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s/o XB - what are you telling your kids about "stranger danger"
We've had the talk several times with DD about what to do if someone wants her to go somewhere with them. We've gone through every.possible.scenario and she seems to "get it" because she'll talk about what to do (in detail)...but who really knows until the situation presents itself - like in XB's post?
How are you talking to your kids about this stuff?
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Re: s/o XB - what are you telling your kids about "stranger danger"
it's funny, I have no memory of stranger danger as a toddler. But I remember in elementary school a cop came to our school to talk to us and then it sunk in. I remember walking home from school and deciding right then (I remember the MOMENT thinking this) that if the "scary guy in a van" tried to take me or fool me I would fight, scream, bite and kick.
We haven't talked about it to DS yet, but I guess it's time. it's so hard, bc this is also the age of 'scary dreams' etc and I don't want to scare the shittt out of him either.
We read a Berenstein Bear book about strangers and then I kind of quizzed him about who was and wasn't a stranger, things he could and couldn't do with strangers, etc. I tried to use our neighbor as an example. He lives next door, but DS doesn't know his name, so we talked about how he could say hi, but not go in his house and how he should come ask mom or dad if someone said that mom or dad said it was ok to do something. He didn't really get it, though. Now he just asks if our neighbor lives next door everytime we drive by his house. :sigh:
I will be enrolling him in safety town this summer.
::waits for stats from JoeBunny::
This makes me realize that I have never had this kind of talk with DD. I watch her like a hawk when we are out, but XB's story shows how quick it can happen...
LOL! One of the first things I thought of when typing the post was...wonder if there will be stats posted?
I'm not at all. I don't believe in "stranger danger."
We have talked about not getting in the car with someone who he doesn't know, but we haven't made that big of a deal about it since he's young enough that he's not in a situation where he's out in public without a parent with him anyhow.
We've also talked about what to do if he ever gets lost and separated from us at a store, park, etc. We've taught him to find another mommy and ask for help, not to look for a police officer (because the liklihood of finding an officer in most situations is slim and a kid can't always distinguish between the uniform of a police officer, a security guard, or any other sort of uniformed person.)
But, I totally don't believe in teaching kids not to talk to strangers. Just doesn't make sense at all, IMO.
Honestly, not to trust anyone. I've gone over the whole actual strangers and be around of your surrounds but I've also started on even knowing people like doctors, cops, neighbors, etc. Not to run screaming or anything but to have your guard up and just be aware. Granted, he's 10 now and can grasp that concept of being aware of your surroundings but it's just scary out there.
I've told my kids if they ever get lost and can't find me or Daddy, they should look for someone with a nametag on, because that person generally would be an employee of the store. Not that everyone with a nametag is automatically trustworthy, but it gives them a place to look.
I'm with Cleo on this one. Not that I "don't believe" in stranger danger, but I have a very outgoing, friendly child and I'd feel like I were stifling her if she wasn't allowed to talk to anybody. She knows how to have appropriate, friendly conversation with just about anyone.
I was a painfully shy child and it's nice that she's not.
I do believe in teaching her not to go anywhere with someone she doesn't know or take candy/gifts from someone she doesn't know, but not talking to anyone? Doesn't make sense to me.
It just doesn't.
People tell their kids not to talk to strangers, but then every single day they see you interact with people who are total strangers: they see you talk to cashiers in store, make polite small talk with the other moms at the park, talk to the librarian at story time, etc. These people are all strangers, but yet you're telling your kid NOT to talk to stranger yet at the same time encouraging them to say bye-bye to the nice cashier. It's confusing to kids.
Plus, if they're ever lost, they're going to need to ask for help. How are they ever going to get an adult to help them if they're afraid of speaking to anyone who is a stranger?
See for me, B talks to everyone, I never teach her not to talk to strangers. I do however teach her about walking off with strangers, especially if a situation should present itself and my eye is not on her.
Now, I'm pretty vigilant about always keeping my eyes on her but as I said below, it can take a split second and they should be aware that not everyone is as they appear.
I don't think that teaching your kids about stranger danger = not talking to strangers. To me, it means being smart and not going along with whatever a stranger says. I agree that I don't want my kids to be terrified of strangers, but I don't want them to trust whatever a stranger tells them either. Teaching about stranger danger is how they learn where the line is.
Like Cleo, Hiker and others, I don't say "don't talk to strangers" it's more of what to do when they want you to go somewhere with them....
I completely agree. THere's a difference between talking to a stranger and knowing when to scream if someone tries to take you away or tries to get you to walk off with them. There is a line and kids should understand what is and isn't ok.
While I know that stranger abductions are rare, I think it's important to talk to kids about it & also just have a plan if they become separated from you. I've role played with my oldest about what someone might say to her & what she should do, ie: "Hey little girl, I have a really cute puppy in my car, want to come see it?" or "Want some candy? It's over here behind this building" Then she does her part, which is yelling "NO- YOU"RE NOT MY DAD (or mom) HELP HELP HELP" It's actually pretty dang funny to role play this. I've told her that if anyone ever tried to take her, that is the one time she's allowed to have the biggest meltdown of all time.
The scariest issue for me is molestation by a person known to the child- sadly, that is the most common. I plan on reasearching how best to talk to her about "good touch/bad touch" stuff because once they're getting older, getting involved in more school stuff where you may not necessarily be there- that's the danger time when things like that can happen.