Hi all,
I am a new mom.. had my baby girl on February 28. I am breast feeding and it is going well. However, as I am able to get out of the house more, I am getting nervous about breast feeding in public.
Can anyone tell me what they do when they are in public? I am not sure I am comfortable yet nursing her in front of other people.
Do you go to your car? Use a dressing room? Any help would be appreciated.
Also, I always use the Boppy pillow at home to help me nurse. I am not sure how I will nurse without the support it provides. Any help there?
Thanks so much
Re: Nursing in Public..
I started weaning myself off the Boppy around 3 weeks PP because I knew I would have to learn to BF without it.
I am nervous about NIP too because I don't want to make others uncomfortable. I have a nursing cover and need to set a goal to try it.
I do know that Nordstrom has a nice mother's lounge if you are at a mall with a Nordy's.
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A diaper bag under the arm makes a great makeshift boppy
As far as comfort, do you have a cover? Are you comfortable using that? I practiced at some 'safe' places first (a bfing support group, a meeting with some mom friends, etc) before I went 'solo'. It's easier to NIP when 5 of your girlfriends are also NIP at the same time.
I usually just go to an out of the way bench or table, mainly so I can contain DD and so DS isn't as distracted.
In the beginning I only went places with a fitting room or a ladies lounge with a chair/couch. This made it easy and in the lounge people would still come and go but they were all women. As I got used to what I was doing I could nurse in booths at restaurants (and even chairs when we didn't get seated against the wall or in a booth) and in waiting rooms. After a while I ditched the nurisng cover and now I nurse anywhere, anytime, with no cover because we are skilled at doing it discreetly.
Practice will get you there, but start where you will be most comfortable. Fitting rooms are great.
ETA: Oh, and I often still nurse in the car when it's the most convenient place. As for the pillows, as you get more accustomed to nursing you will be more comfortable with holding your baby up when you don't have pillows. I still use a throw pillow when we're at home on the couch, but when we're in public I just try to prop one arm up on a chair's arm or I cross my legs and that lifts his butt enough or something. Again, it's probably a practice thing. You will be more comfortable with it one day. As for the boppy, don't worry about how much you use it at home. When you don't have it you will improvise. One easy way is if you sit on the floor cross-legged (indian style) you can use your knees for support. This may be one way to first attempt it without the pillows.
Also, when he nurses one side, I cradle his head with that arm and often wrap my free arm around to grab the elbow of the support arm, which provides extra support so all the weight isn't on the one support arm. I guess it's kind of like I'm hugging him. I hope that made sense.
Some places like the mall or BRU will have facilities for nursing. I recommend a nursing cover if you aren't comfortable nursing without it. To improvise the support of a boppy, you could carry a thin receiving blanket and put it over your diaper bag and use that for a makeshift pillow. You might experiment with different holds - I was fond of the football hold when DD was young.
I've BF in a car, or if at a restaurant asked for a booth to shield visibility. Some of the larger stores have nicer dressing rooms and this is always an option. You'll get the hang of it and in the end of my BF days I was sitting on the bench in the middle of the mall b/c my daughter needed to eat and I didn't want to be forced into seclusion away from my family. Folks may give you some strange looks but it's worth it knowing you are giving your child the best gift.
I also recommend checking your states breastfeeding in public laws to make sure you are in compliance - some are better than others. I kept a card that had the statute printed out on it in case I was ever approached by a business owner who wasn't aware of what we can do to provide the best for our children.
I'm somewhat modest and I got this...
https://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524892593120&cid=shopping3&prtID=pfx&src=k232270&cm_mmc=Performics-_-Affiliate-_-Google%20Product%20Listing%20Ads-_-Primary
I like it, it keeps everything covered.
I practised at home before I went out - it takes skill and patience to learn how to do it, and it's really much easier to do it at home where modesty is not an issue. Also, as your baby gets older, neck control improves and I found that helped too (until they start to get curious and are always looking around!).
I still occasionally sit out in the car. A big scarf is handy too.
Good luck!
At first, I'd only nurse in the car or in dressing rooms as it was hard for me to make sure he was latched on correctly while not flashing anyone and I'm a pretty modest person. After a few months, I got a nursing cover and now I nurse pretty much anywhere using my cover. I haven't gotten any negative remarks and I find that the more I do it, the easier it is and the more comfortable I become. I never really liked the Boppy, it was too cumbersome and I just used a pillow. Another thing may be helpful is using a sling/baby carrier. I have a ring sling that works well and a Mei Tai and you can definitely be discreet and handsfree at the same time.
I just put my nursing cover on and go. Mostly at parks (I have a toddler who runs around while I nurse the LO).
I probably nip 1x a day at least.
I breastfed with my first daughter and it definitely takes some getting used to-doing it in public. I was also concerned with other people feeling uncomfortable but then I came to look at it this way. Breastfeeding is natural and is the best way to care for you baby's nutritional needs. It is unfortunate that nowadays it is often looked at as being weird or "uncomfortable." I think that is absurd that many people have a problem with a women, being appropriately covered, breastfeeding her child in a public place. When I breastfed I used a cover and was more covered than the average woman in a tank top or low cut shirt. Why should other people be "uncomfortable" around that? People have no problem going to a beach and seeing women in bikinis. And what is the issue with people having a problem with the "idea" of a baby breastfeeding in a public place? No one has a problem seeing other people eating at a restaurant. And what is breastfeeding besides your baby having a meal?
I totally understand that at first it can be really hard to get used to as a new mom...trust me I sure was!!! And honestly I was made to feel uncomfortable sometimes by other people around me who gave me dirty looks and made comments. Once I was breastfeeding in mall, I had found a discreet chair and was completely covered with my cover, and a woman came up to me and said I should be doing that in the bathroom. A bathroom? I asked her if she liked eating her lunch in a bathroom stall
Finding you own level of comfort is up to you and over time it will be easier. Get some good nursing covers and find positions that work for you and your baby. It is nice to find places that have special rooms near the ladies rooms for feeding a baby, but other than that you will have to improvise and search out places you feel comfortable with. With a good cover and a little juggling you can breastfeed pretty much anywhere it just takes some getting used to.
Good Luck!!!!
My daughter is 5 months old and I have never nursed her in public. I have used the car many times. At about 6 weeks we started her on a bottle because I knew i was going back to work and now if i am going to be gone for longer than she can go without eating I will take a bottle just in case. In the beginning I would just take a few extra blankets in the car to help me support her. Good Luck and congrats!
First, make sure you wear easy to nurse in clothing. I like my nursing tanks and a cardigan. Keep a scarf (a lightweight gauzy type, you don't want to suffocate LO) with you, I think it is 1000 times easier to discretely cover up with than a nursing cover. However, I liked the nursing cover in restaurants where I am more exposed due to my seat location. If I were in a booth with DH or my mom, a scarf would do
I nurse in my car a lot because it is a right there and so easy. We get to our destination and I top her off so she may not even need to nurse when I am running about. Plus, in the car I have the radio and it is pretty comfortable. On long trips I will bring my Boppy pillow with me. It makes nursing in the car really easy.
Whatever you do, be confident. You are feeding your baby. It attracts a LOT less attention than a baby in meltdown mode. Oh, and don't nurse in a bathroom (that's gross). The "ladies' lounge" at Nordstrom is as far as I will go and that is because they have sofas to sit on!
I was having the same concern. I have not had my baby yet, but I have researched some information on nursing in public. Maybe you'll find this site helpful, I did.
https://www.007b.com/breastfeeding_public.php
Practice in front of a mirror or your partner. That will help you determine how much you show and different ways to change your approach.
Also, layers help...a button up shirt or zipper hoodie or something over a nursing top can make a big differece.
My son is 8 months old and I am still nursing. In the beginning I was nervous about nursing in public, but quickly got over it. Crying baby vs. a few being uncomfortable about me nursing in public??? I choose a few being uncomfortable!!! I have a coverall that goes over my head and leaves my hands free to hold and support my son. Unless you're a nursing mom and recognize the coverall, most don't even know my son is under there, unless you see his feet hanging out...lol If you really think about it, when you delivered you had a bunch of strangers looking at your "stuff". I think being ashamed went out the window right then and there. :-)
I'm making myself some of these:
https://shop.bebeaulait.com/originals
I have some cordinating fabric for my diaper bag that my friend is making me - so I'll make at least two, one for the house and one for the road - my father in law lives w/ us so I'm really nervous about whipping my breasts out.
I've also bought a few tops from:
https://www.motherwear.com/index.cfm
They are really cool and 2 of them I can wear now cause they are a little loose around the belly (and I'm only 20 weeks).
But I'm planning on nursing whenever we need to where ever we are as needed by between the tops and the cover. The overs are great cause they have boning in them so you can be covered and peak in, but no one else needs to see.
JoJoLiz6 and other nursing mommies, I have a coupon I recieved the other day for a website called www.uddercovers.com. They offered me a promotional code which covered a free $32 nursing cover. All you pay is shipping I believe, unless of course you decide to get the gift set like I did which was a couple dollars more and you get a nursing bracelet to help remind you which side baby nursed on last ( I felt this was a smart buy for me since I'm currently forgetting everything while preggers) nursing pads, and the cover all come in the set. Anyway, the promotional code is reuseable, so you can open a new browser window and use it as many times as needed, or pass it on to other moms-to-be who plan on nursing as well. They have cute designs on them too! Anyway, the website is www.uddercovers.com and the code is Family2010. Pass it along!
Copied from my email: "This promotion gives you a $32.00 discount off your total order no matter what you put in your cart! This promotion code is valid once per transaction, so you can order as many times as you would like!"
My son is only 1 week only and I was an exclusive pumper for DD. However as I was determined to have this child latch on, I had my Mom make me two covers. While I haven't NIP yet, I've been practicing with the cover at home, so not only do I feel comfortable, but he's comfortable under there. My in-laws are coming in two weeks so I need to get the hang of it as I refuse to go to another room to nurse my son while they are here. I did pump in the truck with my father-in-law with DD and wasn't uncomfortable there as I covered up. They know it's the best for them.
Breastfeeding is the most natural interaction and mother and child can have! 48 states have laws which give a mother the right to breastfeed in any public place! DO NOT BE NERVOUS OR ASHAMED! You should be proud that you are giving your child every advantage by nursing!
I have a nursing cover that I use in public but I am not afraid to nurse in a restaurant, mall, park... or airplane! (Actually I am flying with my 8 month old son again tomorrow and plan on nursing him on takeoff and landing ;o)
When I was a little girl (I'm 29) I saw women breastfeeding a lot more often in public. I don't know what happened but I think if we nurse in the open with confidence and pride we'll be setting an example for future generations!
Practice at home first so you can get your bra unhooked, latch the baby, all while holding a blanket with your chin...at least if you accidentally "expose yourself", you are at home.
With my first, I was so afraid, so I usually went in the bathroom or in a dressing room, but now that I have lots of experience under my belt, I just do it out in the open (though I do still cover up...except my 6 month old has decided that he does not want to have his head covered, so now I have to figure out how to breastfeed in the open without exposing myself to everyone...anyway, my thought is that my chest is for my hubby and on loan to my baby, so I don't want everyone seeing the girls, but I love the quote that my doula has that says "if you don't like me breastfeeding, put a blanket over YOUR head!!!).
A great way to figure out how much people see, once you get latched, have your hubby take a picture of you and you will see that the baby's head covers up LOTS...more than you think from looking down from above!
Another suggestion is to wear a tank top under your shirt that you can pull down from the top which will help keep your tummy covered up and then you can use your top shirt to help cover up the tops of the girls down to your baby's mouth (found this out because of the above comment about my son not liking the blanket over his head!)!!! Anyway, don't let anyone stop you from breastfeeding in public! It is great!
Don't worry about nursing in public. Use a blanket or a cover made just for nursing and you are good to go!! I nursed my now almost 4 year old son in public for 2 years!! Just remember that you are doing what is best and normal for your baby!! I smile everytime I see a woman NIP. It is the most beautiful sight in the world. Just nurse where you are comfortable. I know the malls around where I live have lounge areas with comfotable seating and that would be my pick. I have nursed my son at Target, in the pharmacy(there is bench to sit on there) Walmart, by the back restrooms(never in the restroom) at restaurants(Johnny Carino's was awesome, My son was 3 weeks old on Mother's day and I was nursing him just as our food arrived. I was struggling to cut my chicken up when the manager came over and offered to cut up my chicken for me!! I was very grateful for that!!! He said he wife had nursed all three of their daughters)
Just remember, YOU have the RIGHT to nurse anywhere, anytime. Good luck!!
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When my son was about a month old, we were at the mall and he needed to feed. I sat down at some tables in the middle of the mall by a cookie shop. I covered him up with a big blanket and peeked my headed under it to make sure everything was good. I got a few weird looks but that the nicest thing happened. I had a lady stop and come up to me. I thought she was going to be mean or something but she told me how proud she was to see me feeding in public. Espically at my age (22) because a lot of younger people don't breastfeed anymore. She told me that she was happy because so many women are scared to do it in public. Made me smile...
Also, if I'm at Target, I usually go to the starbucks or eating area and same with Walmart I go to the subway. But usually at a resturant I usually just do it right at the table. No one says anything to be about it except for that one time and it was a good thing.
https://www.breastfeeding.org/law/CRS2.pdf
breaks down your states specific legislation on breastfeeding in public. @ the end is a state-by-state check off list as to what law each state has. Very interesting.
I practiced the first couple months at home/in-laws/parents houses of latching him w/out showing. you become quite rogue about it after a while, and I ended up not depending on covers, (although they are cute, they can be hindering).
When he was small enough, the football hold worked out great for me when out w/out a pillow, and gave better shirt coverage w/out completely covering his face and nose. If still needing some arm support, roll up a blanket.
As for needing a place in the mall or the store to sit: Benches at the mall, and the fitting rooms, or chairs in the furniture section of Walmart are just fine. If you still feel the need to be modest, use your car.
If you get stares or glares, I had a "go screw yourself additude". If I got any looks meant to humiliate or intimidate, I just gave them right back.