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Was I being a b*tch? Kinda long

Jimsgirl5821Jimsgirl5821
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I have a friend who has no children yet but is so critical of what moms do with their babies (I'm sure we all know one). DD was sick a few weeks ago and I spent half the night in her room and missed most of the Superbowl party DH and I were throwing. This friend goes to me "well just let her cry, wont she just go to sleep?" Ummm, she had her first cold and felt like sh*t, I am not gonna let my sick baby CIO so I can hang out with you downstairs. I bit my tongue though. Last week she was criticizing something another girl was doing with her newborn or making comments the girl didnt get back to her about scheduling a ladies night or something. I could tell the new mom was upset. I didnt say it in front of everyone else, but I said to my friend, "If I can give you some advice, until you have gone 3 or more months straight on maybe 2 hours of sleep a night, dont offer your advice or criticism. New moms get very touchy about that type of thing, especially when it comes from people who dont know what it's like." I think she got mad at me. I wasnt trying to be mean, it was just I didnt want her to keep doing this and unknowingly piss people off.

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Re: Was I being a b*tch? Kinda long

  • Mrs.C042807Mrs.C042807 member

    No.  I would have said something way worse.

    I have a friend who wanted to know what SAHM on mat leave did all day.  She's now pregnant.  I can't wait for her to find out.

     

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  • SquishycheeksSquishycheeks
    Whether or not it pissed her off, good for you!
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  • Rizzo5Rizzo5

    Yes, but it sounds like it was needed.  Stick out tongue

    One of my BFFs is like this...she can never see the other side until she's the one going through it and then it's like the world is coming to an end.  She was like that when she got married, and I'm sure it will be the same once she has a LO but until then everyone else just has a 'problem.'  Lol. 

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  • ALittleBirdyALittleBirdy
    Nope, I also would have said way worse. Your friend sounds awful :(
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  • eml569eml569
    I probably would have said something much sharper to her.
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  • heatherlaneheatherlane member
    If she's a friend, no. I think everyone is so freaking scared of hurting people's feelings now that we aren't as blunt (ie:truthful) as we need to be sometimes. She obviously has no idea that when she makes comments like that she could be offending someone.
    Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
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  • katypressonkatypresson
    No...she needed to hear it. 
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  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member
    I think that was perfect, and I probably would have been more direct with her soon - but I have zero patience for anyone (another mom or not) being critical or offering unproductive advice. 
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  • honeybeezhoneybeez
    Not at all.
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  • alaskabride2bealaskabride2be
    I agree, you were not be a b!tch. She needed to be told and you did so. Like PP have said, it could have been done so much worse/mean.
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  • ShleiShlei
    You're not being mean at all. I would have done the same thing.
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  • Jimsgirl5821Jimsgirl5821
    imageRizzo5:

    Yes, but it sounds like it was needed.  Stick out tongue

    One of my BFFs is like this...she can never see the other side until she's the one going through it and then it's like the world is coming to an end.  She was like that when she got married, and I'm sure it will be the same once she has a LO but until then everyone else just has a 'problem.'  Lol. 

    Oh God, this! This same girl got married on Valentine's Day and I was in the wedding. She was bridezilla. I hate when people act like they are the first ones to ever have to do something!

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  • sprice88sprice88
    not b!tchy at all!!!
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  • julygaljulygal
    I don't think you were mean about it.  Sure her feelings may have gotten hurt, which might come across as anger, but that is because no one wants to hear they are doing something that hurts others.  It is easy to become defensive when someone is critical of your actions, even if it is constructive criticism and something you need to be made aware of.  Good for you for saying something.
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  • HarkelADHarkelAD
    I thought you were really nice actually, I would have probably said something much meaner and in front of everyone... likely in a "joking" way, but that's just my style I guess.  She sounds awful.  I hate when people give advice on kids and dont have any.
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  • T_&_AT_&_A

    imagekatypresson:
    No...she needed to hear it. 

    This.

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