored in as well - I just wanted to enjoy every second with her and watch her grow. This along with the fact that we could live on one salary while SC was a baby and that I would eventually go back to something.  We did cut back on stuff - to be honest, I am the one who gave up things like buying clothes and my expensive salon, but I don't miss it too much.

    My plan was to go back to school to be a teacher, but you know with education what it seems to be and dealing with parents and all the stuff teachers are dealing with these days, I think I will be happy just subbing or being a para pro once SC is in school.  I work at her preschool now everyday and love it....oh, I make like NOTHING, but if she is sick, they know I need to be at home and completely support me. I don't know exactly what I will do when school comes around, but hoping to work at some school in some capacity so when SC is off, so am I.

    Its been a  great decision for me, I miss working, but do not at all regret my decision to stay at home. 

    Sorry so long winded....hope this makes sense.

  • I have never wanted to be a SAHM. Granted, I am fully prepared for that to change once I have this baby, but the plan now is for me to work. I have a job with crazy hours, but in some ways, this will let me have the best of both worlds. I leave for work at 2:15 am and get home at 11:15 am or so (I only have a 10 minute commute at the most). My Mom is going to be our Nanny so when I get home, I will breastfeed if need be then go take a nap until 2:30 or so. Then, I'll have 5 hours or so to spend with the baby before I go to sleep at 8. Now, splitting your sleep up like that is probably not the healthiest thing, but I'll still get a total of 7 hrs or so.

     The best part about my job is that I only work 40 hours a week. Anything over that has to be paid overtime and they are stingy with overtime unless it is absolutely necessary. There's no bring home the office so when I"m done, I'm done and can focus on my family.

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  • Well I kindof am living in both worlds now. I never ever thought I'd have my kids at home but that's what is happening. I went down to part time in February and I work at home in the early mornings and during nap time. I usually have to work a few hours on the weekends as well. We had to make a choice and when we found out I was pg again that finialized our chocie to take Bailey out of daycare. It would take way more money in our budget to pay for 2 in daycare and we'd have no money for retirement or charity or anything extra. I'm about to start taking Bailey to an in-home daycare here in my neighborhood one day a week through so he can get out and away from me some.

    Since we live in the city and don't plan on moving, I'll be going back to work full time when bailey starts school since it'll be private school. Basically I'll have to make enough per year to pay for his and this baby's schooling. Thankfully we have a few more years for this.

    I never thought this would be my life but now that we're getting into a routine it's actually really nice.

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  • I love my schedule. I work from 7:45 a.m. to 2:15 p.m. Geneva and I get afternoons off to bum around and I'm home everyday to get dinner ready for our family. I work 32 hours a week (which is technically considered "full-time"). It also helps that my job is pretty low-stress. I don't carry it home with me. I've been there and done that and I can't imagine how you high-powered career moms handle it. Bravo!!

    Maybe you could find work at a school system. My stepmom went back to work when my brother entered kindergarten. She worked in school foodservice and has been there now for almost 20 years. No lunch lady cracks, please. ;) 

     ETA: I totally agree with Emily (Soon2B). I'm a better mom because I work. I stayed at home with Geneva for 9 months and I was really getting in bad shape mentally. I was meant to be out and about. I don't regret a thing about how things worked themselves out and I'm lucky I had a job that wanted me back after that amount of time.

    Lil' G was born April 25, 2008! Big C was born September 28, 2011! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I went back to work when Raleigh was 5 weeks old. When she was 2.5months old I took a 2nd job in an office working 8-3 and I brought her to the office with me. I was at this job for 7 months (it was a 6 wk temporary fill-in position for a friend). Since then I've had my own company and have always juggled keeping her home as much as possible and working full time. She's been in daycare 2-3 days a week at most. The past few months I have gotten too busy and she's been there 3-4 days a week. I do my best to take advantage of my schedule's flexibility to be with her as much as possible. This also means I work until 1-2am.

    It will never be an option for me not to work. My husband just doesn't have that kind of job. I also would not want to NOT work. If we won the lottery I would still work. I absolutely love my job!! My husband on the other hand would love to stay home, so I guess we'll see how life goes!

    ~Meredith
    I will not go where the path may lead, I will go my own way and leave a trail. Gaudium, Aut Vium Invenium Aut Facium
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  • I'm a SAHM and I like it that way.  I never imagined that for myself, because I was always career driven.    When I left my job to move overseas, I cried.  I loved that job.  If we hadn't moved overseas, I would still work there.    But we also wouldn't likely have children because our condo in the Northeast was not big enough and we were priced out of buying something new.   Which is pathetic when I made a crapload of money and my company paid 100% of the most kick ass benefits program ever.  I also had 50% off at Saks and 25% off at Tiffanys.  

    Then I left my job and we moved and I didn't really work over there.   When I got pregnant, we decided then that I would stay at home.   By then, I'd been out of work for 6 months already and I couldn't imagine going back once we had the baby.   I would not be going back to the job I had previously loved and I couldn't imagine juggling being a new parent and getting to know a new job. 

    At the end of last year I was looking to go back to work, because I thought it was what was best for my family and I really struggled with it.  I was so conflicted. I did not want to leave my baby girl, I did not want to give up our time together.    I would have been very happy to do PT but I was not happy about FT.  

    Then I found out I was am pregnant again and everything changed.   My husband and I decided I wouldn't take the job and I would SAH with both kids.  And eventually I will go back PT, and stay PT while the kids are in school.  Or hopefully MOH will be wildly successful and I won't go back, but I am not about counting my chickens before they hatch. 

    We have given up a lot for me to SAH.   We don't buy as much, eat out as much, travel as much, or save as much.  There is very little in ways of entertainment and anything we DO do is for our kids.   Its hard sometimes to know what  we once had and that is what makes me want to work.    But I am willing to do a few years without "stuff" for this time.   And truth be told, we have a good life, so I can't really complain.   Its just the difference between shopping at Target when I used to shop at Saks.   If that makes me a little materialistic, then I can deal with that. 

  • When DH upgrades I'm out! Can't wait to be a full time SAHM. We'd like to travel much more often.
  • I am not a mom yet - but I plan to work f/t once the baby is here (after extended maternity leave). The reason I am not questioning it is because my company is very family friendly and I can work from home. If I didn't have these options and support from my office I would consider working p/t.

  • Kiersten this is why I posted I miss being a SAHM.  I am not good at both.  I am either fabulous at work or fabulous at home.  I can't be fabulous at both.  I always wanted to be a mom and be home with the kids.  It was never a question.  I hope that you and Dave figure it out.  Noah and I are working hard to get me home with the kids.  Truely they are better with me home.  Noah is better with me home. 

    I love to work and will find something to do that will allow me to have both.   I have always worked, but always around the kids.  This job I have now is stressful at times.  I am on a huge deadline and this makes my household stressed. 

  • I'm a working mom and my goal is to go part-time and work from home when Alec starts kindergarten.  Our house in Decatur is right across the street from my school, so I would love to be able to walk him to school and be there with him when he gets home.  I think it's so important to have parents there with kids after school to help them with homework, take them to extra-curricular activities, and just take care of them.

    I am sacrificing the early years with my kids so I can be there for them during the school years.

  • Prior to having kids, DH and I agreed that I will continue to work when we have kids unless we see/feel the need to provide extra care to our children (i.e. if they are not doing well in daycare, if they are sick a lot, etc). Fortunately, William thrived and enjoyed daycare. So far it has been good for him.

    I'm very fortunate to have a job that offers good compensation and moderate stress level. There are times where stress is high but for the most part, I get paid good for the amount of hours that I worked. Like Mollie, I'm very ambitious and have worked so hard to get to  this level within my company. The next level is more demanding and I see myself stepping to that position when the kids are older. For now, I'm happy with where I am.

    I also think like care99, more $$$ is nice. If I SAHM for a year or 2, I'm missing out on a couple of things----ability to put extra money on retirement(plus company match up), get the yearly bonus and raise we get, add years of service to retirement.  They add eventually and I think we will reap the rewards as a family when both DH and I are older. This will put us in a better position to help out our kids financially when they are starting their own family. DH and I had to build everything on our own (we did good but it would have been nice to have some help).

    SAHM or working is a very personal decision. Both have pros and cons. I think you have to do what feels comfortable for you. One thing is very apparent----we ladies put our families as the priority whethere the choice is to SAH or work. I'm very proud of all the mommies in here!

     

  • Great topic!  I've been struggling with the same thing.  My commute is killer and I want to be able to spend more time with DS and not worry about being the last mom to pick up her kid at daycare each night.  I'm constantly struggling with how to be a good mom and spend time with DS and have a thriving career.  I've always been really motivated to move up the corporate ladder and so far I'm really proud of what I've done.  I don't think being a SAHM is the right choice for me but I think a job that is less stressful, more flexible, and would allow me to spend more time with Oliver would be worth it.  Since I'm not in a profession where I can take 5 yrs off and then start right back where I left off, I want to continue to work but maybe take a small step back for now to be with my little man.  Every day I realize more and more how important the work/life balance is and that even if I made slightly less but got to spend more time with my family that it would really be like a promotion. 

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  • I fight a constant battle with my decision to work.  Part of me desperately wants to SAH but deep down, I don't think I would be happy if I wasn't working- even if it's my own business or volunteer work or somethign else.  Not that I think that SAHM's aren't "working"- I KNOW that is the hardest job in the world- but also rewarding- hence my desire to do it.  I have always believed that Happy Mom = Happy Family and so far, I have managed to stay happy while working FT.  That could change though and if so, I will have to make a decision at that time.  However, I know that if I have the opportunity to SAH and I don't take it, I will always regret it.  Ideally, I would work PT for a few years until we are done having kids and they are all in school, but there is a lot of stress in that lifestyle as well.  For the moment, I am trusting that God will lead me down the right path when the time comes- for now, I am content with where I am.

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  • I don't really fit the bill of a SAHM or WM since I run my own floral business out of my home. I feel like I embody a little bit of both worlds. Before we moved, I was downsizing my business to do one really big wedding a month or two good size weddings. Now that I am starting from scratch again here in Atlanta, I will do as many weddings in any size to get things started. I figure in 1-2 years things will be going well enough that I can downsize again. It just takes too much out of our life together when I am working 3 or 4 weekends out of a month. DH has to be with DD when I do weddings so it prohibits him from getting projects and stuff done around the house. I do like to think that eventually in like 5-8+ years I might be able to quit doing weddings all together, but it definitely depends on our financial situation.
  • I have the same feelings that you have Kiersten.  I miss my boys terribly and I feel a lot of guilt for working a full time job, but in the same sense, I enjoy working.  I just wish I could do it on a part time basis, but my job is too demanding and I would never be able to work part time or work from home.

    Dh and I have talked for years about downsizing so we can live off of just his income, but we have never gotten around to getting the house ready to sale.  I've already told dh that I would like to either quit my job or get a different job by the time the boys are in elementary school.  I want to make myself available to be there for all their school work, to help out in the classroom, and to do any extracurricular activities they'd like to do.  So my goal is to be able to quit my job in the next couple of years and become a sahm or at least work part time somewhere.  But, dh and I have talked about putting them in private school, and if we go that route, then we would need my income to do that.  We have some really tough decisions ahead of us.

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  • As things stand right now, I will probably be a SAHM once our baby boy arrives.  I am hoping that decision is the best for us and I am really struggling.  Mostly since I have worked since I was 12, babysitting, odd jobs, college jobs, co-ops, internship, FT, and FT with PT at one point.  But the truth of the matter is that my head is just not in it anymore and I am burnt out.  DH has been so careful with managing money and his career is pretty good so we can definitely swing it and still live our same lifestyle pretty much and save plenty for retirement.  In fact some days I feel guilty that a) I work while P is away at day care and b) there are those without jobs who NEED them and some days I don't even want mine (its shameful, I know).  SAH would allow me to travel to see family more, volunteer more, travel with DH more (he sometimes goes interesting places), and get more done around the house and yard, stuff I have always wanted to do.  And besides that I would be enjoying my children like I always planned.  I might end up going back in to the University System in some capacity in the future since I only have 3 years or so to be vested in the retirement system, but aside from that I cannot see myself working FT ever again unless I have to or have additional schooling or at least updated coursework that would allow me to re-enter the science or engineering field.
  • I am a WM but I really want to be a SAHM. I never thought I would feel that way but after having G there is nothing I want more than to be a SAHM. Unfortunately it is just not in the cards for us right now. I don't mind my work but I am not loving it either.

    It is hard for me to balance right now. I went back to work in Jan so we are getting settled into a routine. Everyday I feel like I am wishing my life away because I want it to be the end of the day or the weekend so I can spend time with G. It makes me sad just thinking about it:(

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  • ahhh so many sentiments I could quote.

    This subject really kinda depresses me and has since the moment I came back to work. We always said I would work FT with the first and at least drop to PT with the 2nd thinking we too would give up the 'baby years' in order to stay at home with the children when they 'really' needed us before/after school. But since returning to work if it were possible I would give up my job in a minute to be at home with my sweet boy.......but of course there are a couple of factors. 1) like ebear I only have 3 years to be vested into the University System of GA. I can't just throw away the 7 I have worked that easily. so close yet so far. 2) I too really enjoy our style of life and at this point am not willing to give up everything we would need to sacrifce in order for me to stay at home.

    A large part of me is waiting for dh to land this next job opportunity and believe me I wouldn't mind ridding on his coat tails at all! So the plan now is for dh to find a new job since he will be vested with the univ system of ga this year, i will continue to work full time until baby #2 which should hopefully put me at my vested date and then stay at home with baby 2 for a year. This plan still needs more thought because I don't know if we should take lmh out of day care at this point?!?! that seems so unfair to him nor do I want to lose our spot for Pre-K. Once #2 is in day care I would work PT....oh and that whole matter of finding that job.

    Working FT is a beast and I continue to struggle with balancing spending time with my son and dh and all the household chores that need to be done without them all snowballing. And since he goes to sleep so early I feel like we just see each other in passing some days.....gahhhh I am about to cry just thinking about it. I don't know what more I can do I can't technically work from home as a university we don't have those policies set and I have already altered my schedule to getting off at 4 vs. 515....which has helped a lot.

  • imagedleigh2020:

    I am a WM but I really want to be a SAHM. I never thought I would feel that way but after having G there is nothing I want more than to be a SAHM. Unfortunately it is just not in the cards for us right now. I don't mind my work but I am not loving it either.

    It is hard for me to balance right now. I went back to work in Jan so we are getting settled into a routine. Everyday I feel like I am wishing my life away because I want it to be the end of the day or the weekend so I can spend time with G. It makes me sad just thinking about it:(

     This exactly.  And with all the cuts going on I'm worried if I leave my job right now. I've been praying so hard about it and hoping I will be able to come to a decision by the end of April.

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  • And like Isis, I have just a couple more years to be vested so that is something else I think about.
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  • I think you are a GREAT mom first of all and I know you miss those babies. That being said i think you are def going in the right direction and I hope your house sells and you have the luxury of doing a part-time job of some sort.  I'm so excited for you. 
  • I am having such a hard time being a working mom right now. I never ever thought I would want to SAH, but after having my twins- there is nothing more I want than to be home every day with them. I get 3 hours a day with them and it just isn't enough. I LOVE my job- I LOVE being a teacher, I love the kids, I love the school I am at- but I HATE not being home with my babies. And I might be the craziest person out there for quitting a good paying stable job...but if I cant work part time next year, I will resign. I try to think of it like this...when I look back on my life in 20 years- I dont want to have regrets. I regret not being home every single day.

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  • I am in grad school while being a SAHM right now and I'm not sure when I am going back to work. Aug will be 2yrs since I have been at home. I'm just not ready for the transition fo rme or for Gabby. Maybe next year when she is 2.
  • dleigh2020: I am a WM but I really want to be a SAHM. I never thought I would feel that way but after having G there is nothing I want more than to be a SAHM. Unfortunately it is just not in the cards for us right now. I don't mind my work but I am not loving it either. It is hard for me to balance right now. I went back to work in Jan so we are getting settled into a routine. Everyday I feel like I am wishing my life away because I want it to be the end of the day or the weekend so I can spend time with G. It makes me sad just thinking about it:(

     My sentiments exactly. I am having such a hard time right now...

    There is nothing I want more then to be a SAHM. Due to the economy and the need for health insurance, I am tied to my job. It's even harder because I am not happy and it is physically and emotionally exhausting. I miss Juli so much. I'm also not healthy and feel like I am stretched way to thin.

     On the bright side (which I have to keep focused on) she is with my parents, has a great MMO to go to twice a week in the mornings and my job is flexible enough where I can pump her milk and call her when I need to. I'm also five minutes from home so I cannot complain there and only work the 40hr. I have to.  As soon as we can though, I want to go part time and then hopefully be a full-time SAHM. I never saw myself as a working mother and went into education because I figured it would be a good transition and a place to learn more skills I could use as a mom and would be easy to transition back to work when my kids are older.  

    Right now we are putting off trying to have more children until things change for us in this regards. I definitely agree with everyone who has said it above, if I can only stay home a short time though, I might as well stick things out now, get vested and then be home when starts Kindergarten.

     For those of you WM who are having a hard time, stay strong. For those who are happy working, ya'll are supermoms and I definitely respect you. For SAHM, I know the job you do 24 hrs. is one of the most important work that you can do and you can't call in sick or get time off so respect you too (and hope to join you!!)

     

  • I always wanted to be a SAHM. But those weren't the cards I was dealt and I had to be a working mom. It turns out though, that I am a better mom BECAUSE I work and have the break from the kids. As much as I love my children, I think I would go crazy being home all day, every day with them. I am lucky because I work from home and have a very flexible job where I can run my errands, do laundry, cook dinner, go to the gym, etc. during the day, if time allows. My job is either super busy or super slow. I imagine that if I was a SAHM that we would have a schedule and it mind not be that bad. In an ideal world, I would work part-time.

    This being said, I think I may be able to quit once my youngest is in Pre-K (three years away). My son starts GA Pre-K (8-2:30) in August and we are getting a raise as we won't have to pay for his childcare. We aren't using after care because my DH is going to pick him up 2x a week and take him back to his office to work on the computer or help him out (owns own business), my parents are going to pick him up 2x a week and I will get him 1x a week. We don't want to pay for the after care . . . .

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