Sensory issues: how much do you "push" your kid?

Re: Sensory issues: how much do you "push" your kid?

• bugmommy

  March 2010

  Ditto Auntie on the anxiety issue.  I push a LOT.  I try to break things down into steps (pun not intended) and start small.  I say "you try and then I'll help" roughly 157 times a day.  Sometimes I have to bribe to get him to try.  But then we have a day like yesterday when my DS put on his sock all by himself with no prompting because he wanted to go outside.  This is the same child that took roughly 15 minutes to pull up a pair of pants a few weeks ago. 

  Its hard to push them when they are scared, but I like to think of it as showing them there is nothing to fear.  You aren't throwing her in the deep end, you are wading in with her, holding her hand the whole time.
  

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• susanmosley member

  March 2010

  Behavior vs. sensory dysfunction.  Sometimes behaviors are behaviors, sometimes "behaviors" are sensory issues, and sometimes sensory issues become behaviors.  Unfortunately I don't think there is a simple answer.  I have seen a lot of mild sensory issues turn into drastic behaviors.  I can imagine as the parent, it is REALLY hard to determine when it is behavior vs sensory, because I KNOW I would have the tendency to try to nurture the sensory side, although that isn't really the approach I tend to take as a therapist.  If done carefully, logically, and lovingly, I think it is important to encourage kids out of their comfort zone when you know they can be successful (with or without your help).  GL.  Tough call.

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• docmay25 member

  March 2010

  I push.  Some things I push agressively, some gradually.  For example;

  Jack just decided that he hates the smell of sanitizer and soap.  he will freak out if anyone comes near him after using it, won't let his sister play next to him if she has used it etc.  This I push him on.  We live in our house as a family and you can't be mean by saying we can't be near you.

  An example wheer I push gradually is with food.  he has issues with smell, appearance and just plain fear of trying something new.  So with food with do it gradually.  tonight I want you to have the new food on your plate and smell it, tomorrow night you need to take one lick of it, the next night one small bite.  he can say he doesn't like it, but he has to at least try one bite before saying we don't like it.

  It is hard because he cries, the saddest cry.  But as it was said before, he can not live in fear of everything because those fears will just grow.

  
  
  
  

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• stillhoping

  March 2010

  for us it depends on the child and the activity. If it is something like walking the stairs and it causes major drama the therapist and I have agreed that she will do the pushing, she will be the bad guy for at least the first few times but once we get over the major "drama" of the issue then I will push it.

  For example Douglas is major oral issues and refused for the longest to even try pizza. he has this thing about "red foods" the sauce freaked him out, so for weeks we would have pizza for lunch every time we went to OT and ST, which was three times a week and she would make him touch it, feel it, smell it, take it apart etc.. and then he took a bite and well now I can not get him to stop eating it. But through it all I was not the "bad" guy. I was the understanding mom who did not traumatize him. 

  with water and washing their hair, daddy was the bad guy but that was only because he did bath time. 

  Right now KR is terrified of ants, which could be a common fear, but is getting on my last nerve. Today I was the bad guy. I pushed her and refused to carry her up the drive way after school, i did hold her hand but would not carry her. and now her daddy knows that if he so much as says there are ants outside he will have to deal with me. I had a drama field afternoon. 
  

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• hopanka member

  March 2010

  I push to a degree and more gradually...my husband pushes a lot. I take his disability into an account much more, my husband requires everything that any other kid would/should do. It's true that DS is much more calmer with me than with my husband as a result of this "pushing", but I find it to be a good balance. Dad is the drill sergeant, mommy is for relaxation. Not to say this is the ideal approach, probably it's not, but that's what we're doing right now. It's true that thanks to dad, he's able to play a number of sports and he approaches children much more than when he's with me.

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