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How to tell your mother something she doesn't want to hear???

Erika0831Erika0831
in 2nd Trimester

I have a question on how to handle a particular question....my sister had a baby by a guy who has been in and out of prison and isn't the most stable of men. Well because my sister is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her kid she lives with my mother.

Well my mother thinks that it will be ok to take my baby over there without me after she is born. I am not comfortable at all with my daughter being over there because of the situation. How do you tell a grandmother that her grandchild can not stay there without her mother? This is just something that I feel very strongly about and my mother is the type of person that she is always a victim. So you are always punishing her for something....ya she's one of those mothers!

How do I handle this particular situation. I'm just trying to protect this baby....my last baby died in the first trimester and I don't want to take any chances.

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Re: How to tell your mother something she doesn't want to hear???

  • flippy1234flippy1234
    Is it that you don't trust your mother w/ your baby? Or is it because of your sisters unstable guy that is over there? Is this only an issue when they are a newborn, or maybe when they are 6 months old? a year old? you will feel different? 
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  • K.a.T.eK.a.T.e member

    That was tough to follow.

    Your mom wants to babysit your child at her home and you are against it?

    Is it worth arguing over now?  just say "we'll see ... let's talk about this after baby is born"  Or I'd prefer you to babysit at my house, etc

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  • Violet_McPurplesonViolet_McPurpleson
    If this is something you feel strongly about then just tell her like it is. We have a similar situation with my in-laws due to my MILs alcoholism and we have told my FIL flat out that the grand kids will not be staying at their home with out us.
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  • *speedracer**speedracer* member
    the next time it comes up, tell her you're not comfortable leaving the baby alone with anyone, but that you will let her know when you're OK with something like that.  that day may never come, but at least she'll know how you feel about it right now.
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  • KaribrideKaribride member
    You might not feel comfortable leaving your baby with anybody alone. If she can't understand that, then so be it. Hurt feelings are nothing compared to your uneasiness. Just don't present situations that allow for the baby to be left there.
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  • Erika0831Erika0831

    My mother didn't really protect me as a child and maybe that's where it stems from. My sister's babies dad doesn't come aroung but he's jus the type of guy that would hear about in the paper that would just do something stupid and hurt others. And I'm not comfortable with the situation that is presented at my mothers house.  She isn't going to be a permanent baby-sitter, she thinks that she will be able to take the baby to her house if she would need to watch her for anything. I guess I can tell her that she can only watch my baby at my house because that is where I am comfortable having her.

    Thanks for the advise!

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  • Lolabug86Lolabug86 member

    image*speedracer*:
    the next time it comes up, tell her you're not comfortable leaving the baby alone with anyone, but that you will let her know when you're OK with something like that.  that day may never come, but at least she'll know how you feel about it right now.

    This!

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  • tyke29tyke29 member
    imageErika0831:

    My mother didn't really protect me as a child and maybe that's where it stems from. My sister's babies dad doesn't come aroung but he's jus the type of guy that would hear about in the paper that would just do something stupid and hurt others. And I'm not comfortable with the situation that is presented at my mothers house.  She isn't going to be a permanent baby-sitter, she thinks that she will be able to take the baby to her house if she would need to watch her for anything. I guess I can tell her that she can only watch my baby at my house because that is where I am comfortable having her.

    Thanks for the advise!

    I think this is only fair.  I plan on only letting MIL keep LO at my house if I feel comfortable with it.  It will be a LONG time before he will be allowed at her house without me (plus the hour drive). 

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  • moonrose2715moonrose2715 member

    I really wouldn't try to deal with this right now.  It isn't worth the hurt feelings.  If you are in a position where you need her to watch LO then cross that bridge when you come to it.

    I understand wanting all your ducks in a row but unless you think you'll need her to watch LO frequently, it isn't worth the drama it is likely to cause to tell her "just in case"...

    (Plus once LO is here you can always use the "baby sleeps SO much better at home do you mind coming here" or "all the stuff is here, I hate to pack it up..." etc)

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