New here, diagnosed with PPD :( — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

New here, diagnosed with PPD :(

My baby is 6 weeks old, and I have just not been feeling good.  I am so anxious and scared about everything, from taking him out of the house, to making sure his bottles are clean.  I feel like I am not bonding with him, and have no idea what to do with him all day long while DH is at work.  I get anxious knowing it's all up to me.  Even when DH comes home from work and takes over, I worry that he's not paying enough attention to DS (like he watches tv while feeding him instead of interacting) and that he doesn't put him to bed "right".  I feel so low, like I don't enjoy anything anymore.  Especially my baby.  I just want to feel like myself again.  I want to look at my baby and enjoy him. I want the feelings of sadness and guilt to go away.

I went to the Dr. yesterday.  She put me on lexapro.  I can't wait to start feeling better, but am worried that it won't work!  What if I never feel better?  My son is going to suffer b/c his mommy can't deal.  How horrible!  Thankfully my husband and my parents are very supportive, but he works and they live out of state.  I feel like I need someone with me and the baby to help me and hate when my husband goes to work.  What can I do?

Re: New here, diagnosed with PPD :(

  • No advice here (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))  I think its brave of you to ask and receive help.  I hope things settle down and you can finally enjoy motherhood - it truly is a blessing.
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  • I had so many of the same thoughts and feelings as you. I was terrified for DH to go to work and I feared having to be alone with DD and making decisions about her care. You will feel better, your son isn't going to suffer, you have made such an important step by seeking help. As far as what can you do to make it better....have you considered talking to a therapist? It has really helped me, especially with working through anxiety. Good luck with everything :)
    DD 12/1/2009
    TTC#2 Since May 2012
    Dx PCOS February 2013 on Metformin 1500 mg
    Met with RE October 2013, we've got a plan!
    Surprise BFP on "break cycle" 10/12/13. EDD 6/17/14.
    MMC discovered 11/25/13 at 10 weeks. D&C 11/27/13.
    BFP 2/8/14 Beta#1: 176, Prog 18! Beta#2:335, Prog, 19.5!
    EDD 10/16/2014

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  • I'm right there with you girl. I was diagnosed with my LO when she was 3weeks(shes now almost6) and the DR. put me on something but it wasn't Lexipro. The bad thing was i was depressed from day one of my Planned pregnany and had told the Dr and they thought it was just my hormones. By the end of the pregnancy i told them i was feelling more depressed then ever and i was afraid of getting PPD, but again they thought it was the hormones. But Within the first week of taking the meds i felt like everything was lifted off my shoulder and i was actually happy after almost a year. At least you have some help there while you meds kick in though, i've been home alone since the DH went back to work and have no family around us.(DH is military)

    as for you being worried about you not spending time with the LO, well according to my councelor i saw for my PPD they said the baby can sense it. I was BF untill the LO decided she didn't want anymore. So i  dried up after only 2weeks and the Councelor said she stopped taking the milk because she could sense i was depressed believe it or not.

    I also used to hate when my husband went to work but you can try what i did which was just doing what needed to be done with the baby (diapers,bottles,bath) and count down till the DH comes home. I knew once he was home he could watch the baby while i got to take a long shower, or watch tv in the other room by myself or what have you. If your meds work they'll kcik in within 2-3 weeks and you won't feel depressed at all and you'll want to spend as much time with your baby as you can.

    I hope this helps and hang in there, it'll get better in time...and if the meds your on doesn't work there are many different kinds they could give you.

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