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LucyPevensie
member
Having a really bad night. (long.)
LucyPevensie
member
I sometimes feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. My sister's 22 year old son is so ill - mentally ill - it is probably schizophrenia. He refuses to get help. He is verbally abusive to her and her two girls (16 and 8) and is becoming increasingly delusional - thinks people are putting things in his water and food - "remembers" things that never happened (like a woman who was in a car accident outside his house 7 years ago coming inside and feeding him a burrito that had poison in it - poison that is just now surfacing. There was never any car accident .. no burrito .. no crazy woman .. no poison. But he insists that all of it happened, and his mom just "doesn't remember.")
My sister had crisis mental health people at the house tonight - but they could not involuntarily commit him because he wasn't threatening to harm himself or anyone else. I am very, very, very afraid that something terrible is going to happen, that someone is going to get hurt. There is nowhere to "put" him - and for those who might say she has to throw him out - look at that baby in front of you (or inside you) - that is HER baby - he's just older, and very ill. There are no easy answers.
And this is my same sister whose husband died suddenly and horribly 4 years ago. They have very little money. No health insurance (the younger girls have it free through the state.) She is not a strong person, she battles depression - for HER to have to handle this too .. I get really angry at her sometimes because she is very inept and it makes me crazy - but tonight I feel so, so sorry for her. And for him. How horrible to have your brain not work - to think crazy thoughts and think they're real. It's not his fault.
And my nieces - this RIDICULOUS life they're living - a dead father (drug overdose) and a crazy, verbally abusive brother. And depressed mother. I mean are you KIDDING me? Oh - and a dead cousin who they were clsoe to - my other sister's son, lost to suicide. Yet they're somehow supposed to go to school, do well, not give up? Who could blame them.
I don't understand why all of this has to be SO HARD. And yes, it's not ME any of this is happening to - but it's people I love very much. And I feel so anxious tonight. And so upset.
I may have gotten my niece fired from Panera tonight too - I called and told her manager she had to leave and my husband would be picking her up and the biiitch gave me a hard time - even though she did have some idea of what was going on because my niece had told her. Are you kidding me? People leave their 6 figure jobs early due to lesser family situations - she's gonna give my niece (and me) a hard time because my niece has to leave her teenage minimum wage job an hour early because her brother's melting down and possibly being 302'ed? EFF off.
Life SUCKS sometimes ladies. Be so, so grateful for what you have, and if you and your loved ones are in a good place right now. Treasure it.
Wheee!
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Having a really bad night. (long.)
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Joey, Ronnie, and Audrey,
my awesome IUI 30 week twins, and my surprise miracle
LOVE my SAIF ladies
Thanks ladies. (And thank you for the back rub T - I am TENSE!)
He's not there tonight (my nephew.) After the 302 failure and a failed attempt to take him to a "regular" hospital for a psych eval - my sister ended up driving him to his one remaining friend's apartment - he's spending the night there (after which his friend will probably be very alarmed, to be honest, by nephew's ramblings.) So then what - I don't know.
My nieces are gorgeous girls too - truly - especially beautiful. Long, dark hair, huge brown eyes, full lips - beautiful half Italian, half Irish girls. The 16 year old and I have always been very close (ever since she was a baby - when she would reach for me and her mom would say "don't you want mama?" and she would shake her head and reach for me! Little brat, ha ha!) She has always been SO strong, she is a brilliant writer, so interesting to be with and talk to, even as a little girl - one of those "special" people, you know (not speshul! special.) But some of the light has gone out of her. Just a little - but even that is too much. Talk about innocence lost. Her dad died when she was 12 - and it never gets better. Just more shiit gets piled on. It's really quite stunning - and not in a good way.
Ugh. Sorry. Just having a really hard time tonight with my own anxiety and anger over all of this.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
{ { { Hugz } } }
I hope he gets the help that is needed and no one gets hurt. A true eye opener to lots of us i'm sure.
oh honey bun... i am so so sorry. i am just so sad for everyone in your family touched by this.
sending you massive hugs.
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Our successful cycle was IVF #2: Microdose Lupron Flare Protocol - 2 beautiful blasts transferred.
email me: gretchela@hotmail.com
Lucy, well, A, I'm so sorry for all that your family is going through. It does seem as though there is just one thing after another. I would be anxious and upset too.
The mental health system is so difficult to deal with. I have struggled with depression and ADD (turns out the depression was a by product of my, until 5 years ago, undiagnosed ADD). I have had to fight and fight to get the care that I needed--and I have had really good health insurance. And when I coud not fight, my mom stepped in and got all "mama bear" for me. All along, through it all, my thoughts often went to the people who did not have the resources or the abilities to fight like I/we did. It is so easy to stop fighting.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family. You all have been through so much. It really seems to me that the karma bus is due to roll around, for the good, for you all. Hang in there.
I am sorry, honey. I have some experience with mental illness and I just want to hug you and your sister and I wish there was more to say...
I hope somehow he gets the help he needs.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. It is so hard to watch the people you love go through this and feel powerless to help. The system is sadly not set up to help until there is a crisis moment. It is ridiculous that it has to get to that point before the authorities will step in. I think tonight your best bet is to just try to get some sleep (wine or something harder if needed to help). All you can really do is be there to listen and be a shoulder to cry on. I know it doesnt feel like enough but it is all you can really do and it sounds like she really needs it!
HUGS
After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!
Oh man, that all sucks SO hard. I wish I had advice - all I can think of is to have your sister keep trying to get him committed; it does indeed sound like schizophrenia and that is nothing to be trifled with. I am glad you pointed out that it is also a tragedy for him - what an awful affliction.
Thinking of you and your family.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I'm so sorry. It looks like you got lots of responses and I'm sure good ideas and support (haven't read them yet). But it really sounds like your nephew needs some mental health housing. I work in the field so I know how long these wait lists can be so I really think your sister should start working with the local community services board/mental health organization now to see what she needs to do to get him on a list. There are programs out there that will work with people even if they don't have insight into their illness, i.e are not willing to take meds, etc. (my agency runs several, but we're in northern va, I think your in the burgh, right?) If you need help researching such a place, page me and I'd be happy to help.
It is really best for everyone to have him somewhere else....he will feel more independent (and therefore more in control of if/how/when he decides to engage in mh services) Mom and sisters will be able to work a full shift at their jobs and yet see him, give him support and know he is being taken care of.
There is really so much hope for him, but he needs to be somewhere else. Hang in there, and please page me if you have any questions at all.
the poor kid. how awful... for everyone! I hope he eventually gets the help and support that he truly needs. I'm so sorry.
2 infertiles' journey to 2 pink lines (and a baby girl)
"our IF story"
Hi Lucy,
I feel terrible that you are having to deal with this not only tonight (last night) but all of the time. Mental illness isn't something that just appeared today in him, so I am sure your family has been struggling with this for a long time. I hope your sister can find a support network somewhere to help her out with this. Tell her not to give up. It is hard too because he isn't a child. There seems to be so many programs for children but adults sometimes have to fend for themselves which clearly doesn't work out the greatest.
Hang in there Lucy. You have Jack to take care of and he needs his Momma!
You are always so supportive of others. I hope you feel that we are here for you...strangers that we are:)
Take care!
How awful to have to have all that happening. My youngest sister (not the one whose wedding your DH is doing) suffers badly with bipolar disorder and it's very difficult feeling so helpless all the time and seeing what it does to the other people around. My sister ultimately got help from the state at Western Psych, but only because my mum threatened to kick her out after finding her passed out drunk on the bathroom floor (which was so incredibly painful and sad and hard for her).
It's completely unfair. You want somebody to blame but there isn't anyone and you want to help, but it's very difficult with an adult who's not in immediate danger.
I just think they're all very lucky to have you as extra support. The fact you care so much has to be worth something, and in that hopeless place, someone caring is worth a lot.