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2nd Trimester
samakasrc
member
Getting nervous for labor and delivery....
samakasrc
member
Hi everyone, I'm new to this board and thought I'd introduce myself as well as get some insight to some fears I have regarding labor and delivery...
I'm expecting my first baby, a girl - Evelyn Rose- on June 16th and couldn't be more excited. We are getting everything ready in the nursery and around the house and just enjoy bonding with her inside the womb.
Lately though, I've been getting more and more nervous about labor and delivery. See, I had a posterior spinal fusion for scoliosis at 15 years old (9 years ago) and this is causing soem trouble with the outlook of labor. Basically they attached rods and hooks to my spine and fused it into one solid bone so it couldn't progress any further. The problem with this is that I cannot have an epidural or any type of spinal or anything. This doesn't worry me until you mention c-section. I am not afraid of pain, I will figure out a way to deal with that part of it. What bothers me is the idea that if something doesn't progress right and a c-section becomes the only option, I have to be under general anesthesia... This would mean that for the first few hours of my first babies life - I'm going to be unconscious... and daddy can't be there to witness his first babies birth either... I know the ultimate goal is to deliver a happy healthy baby and have a happy healthy mommy after, but I REALLY fear missing that bonding/first feeding opportunity.... Is it wrong for me to request limited interaction with anyone outside of the nurses and daddy until I've had an opportunity to bond with her? I mean, make everyone wait till I'm awake and have met her and everything before they get to? It feels selfish but I would hate to be the last to meet her.... 
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Re: Getting nervous for labor and delivery....
I think you are well within in your rights to do this, it is your baby.
H and I did this with DD, she was in the NICU and waas rushed there before I even got to hold her, H was the only one to have contact with her until I was brought down there, after leaving my L&D Room, much to my MIL's dismay, she tried to barge in there and refused to leave till we let her see DD, eventually my H had to send her home/Forcefully tell her to leave because we were not ready for family to see her like that, since we had not even coped with what happened, and needed some time to deal with it before bringing family in to see her.
You have to put your needs and your husbands first, I know it sounds selfish but to be honest you are her parents and your say is the only one that matters.
JMHO
I agree with the pps, you'd be well within your rights to do that.
But just in case things don't work out how you want, I wanted to tell you that when I was born, I was rushed to the NICU and my mother was confined to her bed for weeks. She didn't see me until I was 3 days old, and the entire family had met me before that. But once we were together, there was no problem with bonding and attachment, even though for the first 2 months of my life she was stuck in a bed, and other people had to mostly take care of me. Today, and as far back as I can remember, my mother and I have a fantastic relationship, and are closer than any other mother and daughter I know.
So I understand your concern, I would be worried about that too! And I think it's a great idea to request a limit to interaction before you get to see her. But just keep in mind that no matter what happens, it doesn't mean you won't bond properly! She's going to love and trust you anyway.
We have the same due date!
As far as the issue of being the first to bond with LO. I think your request is more than reasonable.
One thing you may want to consider is how many people you are inviting to the hospital when you go into labor. Are you inviting parents, etc? Because if you were to have to have a c-section, those people would be waiting in the waiting area wanting to see LO asap. I'm not saying this should change your decision but its something to consider so you know how to deal with that situation should it arise. Do you want to wait until you give birth to call the families to come visit? If they're waiting around, who will explain to them that they have to wait to see LO? The nurse? DH? Do you want to explain ahead of time that if you go under this will be what happens?
Again, nothing to change your mind, just things to be prepared for so things go smoothly and people can respect your decision.
Oh my god. Are you me right now? We're even due the same day!! How does this happen!?
I had a spinal fusion when I was two years old with cadaver bone, have no rods or hooks in my back, but am fused from L3-L5 (not a long fusion, no, but they generally do spinals and epidurals from L2-S1, which is the vertibrea right after L5, so I'm unsure if I will be able to have an epidural or spinal, I need to ask my doctor at my next visit). I'm 85-90% sure that I will not be eligible for an epidural or spinal.
This doesn't panic me that much... until the thought of a c-section comes up. I was thinking the same thing, that I wouldn't be able to meet my son, Collin, until after recovery period and waking up from G.A. I'm not at all happy about this thought. I'm insanely jealous that I've been holding him inside of me keeping him safe and the thought of even DH being able to officially bond with him before I have even seen his face to know that he's okay doesn't sit well with me. I also would not want ANYONE to meet him (except DH) until after I had been able to have my time with him.
I do not feel like this decision on my part, or your part, is selfish at all. We need to do what we need to do to keep our sanity and know that things, in the end, will be okay. No matter how our babies get here. It's our right as moms to meet our babies before other people do. We shouldn't be 'punished' (in a way) because we had major back surgery due to something so out of our control (scoliosis in my case as well).
I didn't think about that. I know I'm expecting a few (maybe 5 or so) people at the hospital, maybe I'll just make sure they all know that if a c-section becomes necessary they will just have to wait...
OH MY GOD! Someone with the same/similar issue!!! I'm so happy!!!! I've been searching far and wide for you!
Oh I'm so relieved!
I'm also incredibly relieved that you feel the same way! I thought maybe I was being selfish and I guess maybe not!
Are you planning to go without drugs completely if you cannot have an epidural? Or will you opt for the intravenous drugs? I'm just curious - now that I have someone I can ask!!!
Thank you thank you thank you! You made my day!