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3rd Trimester
You know what I can't stand! (vent)
I will most definitely get flamed for this.
I hate that just because I am 18 it means I wont be able to provide a good life for my child. Couples way older than me and DF have unplanned pregnancies and for some reason because of their age its so much more accepted? I also hate people assuming that me and my fiance got engaged after we found out that we were expecting and that that is the reason why we are engaged. I hate that my ring doesn't even fit anymore so now i get even crazier looks because I look 13. I also hate when people applaud DF for sticking around, UH.... isn't that the right thing to do. Its sad that that is not expected and people are so shocked by it. ALMOST DONE I am also hating the fact that my pants just now started not fitting!
I'm done. Thanks for listening. *sigh*
This discussion has been closed.
Re: You know what I can't stand! (vent)
No flames. I'm a young mom too... I had my first when I was 19 and I got a LOT of dirty looks when I was pregnant. I wasn't married to her dad, and we seperated shortly after her birth (he was a cheater). Just try to ignore how people look at you, or what they say. People are judgemental.
p.s You're maternity shots are FABULOUS!
Thank you. The photographer was amazing and I got them for free. She is also going to do a newborn session in the hospital for us.
No flames from me, I'm 22 but had my first at 19-I understand where your coming from. Those comments hurt...the looks hurt worse. Yes, my son wasn't planned...but that doesnt mean I don't love him any less-and can't provide for him. I don't rely on others to watch my son-very rarely do we take up peoples offers...
Too many bad apples out there have ruined what is suppose to be a joyous time for some of us. The best thing I can do is prove them wrong on their preconceived notions.
No flames here either. I know plenty of younger moms/couples with unplanned pregnancy and a good percentage of them have done a wonderful job of raising their child, have done everything in their power to provide for their child and I think it's great. The problem is there are people out there who do give young parents a bad name.
Screw what other people think, as long as you know you are doing the best you can then thats all that matters!
As for Couples way older than me and DF have unplanned pregnancies and for some reason because of their age its so much more accepted? - well, more often than not those couples have SOME sort of savings, job and LIFE experience, house or stability, IN GENERAL. Obviously this is not the case for everyone. Having more of an opportunity to save, live life, etc, usually means that those couples can cope FINANCIALLY (not necessarily EMOTIONALLY) better in an "Oh sh!t I'm having a kid!" situation than someone who might still be living home and depending on their own parents. And sorry, but most teen fathers do NOT stick around - it's just how it is, so for people to be shocked, well, try and understand where they're coming from too. And be happy that you are in a much better situation than some girls your age who are going through the stereotypical teen pregnancy.
yeah they didn't button, but I wore the belly band and it worked because i am a size 0 or 00 pre-pregnancy and so maternity pants were hard to find, but now my legs have grown to much. I still have one pair that are size 1 that fit.
OMG you're 18... you're kid is doomed!
Except that the BEST mother I know had 4 kids by the time she was 25. She is, in fact, a much better parent that a lot of the people we both know who are in their 30s.
Age ain't nothin' but a number. And that's the honest truth.
Well said.
No flames & best of luck to you. Your maternity photos are beautiful.
I agree with this exactly
Agreed!! Just b/c you are 18 doesn't determine how good of a mom you will be.
Me deuce... Especially what's in bold.
You also have to understand that no matter what you're really like, you're facing a failing statistic.
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tte03a3.aspx[/img]
People just need to mind their own business.. it's not news to anyone that sex=pregnancy. It can happen to anyone who is sexually active. You guys are on the right track... don't let anyone bring you down!
Didn't you just post about being on the WIC program? Correct me if I'm wrong, but there are nutritional issues involved with that?
No I am slightly anemic and that will help me get on WIC because its considered a nutritional issue, but what in the world does that have to do with my age. My body has a problem with iron? I also have an over active thyroid with causes my weight to be normally under whats considered normal. No i am not on WIC, but yes i do plan on applying because where I am they will rent you a breast pump at no charge. I don't see the problem?
Ok so you are going on WIC...which means you can't provide completely for your child. Because if you could then you wouldnt a)qualify and b) plan on applying.
Where should I give you kudos? When my tax dollars are supporting you?
The problem is that people will judge because if you were financially ready to have a child, you wouldn't need WIC. I can rent a breast pump at no charge too - through my company's insurance, which I pay for.
Whoa! Completely unnecessary! Between my husband and I we make MORE than enough money to provide completely for our child, but you better believe that if something was available like this for me, I would USE IT! That is what these programs are there for, and especially since she doesn't seem like she'll be abusing it. At any rate, you don't need to be saying something like this in the first place- its totally b**chy and uncalled for.
I am not a teen mom, however, I do applaud the OP for the decisions she is making. From what she's stated, she and her fiance are trying to provide an healthy, happy home for their child. And in my book, that's better than 90% of the people I know who use WIC adn food stamps. And how is she any different from any of us? We all want what's best for our children and whether or not we're financially "stable" has little to do with how well we parent or how much we love our kids.
At 18, people don't have the same opportunities to make money that someone 30 with a college degree and a career might. But as long as they are trying and as long as they love their kids and care for their kids, then the rest is just details. Would you rather she not take assistance and let her baby starve?
It wasn't intended to imply that she can't love your child as well as anyone else. However, her statements were:
I hate that just because I am 18 it means I wont be able to provide a good life for my child. Couples way older than me and DF have unplanned pregnancies and for some reason because of their age its so much more accepted?
Uh huh. The fact that you got pregnant at 18 DOES here apparently mean you can't provide for your child--because the government will be doing it for you. If you can't pay for food and formula, you can't provide for a child. Don't get on this board and complain about how you are being judged for being 18 and pregnant then, by trying to justify it that your age "doesn't mean you won't be able to provide a good life for your child."
"At 18, people don't have the same opportunities to make money that someone 30 with a college degree and a career might. "
THIS is why people who have babies at 18 are judged. If for some reason at 18 you are in a financially stable position and in a committed relationship with a partner, and I'll go one step further and say I even think you need to be married, then I don't care if you are 18 or 38. But, if you come on here and announce you're going to use WIC to provide for you baby, then expect to face some judgment. It's my understanding WIC isn't available to those with health issues, it's available to those who qualify financially.