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3rd Trimester
how often do people NOT tear?
From reading birth stories, talking to friends, etc. I feel like almost no one says they did not tear (or have an episiotomy). Anyone know how offen women don't tear??
For some reason I am terrified of tearing/episiotomy more than the rest of labor (probably for no good reason I realize). How much worse does it make recovery?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: how often do people NOT tear?
Well, this depends on what kind of tear you have. They come in degrees. Not to terrify you (but it will anyway) but my girlfriend had a 4th degree tear, and it was horrible--she had to stay in the hospital for a day or two extra, she had to have physical therapy (yes, they have physical therapy for your vag, apparently--there are people who specialize in this), couldn't have sex for months on end, etc. Not pleasant. Then again, her Dr. told her that is rare, and most people do not tear that badly (alot of people on here mention feeling alot better/no longer bleeding within a couple weeks).
I thought tearing or needing an episiotomy were more common than not.
How much worse they make recovery depends on how badly you tear, or how long the episiotomy cut is. Episiotomies are becoming less common because it's recognized that letting a woman tear generally results in a smaller cut (and easier recovery).
I had a minor tear and a fairly easy recovery. I felt good enough to have sex and start running again after just four weeks.
I am honestly not sure. I do know that episiotomy's are going out and they are letting you tear more than being cut. Which is my choice. I am doing perineal massage it has not been proven to help but it can't hurt!
More than I wanted to know: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vaginal-tears/PR00143
A lot of people don't tear, actually. If you want to read about positive birth stories, you should pick up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. At her birth centre the percentage for delivering over an intact peremium is 68.8%. And those are all med-free births.
Pretty good odds. (When tearing did occur, they were mostly 1st degree 19.1%, which is just a couple stitches and very easy to recover from.)
The thing is, a lot of doctors cut you out of habit because it's just what they've always done. You should talk to your doctor and ask what his/her practice is.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
Holy Sh!t!!! Omg... holy cow
as much as i really wanted a vaginal birth, this link makes me a little grateful that i'm having a c-section
This!!!
OK. Now I'm scared... and this is my third child!! I had an episiotomy with my second and c/s with my first. Why is this freaking me out?!?
Chandler 11/2000 ~ Bronwyn 6/2002 ~ Grayson 3/2010 ~ Matilda/Till 6/2012
BFP 10/20/11 ::sticky dust::
BFP 9/11/11 - m/c 9/25/11 5w5d
i had a very small tear (only needed 3 stitches)...i didn't feel it happen, i didn't feel them stitch me up nor was i aware that that was taking place. i had no epidural however he did numb me before stitching.
the first number 2 post partum was scary, but otherwise easy healing! love the squirt bottles they send home with you!
I tore in two places... right where the vaccum pulled my DD out... My Doc said if it hadn't been for the vaccum he didn't think I would have torn. I only needed seven stitches total and recovery was a breeze. It really only hurt for three days and I didn't even notice after that. I also didn't need any of the pain meds I was sent home with.
I had told my doc ahead of time that I did NOT want an episiotomy and that if I was going to tear to let me. I would rather tear naturally than get cut worse than I would possibly tear. I still feel the same way.
This is where I am having my birth, with Ina May's midwives in Tennessee. They do a lot of perineal massage, use of oils.....positioning (like getting on your hands and knees and even with big babies and breech deliveries they have a lot of success with avoiding tears. I would recommend the book no matter what kind of birth you plan on having...there is so much to learn in it!
I just had DD a week ago and tore pretty badly because she came so quickly. Don't know the degrees, but it took over an hour to stich me up. They wanted to give me an episiotomy and I was terrified and declined it...not sure if it would have made things better or now.
Recovery sucks, but it is not horrific or anything, and apparently my tearing was pretty "memorable" (to quote the OB.) If you do tear, my number 1 advice is to chug water like there is no tomorrow. If you get dehydrated and cant pee a lot (or your pee is really concentrated and acidic), it burns horribly, but if you can pee a lot of clear liquid, it is barely noticeable. I just keep telling myself that the recovery is not worse than labor was and it gives me strength :-)
I showed this to my DH about a month ago. He was MORTIFIED!!!! I just laughed at him. "See baby, it may never be the same" LOL!!!
I ended up with an episiotomy, because the baby was having a hard time crowning, that only took two stitches and I didn't even feel it at the time. I was swollen anyway (which from what I hear, is completely common) so I didn't really notice it at all afterwards. The stitches dissolved on their own, and I never knew they were even there.
and the quick numbing shot for the stitches was so minor compared to pushing... no worries, its not that bad
Meh, I'm not worried about it. I assumed a lot of people tear - at least my friends that had baby all had minor tears. They said they weren't aware that it happened until the doctor was stitching them up. And even then, they were so focused on the baby, they didn't really notice (or care).
I figure there's no point in freaking out about it - not much you can do. I have heard that episiotomies make your risks of a more serious tear go up, so you might want to talk to your OB about his/her opinions on the subject.
Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
Oh euuu. It was more than I wanted to know and I had a second degree tear. (which honestly wasn't that bad-thinking about it and looking at diagrams grosses me out more)
I've heard this too. I guess the research has shown that a natural tear is easier to heal from that one performed by an episiotomy.
Either way, the thought gives me the shivers.
Yeah, from what I have learned (Bradley instructor and books I've read), an episiotomy can lead to a much WORSE tear because once the skin is cut, it is more likely to tear on it's own - past where you've been cut already. OUCH. So, I would prefer to tear - the body is truly made to stretch so I am just hoping mine does!
Also, the biggest thing I've heard is that during crowning, it's important to relax as much as possible. Of course that is easier said than done, but it's during crowning and pushing forcefully (because it hurts and you just want the baby out obviously) is what generally causes the majority of tears (or at least increases the likelihood of severity).
I am the EXACT same as you! I am WAY more terrified of tearing than actual labor. Also, every single person I know has torn.....uggh thinking about it actually makes me sick to my stomach! We can do this!!!!
It just depends....
I tore and she was ONLY 6 pounds 5 ounces!! (and hemorrhoids)
My SIL had an 8 pound baby and no tearing, no hemorrhoids!
We both had vag delivery with an epi and similar body shape.
I'm SO JEALOUS! If I was living in Canada, I think I might make the trip down to give birth at The Farm. I'm so in love with the whole concept of birth being a natural, non-medical experience.
I'll be looking out for your birth story!
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10