S/o: Staying at Home and Education

donna&ed · March 2010

No flames...I don't intend to offend anybody. Just really curious.

I'm always wondering why some pursue extremely expensive schools, degrees, or higher education when they know that they would be staying at home. Is it for personal development? I understand that some might have pursued it with the intent of working and deciding later on that staying at home was best for the family. I have a friend who went for a Master's degree knowing fully well that when they have a kid, they wouldn't want to go back to work.

My main motivation for higher education was for career advancement.

myrall · March 2010

This is SUCH a good question, Donna. I especially wonder about our gals in the hard sciences. There is such a dearth of women in that area. Why pursue it and then leave it?

Daisy22 · March 2010

Well I got my CPA b/c I never really planned to stay home and I'm still doing CPA work just part time. Dh and I also got married 7 years ago on April 5th so we had a lot of time before we had Bailey that I used my degree and CPA. Even through B is home I still have to keep up with everything including my continueing education.

hthomas02 · March 2010

I do not have higher education, but I did work my butt off to get my PMP certification and now only 3 years later it is going to expire and it kills me. I honestly just didn't think it through. Basically I would still be getting the work experience credits from the wedding planning, but we just can't afford for me to keep taking classes for the PDU portion and renewing the membership etc when I don't have a jobby job and we're not sure I'm even going to go back to consulting. Had I thought it through more though and realized we couldn't/wouldn't pay for this stuff while I was home with the boys I probably wouldn't have bothered. again this is totally different then a full on masters/phd/etc. but at the time it was very important to my career/me.

MLvK · March 2010

You know its interesting you mention this, because I see it completely the opposite way. I feel like the SAHMs with degrees and certifications are better prepared to rejoin the workforce someday.

I do not have one day of college under my belt and I had to work VERY hard to get to the level and salary I got to. When I go back after a long hiatus, its going to be very hard for me to re-enter at the same level. I am basically going to have to start all over, because I don't have the degrees to back me up. And at this point, 4 years after leaving my job, I no longer have strong references.

ebearwife · March 2010

myrall:
This is SUCH a good question, Donna. I especially wonder about our gals in the hard sciences. There is such a dearth of women in that area. Why pursue it and then leave it?

Hard science lady here!

Love the chemistry and engineering, hate the corporate structure. I just don't have the personality for it. Would prefer to be a MOM over all else.

myrall · March 2010

MLvK:
You know its interesting you mention this, because I see it completely the opposite way. I feel like the SAHMs with degrees and certifications are better prepared to rejoin the workforce someday.
I do not have one day of college under my belt and I had to work VERY hard to get to the level and salary I got to. When I go back after a long hiatus, its going to be very hard for me to re-enter at the same level. I am basically going to have to start all over, because I don't have the degrees to back me up. And at this point, 4 years after leaving my job, I no longer have strong references.

I totally see what you're getting at. DH doesn't have a degree (long story) and my stepmom doesn't either. Both have had to work their ways up to get where they are. My stepmom desperately wants to leave her job, but because she has no degree, she can't laterally transfer into another position in another county. Simple as that. 20 years of experience don't count for anything with school systems. Education is the WORST at degree snobbery.

But, just because I have a degree, it doesn't make it any easier for me to walk out and get a job in my field. My degree was in public relations/journalism. I have almost completely lost touch with the PR field. My last jobs were in sports marketing, media relations and market research. None of which were solely PR based. I don't even know who the major PR players are right now.

It's a total double-edged sword with the job market right now. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

soon2b3 · March 2010

Honestly, I feel like I fell short with my education the day I accepted the job at my company (That I've been with now for 11+ years). I do have a Masters degree in Ind Eng and yet...i went to work as an IT consultant. I honestly haven't really used the real depth of my education since day 1. I mean you don't have to use FIFO, ergonomics, OR, QC, JIT, 3rd law of thermo etc. in telecom consulting. It did give me a good analytical foundation for work, i.e. thought process, how to ask the questions and such. So, let's just say the almost 2 years of blood sweat and tears that went into my thesis "An optimized scheduling heuristics for an open shop facility with preemption" is laughable in my real life application. I do think it's kinda cool that i have a book "published" in my college's science library though :-)

I do feel that my education fulfilled a big need in my own self esteem. I wanted to get a degree and an advanced degree to prove to myself that I could do it and that I was smart enough (and perhaps to help deal w/ some of my "daddy doesn't really love me " issues i may still harbor). My dad's an ME (from Duke) and he "only" had a BS. I was definitely also trying to make him proud.

Also, I never EVER thought about kids or marriage while I was in college. They just didn't even enter my mind at that age.

donna&ed · March 2010

soon2b3:

I mean you don't have to use FIFO, ergonomics, OR, QC, JIT, 3rd law of thermo etc. in telecom consulting.

dorkie. I LOVE u though for it!----fellow IE!

K&P414 · March 2010

It's so funny living in Augusta GA my whole life I have a different perspective. I actually quit college a year short of a BS so that I could focus on full time work and got to school part time for a 2 year assoc. degree. In this town, it is 99% who you know. I can almost guarantee if I applied for a job where I went to high school with so-and-so's daughter that I would get the job based soley on that connection if I had no degree vs. Missy Educated with a Masters but nobody knew who the hell she was. It's the backasswardsness that I love/hate about this town.

soon2b3 · March 2010

I know i know....we are DORKS! :-)

MrsBrandiGreene · March 2010

This may not be true for all areas, but if you're out of the workforce for 4 years regardless of education, its not going to be easy to re-enter the workforce

Kim&Dan · March 2010

Even though I plan to stay home for the first few years when we have kids I still plan to get a master's degree. I also plan to keep taking classes so that my teaching certificate will not expire. I plan to go back to work when our future youngest begins school. The way I see it my degree won't go away if I don't work for a few years. Even with an advanced degree (he has one too), its better for me to stay home than DH because he will ALWAYS make more than I ever will. Daycare is not an option for us.

JoJoEspana · March 2010

hard science lady here too. When I was choosing a major I wasn't thinking ID Sah. I had planned to go to med school at that point. Once I was working as a chmist ft I realized it wasn't my career of choice. So when we got married, we decided that once we had kids I'd stay at home and then pursue a masters when the kids got a little older. So when Joey finishes his CPA I'm planning to go start working towards a masters of nutrition and become an rd. Even if I knew I would one day be a sahm, I wouldn't change a thing. Part of what defines me is my chemistry background and my gt degree, not just being a mom.

soon2b3 · March 2010

K&P414:

It's so funny living in Augusta GA my whole life I have a different perspective. I actually quit college a year short of a BS so that I could focus on full time work and got to school part time for a 2 year assoc. degree. In this town, it is 99% who you know. I can almost guarantee if I applied for a job where I went to high school with so-and-so's daughter that I would get the job based soley on that connection if I had no degree vs. Missy Educated with a Masters but nobody knew who the hell she was. It's the backasswardsness that I love/hate about this town.

LMAO...Laurann, you CRACK.ME.UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I were still living in my hometown, then this would be the EXACT same for me :-)

K&P414 · March 2010

soon2b3:
K&P414:

It's so funny living in Augusta GA my whole life I have a different perspective. I actually quit college a year short of a BS so that I could focus on full time work and got to school part time for a 2 year assoc. degree. In this town, it is 99% who you know. I can almost guarantee if I applied for a job where I went to high school with so-and-so's daughter that I would get the job based soley on that connection if I had no degree vs. Missy Educated with a Masters but nobody knew who the hell she was. It's the backasswardsness that I love/hate about this town.

It drives my husband insane. But in the same sense, because I have lived here my entire life, as have my parents, I know a LOT of people. So I never truely worried when I was looking for a job. I had so many contacts on the inside. As a matter of fact, the one job that I got from cold calling is the the accounting firm where the M$*%^#r F#*&$^s fired me when I told them I was pg.

True story, yesterday I had this big meeting with the guy I work for and some new big shot accountants we're going to start working with. I *think* as the bookkeeper my boss was kind of playing the angle that I should maybe feel a little, not inferior, but just that I should know that he had options other than me. (He and I tend to butt heads sometimes and yes, I have told him to GSYO) So the Accountants walk in and they're all professional and formal and we're talking about Really Important Stuff and I notice the lady is kind of staring at me and finally she interrupts and said "Did you go to Evans High School." and I said "OMG, you're ALLYSON'S mom!!!" and then everything went sunshine and roses and my boss roll his eyes so far into the back of his head that they popped out of his @$$.

LMAO...Laurann, you CRACK.ME.UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I were still living in my hometown, then this would be the EXACT same for me :-)

soon2b3 · March 2010

Oh gosh...I can't quit laughing...that'll show your boss! It's definitely "who you know" LOL...LOL... Wink

kep · March 2010

There are no guarantees that anyone will have children or be married (or stay married). It is always wise IMO to have an education. You may use it; you may not. You may use it for a little while and come back to it. But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and/or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?

myrall · March 2010

kep:
But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?

Oh gosh. Let me count the ways I love you, Karen. You always put things in perspective. LOL

kep · March 2010

myrall:
kep:
But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?
Oh gosh. Let me count the ways I love you, Karen. You always put things in perspective. LOL

LOL, you, too, Myra! Can you tell I watched "Who Is Clark Rockefeller?"--well, until the recording messed up. (Apparently, there were issues with the network.)

soon2b3 · March 2010

I liked it before you added the cheating/revoking piece...but now...i LOVE IT :-) LOL!

Kerrin · March 2010

myrall:

kep:
But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?

Oh gosh. Let me count the ways I love you, Karen. You always put things in perspective. LOL

This. And let's not forget that college was not all about traditional eductaion and classes and degrees. That experience in general helps shape who you are today. You're learning book smarts, but you are also learning about yourself and life. Even without the degree, i'd be a different person today had i not gone to college.

Kerrin · March 2010

Kerrin:
myrall:

kep:
But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?

Oh gosh. Let me count the ways I love you, Karen. You always put things in perspective. LOL

This. And let's not forget that college was not all about traditional eductaion and classes and degrees. That experience in general helps shape who you are today. You're learning book smarts, but you are also learning about yourself and life. Even without the degree, i'd be a different person today had i not gone to college.

and obviously my zoology and spanish degrees did not help me learn how to spell "education" of all things.

donna&ed · March 2010

Kerrin:
Kerrin:
myrall:

kep:
But once you have it, no one can take that away from you. Unless, of course, you cheated and or are found out to be a fake and then I guess maybe a university could revoke your degree?

Oh gosh. Let me count the ways I love you, Karen. You always put things in perspective. LOL

This. And let's not forget that college was not all about traditional eductaion and classes and degrees. That experience in general helps shape who you are today. You're learning book smarts, but you are also learning about yourself and life. Even without the degree, i'd be a different person today had i not gone to college.

and obviously my zoology and spanish degrees did not help me learn how to spell "education" of all things.

Hilarious! I heart all the ladies in this board.

KT&John · March 2010

JoJoEspana:
Part of what defines me is my chemistry background and my gt degree, not just being a mom.

I think this is so true. Being a Mom is such a very important part of my place in life right know but it is not entirely who I am. I graduated with degrees in Journalism and French and found myself with a job in Marketing. I put myself through KSU's MBA program while working full time at a crappy paying job. I started my grad. school before I met DH and finished shortly before we got engaged. I did it for myself, as part of growing both career-wise and personally. Whether or not I would get married or have kids some day didn't cross my mind in the least.

If I do leave the workforce and come back I don't expect, or really even want, it to be at the same level I am at now. I am ok with my career taking a back seat until kids are through school.

scarlet115 · March 2010

I worked my butt off for 5 years getting my masters and then my specialist degree. My masters paid for iteself three years ago- and my specialist just paid for itself this year. I never imagined that I would want to be a SAHM....but now I do. So, yes, maybe it was a waste to pay all that money and then stay home next year. But both programs have paid for themselves with the pay raise I earned getting them...so it evens out.

jade_sweatpea · March 2010

I know you were speaking to women that KNEW that they would be staying home but I speak for those that kind of just fell into it. I never thought in a million years that I would be a SAHM and here I am almost 2 yrs now and homeschooling a 10yr old. Things change and I feel like you need to have something to fall back on. Children grow up! I really hate to hear about women who don't have anything to fall back on. What if you get a divorce and you have to support your children? This economy sucks what if your husband loses his job...with my education and skills I can go and get a job if he is having trouble finding one. What if he dies?

JDB3358 · March 2010

K&P414:

It's so funny living in Augusta GA my whole life I have a different perspective. I actually quit college a year short of a BS so that I could focus on full time work and got to school part time for a 2 year assoc. degree. In this town, it is 99% who you know. I can almost guarantee if I applied for a job where I went to high school with so-and-so's daughter that I would get the job based soley on that connection if I had no degree vs. Missy Educated with a Masters but nobody knew who the hell she was. It's the backasswardsness that I love/hate about this town.

This is so true! I grew up in Augusta, so I know exactly what you are talking about. Sometimes I miss that small town feel.

I never planned on being a SAHM even after I got preg with DD. I got accepted into grad school the week before I found out I was preg and decided it was now or never, plus there is no way I could be a FT mom, grad student and employee. I've been using the time as a SAHM to get my Masters even though I don't plan on using it to it's full potential until after DD gets much older. But atleast I still have it. So I guess for me it's a combination of personal accomplishment and preparing for "just in case" scenarios.

Mylittlehill · March 2010

jade_sweatpea:
I know you were speaking to women that KNEW that they would be staying home but I speak for those that kind of just fell into it. I never thought in a million years that I would be a SAHM and here I am almost 2 yrs now and homeschooling a 10yr old. Things change and I feel like you need to have something to fall back on. Children grow up! I really hate to hear about women who don't have anything to fall back on. What if you get a divorce and you have to support your children? This economy sucks what if your husband loses his job...with my education and skills I can go and get a job if he is having trouble finding one. What if he dies?

Ditto!!! I totally agree. I will continue working on my Masters degree and until I finish I will be a SAHM. I'm going to be a first time mom and pursuing a masters degree. At this point in my life working full time had to go. I'm def not Superwoman. As soon as I finish my degree I plan to return to work. I need adult interaction and conversations and at this moment in time school provides that for me. If you plan to return to the workforce in the future you will be competing with much younger kids who will have some form of higher education. Depending on my DH to provide for our family is very nice, but on the real. I have to plan for my future and our future children. Depending on my hubby in this economy is almost setting myself up. What happens if he gets sick, becomes disabled or dies??? My mom always said a smart woman must have a plan and she is still happily married to my father. But she reminds me how good it feels to make her own money... LOL

maykat · March 2010

When I planned out my education, I did consider if I would be a SAHM, however like others have said, you don't know at that time if you will be able to have kids and/or if you will ever get married. So when I decided to get my masters and switch careers (from retail-buying to IT) I picked a career that I would be able to support myself and be able to afford IVF (if I never got married).

Luckily for me, I did meet my DH and I have 2 wonderful kids. I don't regret having my degrees, nor do I think they were a waste of time. I think the skills that I have learned through attaining education and working have made me a better mother. Plus I'm super proud that I have a masters that I attained while working full-time and paid myself. I hope to instill in both kids the importance of education.

rara855 · March 2010

MLvK:
You know its interesting you mention this, because I see it completely the opposite way. I feel like the SAHMs with degrees and certifications are better prepared to rejoin the workforce someday.
I do not have one day of college under my belt and I had to work VERY hard to get to the level and salary I got to. When I go back after a long hiatus, its going to be very hard for me to re-enter at the same level. I am basically going to have to start all over, because I don't have the degrees to back me up. And at this point, 4 years after leaving my job, I no longer have strong references.

This is me exactly also. I have an aesthetic license and about 8 years of retail management under my belt but, that is it. I don't think you would ever waste that education. It would just give you a jump start when and if you re-entered the work force.

julienandy · March 2010

My BFF and I were talking about how some of the smartest women are working at preschools and as teaching assistants. She has older kids at a private school and almost all the people working there other than teachers have children attending - shock, even the lunch lady...... smooches to ya Myra.

My dad used to tell me college was important not so much to learn a trade or to know everything, but it trains you to think through things and to go find answers and information when you are working towards solving a problem or an issue.

My parents paid for my education, I chose the easy route, they offered to pay for it all if I stayed in state at a public school...so I went to GT. About 1/2 way through I realized I should have gone liberal arts but heck I made it that far, so I was graduation. I never saw myself as working with kids, but when I was at BellSouth it was very family supportive...yet when the decision came, many factors were weighed and home I stayed. I cherish my GT days and friends, it was VERY hard and pushed me to my limits and I learned alot about what I can do when I apply myself, so its not wasted in that sense.

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