Sigh...dh is taking our cat to a no kill shelter

star173 · February 2010

He's an awesome cat...most of the time. He has moments where he literally goes psycho on us though. He's attacked dh and I multiple times over the past 2.5 years, rarely, but when he does, it's pretty brutal. I've tried to make excuses saying he thought we were going to hurt him- he's done it when his claws get stuck in my sweater or something, and I chalk that up to him trying to defend himself. Sometimes though, it's truly out of nowhere and totally unprovoked.

A couple months ago, he scratched DD on her forehead. That was it for dh, but I was the one home and had stepped out of the room for a second. I'm sure she messed with him in some way that caused him to scratch her. Still though, we looked for a new home for him and couldn't find one. We decided to give him one more chance...he blew it the other night.

I picked him up to take him outside with me so I could throw a load of clothes in the wash, because I never leave him and DD alone anymore (I can see DD from the laundry room). Anyway, he loves to be held. He was content in my arms. I bent down to put him down like I had done a million times before- and he latched on to my scalp, clawed the piss out of me, and would NOT release. I literally screamed and cried in pain over it. If he could do that to me, God knows what he could do to DD or our next baby.

So, we once again asked everyone we know to ask people they know, no one wants him. We really feel like this is best and safest for our family, but it does break my heart. I cried so much the other night knowing he'd have to leave soon that I had to have my mom come watch K.

The good news, he's cute and friendly and small for his age, so I have high hopes that he'll get adopted. The place has been around for a long time and is very reputable, so that makes me feel better.

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

mabst196 · February 2010

Ugh..... that sucks to have to make that decision. My cats may be a pain in my butt, but at least they are friendly all the time. They'd be on their way out if that happened .

carlab44 · February 2010

Oh man, I'm sorry. I honestly don't know what I'd do in that situation, but I don't fault you if your cat attacks like that.

I'm assuming he's been checked over by a vet to make sure he isn't in any pain or have anything else going on that could trigger that kind of reaction?

MissMoochie · February 2010

I'm sorry you have to get rid of him =( We are going through something similar with our cat, and I've convinced DH to give him a second chance. I'm sure there is someone out there who will adopt him.

*Mush* · February 2010

star173:
And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

that just made me laugh so hard!

seriously though, I would do the same thing. no flames here (((hugs)))

KittyCatBio · February 2010

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

b/c those are the only 2 choices you have? I hope your head feels better, but if you have such high hopes for adoption then I assume DH is going to lie about the reason you are surrendering. B/c if you told the truth the cat would be put down. So, some people adopt him, he goes crazy on them, and then he dies. They might not have the cohones to hold him while he dies, since you don't. Sorry, but you being responsible and taking him to be put down and holding him with love versus him dying alone are your actual choices-not get rid of K vs. get rid of your cat.

violetvirgo · February 2010

KittyCatBio:
And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

b/c those are the only 2 choices you have? I hope your head feels better, but if you have such high hopes for adoption then I assume DH is going to lie about the reason you are surrendering. B/c if you told the truth the cat would be put down. So, some people adopt him, he goes crazy on them, and then he dies. They might not have the cohones to hold him while he dies, since you don't. Sorry, but you being responsible and taking him to be put down and holding him with love versus him dying alone are your actual choices-not get rid of K vs. get rid of your cat.

huh? and it's "cajones".

star173 · February 2010

KittyCatBio:

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

b/c those are the only 2 choices you have? I hope your head feels better, but if you have such high hopes for adoption then I assume DH is going to lie about the reason you are surrendering. B/c if you told the truth the cat would be put down. So, some people adopt him, he goes crazy on them, and then he dies. They might not have the cohones to hold him while he dies, since you don't. Sorry, but you being responsible and taking him to be put down and holding him with love versus him dying alone are your actual choices-not get rid of K vs. get rid of your cat.

LOL....he doesn't plan to tell them the cat has had a few crazy episodes, no. Also, a family without kids could handle him- we were fine until we had a baby to worry about being attacked by him. And if he ends up getting put down, it's probably better that he dies like that than the way he would if he hurt my daughter the way he hurt me.

June2007 · February 2010

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

LMAO! I think youe made the right decision. Some cats are meant to be wild, call them domestic all you want but, honestly, cats do fine on their own. Obviously not in all part of the country (because of weather) but here in our local shelter does catch and release type thing where you can bring in a stray, get it fixed, agree to care for it while it heals, and then release it. I think its great! It sounds like your cat would be great like out on a farm or something, not a good house pet. Hopefully he'll find a good home!

carlab44 · February 2010

star173:
KittyCatBio:

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

b/c those are the only 2 choices you have? I hope your head feels better, but if you have such high hopes for adoption then I assume DH is going to lie about the reason you are surrendering. B/c if you told the truth the cat would be put down. So, some people adopt him, he goes crazy on them, and then he dies. They might not have the cohones to hold him while he dies, since you don't. Sorry, but you being responsible and taking him to be put down and holding him with love versus him dying alone are your actual choices-not get rid of K vs. get rid of your cat.

LOL....he doesn't plan to tell them the cat has had a few crazy episodes, no. Also, a family without kids could handle him- we were fine until we had a baby to worry about being attacked by him. And if he ends up getting put down, it's probably better that he dies like that than the way he would if he hurt my daughter the way he hurt me.

Honestly I'd be up front with the shelter. What if they do adopt him out to a family with children because they don't know his history and someone else's child is hurt. It is only fair to the cat, the shelter, and potential adopters that you are up front about the situation.

star173 · February 2010

DH just got back...the lady keeps the cats at her house while they're up for adoption, but she LOVES ours already and actually hinted about keeping him herself.

dupe · February 2010

*Mush*:
star173:

And if you want to flame me and say I should get rid of my children over my pet, then give me your address...I'll send you the cat.

that just made me laugh so hard!

seriously though, I would do the same thing. no flames here (((hugs)))

That made me giggle too. GL and yall are making the right choice. NO flames

Momma.Brown · February 2010

i'm sorry star that really sucks

i do agree with KCB and carla. you should at least tell the foster home that your kitty would do well in a home with out kids. he will still find a home. but i think you did the right thing giving him up. its a really tough decision.

labooshki · February 2010

It's a tough decision, but you've gotta do what's right for your DD!

~AllSmiles~ · February 2010

Momma.Brown:
i'm sorry star that really sucks
i do agree with KCB and carla. you should at least tell the foster home that your kitty would do well in a home with out kids. he will still find a home. but i think you did the right thing giving him up. its a really tough decision.

Yep, it's your responsibility to report those "crazy moments" so he doesn't get placed in other home with small children.

lauren&matt · February 2010

carlab44:
Honestly I'd be up front with the shelter. What if they do adopt him out to a family with children because they don't know his history and someone else's child is hurt. It is only fair to the cat, the shelter, and potential adopters that you are up front about the situation.

This!!! That's really sh!tty, to lie to the shelter... not fair to them, not fair to the future owners, and could give the future owners a bad taste in their mouth re: rescue. I really really hope your dh didn't lie to the shelter. That is horrible.

Echowysp · February 2010

Oh oh, countdown to pet board crazies in 3...2....1...

Anyway, don't feel bad. Cats do this sometimes and sometimes it's worth working with them and sometimes it's best to rehome them. Maybe she doesn't like having children in her house. Maybe she's got some underlying medical issue that makes her act that way (my brother's dog did that kind of crazy stuff when he developed a brain tumor). Maybe she's just an old crazy cat.

Either way, you do what's best for your family. You guys come first. {{hugs}}

WhyDoYouSuckSoBad · February 2010

I understand what you're going through. My cat got very aggressive during my pregnancy. We worked with her for 8 months trying many different things....3 different antidepressants, 3 vet visits that included tests to make sure there wasn't anything physically wrong with her (1st vet said she needs to be put down so we went to another vet) and she wasn't getting better. She was getting to the point to where she was attacking us 2 times a week - growling, hissing, biting, clawing, and cornering us (you couldn't move or she would just get madder at you). We called all the no kill shelters in the area and fully disclosed what was going with her. No one could take her because she was on antidepressants and was unadoptable because of her aggressive behavior. A week after I had my LO, she attacked my H while he was holding my LO. That was the last straw. We had to make the unfortunate decision to put her down. It was for the best. We couldn't take her to a shelter to stress her out even more where she would eventually be put down. It was the hardest decision because we loved her so much but we felt like we did our best to try to make it better.

star173 · February 2010

lauren&matt:

carlab44:
Honestly I'd be up front with the shelter. What if they do adopt him out to a family with children because they don't know his history and someone else's child is hurt. It is only fair to the cat, the shelter, and potential adopters that you are up front about the situation.

This!!! That's really sh!tty, to lie to the shelter... not fair to them, not fair to the future owners, and could give the future owners a bad taste in their mouth re: rescue. I really really hope your dh didn't lie to the shelter. That is horrible.

FFS, I didn't tell him what to say or not say! I asked him when he got home- he told her the cat has displayed aggression before. And, the cat will most likely stay with the lady who adopts them out through the no kill shelter. Relax.

lauren&matt · February 2010

WhyDoYouSuckSoBad:
I understand what you're going through. My cat got very aggressive during my pregnancy. We worked with her for 8 months trying many different things....3 different antidepressants, 3 vet visits that included tests to make sure there wasn't anything physically wrong with her (1st vet said she needs to be put down so we went to another vet) and she wasn't getting better. She was getting to the point to where she was attacking us 2 times a week - growling, hissing, biting, clawing, and cornering us (you couldn't move or she would just get madder at you). We called all the no kill shelters in the area and fully disclosed what was going with her. No one could take her because she was on antidepressants and was unadoptable because of her aggressive behavior. A week after I had my LO, she attacked my H while he was holding my LO. That was the last straw. We had to make the unfortunate decision to put her down. It was for the best. We couldn't take her to a shelter to stress her out even more where she would eventually be put down. It was the hardest decision because we loved her so much but we felt like we did our best to try to make it better.

(((hugs))) to you. I actually commend you for your decision and think that is 100000x better than dropping off the animal at a shelter, where it will be terrified and scared for 3 days and THEN be put down in an awful manner such as being gassed. In my city, 85% of animals don't make it out of the shelter simply bc there aren't enough homes. It's so sad

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that but you did try everything and made the best decision for your family and your cat.

ETA- your screen name??? I'm assuming you're an AE?

WhyDoYouSuckSoBad · February 2010

lauren&matt:
WhyDoYouSuckSoBad:
I understand what you're going through. My cat got very aggressive during my pregnancy. We worked with her for 8 months trying many different things....3 different antidepressants, 3 vet visits that included tests to make sure there wasn't anything physically wrong with her (1st vet said she needs to be put down so we went to another vet) and she wasn't getting better. She was getting to the point to where she was attacking us 2 times a week - growling, hissing, biting, clawing, and cornering us (you couldn't move or she would just get madder at you). We called all the no kill shelters in the area and fully disclosed what was going with her. No one could take her because she was on antidepressants and was unadoptable because of her aggressive behavior. A week after I had my LO, she attacked my H while he was holding my LO. That was the last straw. We had to make the unfortunate decision to put her down. It was for the best. We couldn't take her to a shelter to stress her out even more where she would eventually be put down. It was the hardest decision because we loved her so much but we felt like we did our best to try to make it better.
(((hugs))) to you. I actually commend you for your decision and think that is 100000x better than dropping off the animal at a shelter, where it will be terrified and scared for 3 days and THEN be put down in an awful manner such as being gassed. In my city, 85% of animals don't make it out of the shelter simply bc there aren't enough homes. It's so sad
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that but you did try everything and made the best decision for your family and your cat.
ETA- your screen name??? I'm assuming you're an AE?

Thank you so much....it was the hardest decision and we shed so many tears over this whole situation and I still get upset over it and it's been a year and a half. I never want to go through it again and I probably will never get another pet. It was too heart breaking. I just pray that my other cat will stay sane. And yes, this is an AE - I'm scared of the pet board people beating me down. I asked them for advice over this situation and they pretty much said I should keep her in a room by herself for the rest of her life. How is that a good solution?

IckyThump · February 2010

WhyDoYouSuckSoBad:
I understand what you're going through. My cat got very aggressive during my pregnancy. We worked with her for 8 months trying many different things....3 different antidepressants, 3 vet visits that included tests to make sure there wasn't anything physically wrong with her (1st vet said she needs to be put down so we went to another vet) and she wasn't getting better. She was getting to the point to where she was attacking us 2 times a week - growling, hissing, biting, clawing, and cornering us (you couldn't move or she would just get madder at you). We called all the no kill shelters in the area and fully disclosed what was going with her. No one could take her because she was on antidepressants and was unadoptable because of her aggressive behavior. A week after I had my LO, she attacked my H while he was holding my LO. That was the last straw. We had to make the unfortunate decision to put her down. It was for the best. We couldn't take her to a shelter to stress her out even more where she would eventually be put down. It was the hardest decision because we loved her so much but we felt like we did our best to try to make it better.

This makes me so sad. I'm so sorry - it really sounds like you did what you had to do and made the best decision for your family and your cat.

k8elee03 · February 2010

This is soooo not a flame, I promise I'm asking honestly, but did you ever trim his claws?

The reason I ask is that my kitty is declawed but old, and if I knew then what I know now about declawing, I wouldn't have done it. So the next time I get a cat, I probably won't declaw it, but I am really worried about this kind of thing, and I just wondered if trimming the claws would help.

I am sorry that you are going through this, and if I saw a cat scratch that close to my DD's eye, well, I can't say what I would do in that situation unless I were in it, but I'm sure it wouldn't be easy.

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