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Not bonding to baby...anyone else experience this?

EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member
in Postpartum Depression

I had a terrible time bonding to DD#1 when she was born.  It took over 8 months for me to not resent her, never mind like her. 

DD#2 is just over four months.  I am not bonded to her, but recently I've felt incredibly guilty that I'm not talking/playing with her enough.  So, I make a concerted effort to play with her and give her my undivided attention and now I completely resent her and don't want anything to do with her.

I'm going to call my PPD contact but I just wondered if anyone else struggles with not liking their child? :(

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Re: Not bonding to baby...anyone else experience this?

  • yellowbyellowb
    Inability or not feeling the desire to bond with your child is part of the criterion for PPD. Definitely contact your doctor for further information/help.
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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member

    Oh girl, I'm sorry that you are feeling this way.  Please call and talk to someone.

    I did feel this way before I started my meds for PPD.  I loved him because I was supposed to, but I sure didn't like him and I wondered what the hell I'd done to myself, my life and that poor creature who I brought into this world.

    After getting on my meds, things got much better and I really enjoy LO now.

    I hope that things get better for you and soon. 

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  • SarahGroves11SarahGroves11
    It definitely got better for me after meds. Also he is sleeping for a 5 hour stretch at night so I am not a zombie like I was before. I used to just put him in his swing all the time so I could lay down. Now, he's starting to coo and kick and it's getting more fun. Give it time, and definitely talk to someone about how you feel! GL!!
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  • EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member
    Thanks!  I actually am already on meds Embarrassed and have been since about a week after DD#2 was born.  I had PPD with #1 as well.  It just feels terrible that I'm on meds and still feeling this way.  It sprung up on me you know?  Anyway, I do appreciate knowing others are/were in the same boat. 
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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member

    imageEnglishMajor03:
    Thanks!  I actually am already on meds Embarrassed and have been since about a week after DD#2 was born.  I had PPD with #1 as well.  It just feels terrible that I'm on meds and still feeling this way.  It sprung up on me you know?  Anyway, I do appreciate knowing others are/were in the same boat. 

    Sounds like time to either increase the amount you are taking or try a new med.  You should not be feeling like this, especially since you are on meds.  I hope that you are able to feel better soon!  We are here for you!

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  • LipstickLibrarianLipstickLibrarian
    Yes, I experienced this.  It got better with meds, but honestly it really got better once DD got a little older and past her colic.  I'd say - 6 months was OK and 10 months was good.  After a year, it's been very good.  I don't know if I would have felt differently if she had been an "easy" laid back baby, or if I am just really not a tiny-baby-person.  If you are completely fine with your DC#1 now, maybe you just have to *survive* the baby stage and know that in time it will get better.  I don't think it's a bad idea to at least try another dosage or another type of medicine to see if that makes a difference.  GL.
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