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So, if you don't speak to a relative what do you tell your kids?

meghans30meghans30 member
in Parenting
I'm pretty shaken up at the moment. Received an e-mail from my brother's wife telling the rest of my family that we would no longer be allowed to speak with or have any contact with my niece and nephew. She's a controlling b**ch who has been on a mission to allienate my brother from his family for years. She has also said pretty hurtful things about my older son who has a language disorder and SPD - said we didn't know how to parent, claimed he was a threat to her kids, and so on. While I know this relationship is toxic, it still hurts. How do I explain this to my kids? How do I move on? Sometimes families suck!
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Re: So, if you don't speak to a relative what do you tell your kids?

  • Jodi&JoeJodi&Joe

    You don't.  They are so young, they probably won't even know.

    And if they do ask for Uncle Johnny and Aunt Susie, you tell them they are busy. Period.  End of story.

    Kids don't need that drama in their lives.

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  • xbrooklyngrlxbrooklyngrl
    I agree with Jodi. I'd just tell them they are busy, not around, whatever.
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  • jerseygirlyjerseygirly
    I agree with pp, BUT, I would talk to your brother about this.  There's no reason adults can't get over themselves for the sake of the kids, especially when they're related to each other.  We had a period like this with my sister-in-law and didn't see their kids for 3 years...lo and behold we're all back together now and we (along with out kids) missed out on seeing their cousins (our neice & nephew) and you can never get that time back.  She needs to stop being selfish and see the big picture and your brother needs to step up and do the right thing....that's what I wish my brother had done and regrets not doing so now.  Just a little insight from someone who's been there.  GL!
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  • meghans30meghans30 member
    It was a wonderful way to start my morning.
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  • JulieRNbrideJulieRNbride

    We pretty much do not speak to MIL. When she calls or anything, she only talks to DH. The kids see her once or twice a year, if that, and when they do, they don't really know who she is....it's "that lady that knows daddy" to them, not grandma or anything.

    It has gotten dicey sometimes, especially when there is a school event like "Bring your Grandparents Day!" and DS will ask why my parents always come, and we usually respond, "Some people are just busy all the time, they don't have time to be here for that!" I have also told DS that not all people enjoy each other's company, and it's better sometimes to just be around people that like us. (Not my finest moment, but better than what I could say!)

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  • mgfit1mgfit1
    I feel your pain....MIL and I are not speaking now either.  It does suck.  I know I have to work something out for DH's sake so we have not said anything to our DS yet.  He has not seen her since xmas though and he was asking for her the other day....ugh!  I wish I had suggestions....just wanted to let you know you are not alone. 
    The Healthy Cucina Striving 2B Supermom Blog
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