That I have ruined my relationship completely with my DS. I hate that I have been so MAD that it has taken all my might not to toss him down the stairs. I am getting better and controlling my temper more...I just want to be a better mom. I hate the guilt I feel for scaring him and making him cry when he is such a poor helpless creature. I am getting help- I hate feeling this way. Just wanted to let that out of my system...I feel better now. Amazingly he still smiles when he sees me and that makes me feel like I must be doing something right part of the time!