vent - so much for ME time!

cp760 · February 2010

I never vent on here, but tonight I have to. I've gotta relieve this stress. Tonight is my night to go to my all-moms bible study. It's a night for me to go out, laugh & socialize with the girls and just not be 'on-duty' for 3 hours. I wanted to eat before I left, but of course I never got to and so I said I'd cook for dh and I when I got home (I purposely prepared a new grill recipe tonight because my mom let me borrow her Forman Grill). I spent an hour preparing the dinner (chopping/marinating etc), now I just needed to throw it on the grill when I got home. I came home from my group and the first thing I noticed was that the house was TRASHED. I mean TOTALLY TRASHED. Cushions off the couch, backpacks/coats/shoes all over, toys thrown everywhere, paper and crayons all over the floor, kids dirty dinner dishes on the table, guinea pig hay on the floor, cups and plates all over with half eaten snacks on them... the kitchen counters weren't even visible! I was only gone 3 HOURS! I don't even know how it's physically possible to do that much damage so fast! As if that weren't bad enough, when I got home dh was peacefully asleep (it's only 8:30pm). I thought it couldn't get worse until I go to kiss my oldest son goodnight and he says "My friend Ryan came over"... What!? We have some friends from church who we're just getting to know and apparently they called and asked dh if they could stop over (the couple and their 2 kids). Dh said "Sure, come on over".... the house was in this condition before they called (ds#1 said so). So dh let our new friends come to our house for the very first time to see this crap hole of a house! I am embarrassed beyond belief. I know that everyone's house gets messy sometimes, but this is the worse it's been in forever and he invites guests over! And dh knows how obsessed I am with making sure the house is presentable. I'm mortified that they think we live this way. #1 Why didn't dh say, 'Now isn't good, how about another time?" or #2 Why didn't dh say 'Sure, how about in an hour?' and then clean up a little bit real quick???? I have a feeling that dh was probably hanging out on the computer and let the 3 kids go hog wild for an hour and didn't even check on them. Ok, so that's not even the worst of it. Apparently while I was at my class dh took it upon himself to heat up the Forman Grill and grill greasy burgers on it.......and left it to get dry and crusty. I come home, tired and hungry, ready to grill our special dinner and the house is beyond nasty, I've been humiliated, dh already ate, he's sound asleep, I had to SCRUB the grill for over 10 min. (water and grease splattering everywhere.... why would he leave it to harden!??) and I still haven't had a bite to eat because the grill is just now starting to heat up. I wanted to be eating and relaxing by now. But it's 9pm and I'm starving I'll be up all night cleaning.

UUGGHH. I try to have a night out and this is what I get!

Thanks for listening.

MainelyFoolish · February 2010

Sometimes boys are dumb. Sad

Have a drink and put your feet up after dinner. Drinks

SarahGSLP · February 2010

I'd wake up my DH right about now just to let him have it

. Seriously though, boys are just dumb and somehow we survive day after day of it.

hellopoppyseed · February 2010

Wow you deserve to vent that's for sure.

wbl · February 2010

SarahGSLP:
I'd wake up my DH right about now just to let him have it .

Me too. You definitely deserve to vent. I can't even imagine how annoyed I'd be if I were in your shoes.

cp760 · February 2010

Thanks guys. I truly do feel better after getting it off my chest. I finally got my yummy dinner cooked and chilled out with my dvr'd American Idol. I didn't wake dh up... mainly because I wanted to have the dinner all to myself (it was too good to share) and I wanted to watch my show in peace.

Dh doesn't usually do stuff like this, so I was just floored by what I came home to. Anyway, I'm a million times calmer than if I would have simply woke dh up. I would have totally tore into him. The behavior is rare for him, so I'm trying to be rational and give him the benefit of the doubt (3 boys is a lot to juggle, plus getting dinner on the table for the kids....and he's a guy, they just cannot multi-task the way we do). I'm thinking that instead of flipping out, I'm simply just going to ask him to put the house back to the way I had it (that should be punishment enough....it's a mess!)

Thanks ladies!!

PS - for dinner I made jerk chicken with mango salsa (weight watchers). I LOVED it!!

mandymack · February 2010

Oh... My... Gawd!!!

I honestly would've woken my DH up with my stopping and huffing in our bedroom while getting into bed tonight, **IF** my slamming and scrubbing and cleaning up of HIS mess hadn't already woken him up, and probably would've given him a piece of my mind! argh!!!

BIG HUGS!!!

HarrietNJMommy · February 2010

You poor thing - that's really a rough situation to come home to!

Hopefully tomorrow is a MUCH better day. Get some rest!

Kitten80 · February 2010

OMGosh! I am soooo sorry! I don't understand men & their thought (or lack there of) process. I go through this alllll the time with DH and he wonders why I am 1. angry/frustrated 2. don't bother to go out or let him "take care of it". You are not alone (not that it makes the house clean or dinner done, but still). That stinks & I am really sad your night out was ruined. ::hugs::

palmtreemandy · February 2010

UGH!!!

How terrible!

I'd tell DH you deserve another night out because of said mess. If not to be a "sock it to him" kind of wife, at least tell him how disrespected you feel. If he doesn't know- he can't fix it.

Jerseygirl16 · February 2010

I agree with the boys are dumb sentiment. I hope you let him have it. You work hard and deserve a night off. And I totally agree... I would have been mortified too if DH let friends over when the house was in that condition. But, I'm sure that since they have kids and saw that your DH was "holding down the fort" they understood. Actually the mom probably understood and the Dad probably didn't even notice...lol.

HarrietNJMommy · February 2010

You did the right thing. There's no way I'd wake up my DH just to yell at him. It wouldn't do any good - what's done is done, unfortunately.

Hopefully he'll realize what he did and treat you to a free relaxation day!

Printergirl · February 2010

Maybe I'm a jerk but I would have woken my DH up, had him clean the grill and then cooked MY dinner and enjoyed eating it while drinking a glass of wine watching him clean up the mess. Seriously, does he come home from his outings to chaos?

tunanuna · February 2010

I am so sorry! What a horrible thing to come home to. I would've killed DH many times over. Does this usually happen on your nights out?

detroitblondie · February 2010

Awe... I totally would have flipped, too. However, I think you handled it perfectly! Rather than waking him up to go nuts on him only to possibly start a big blow out fight which would just add to the mess of the night you came to us (who totally "get it") got it off your chest and ended up enjoying your evening after all.

Stacyc625 · February 2010

I honestly think in my pregnant and hormonal state- i would have gathered EVERY last thing up that was out of place in several laundry baskets and dumped it in your bedroom for DH to deal with -

I would then- make dinner, grab a strong drink and sit down and watch your show.

THAT is just unexcusable and really stinks. Sorry you had that to come home to.

cp760 · February 2010

Printergirl:
Maybe I'm a jerk but I would have woken my DH up, had him clean the grill and then cooked MY dinner and enjoyed eating it while drinking a glass of wine watching him clean up the mess. Seriously, does he come home from his outings to chaos?

That would have been awesome to do!

Daisy77 · February 2010

Printergirl:
Maybe I'm a jerk but I would have woken my DH up, had him clean the grill and then cooked MY dinner and enjoyed eating it while drinking a glass of wine watching him clean up the mess. Seriously, does he come home from his outings to chaos?

This is what I would have done. I can handle toys everywhere. But ignoring common sense stuff like cleaning up after yourself? Oh hell no.

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vent - so much for ME time!

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