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Baby Present Vent (yes I realize it is flameworthy)

adorsey2000adorsey2000
in Pregnant after a Loss

So DH's brother is pretty well off (okay really well off financially) and they always TELL us what to get them for Christmas, Bdays, etc.  They don't ask us the limit we want to spend or anything else, they send us a link to whatever they want - we figure out a way to buy it (we are not well off financially - we are comfortable but live on a budget).  In their defense, they always spend the same amount on us..so it just evens out is how I figure it.  We usually ask for a Target gift card so that we can buy whatever we want/need.

They had a baby last year and told us what to get them - a $450 stroller (we split it in half with his other brother).  Seriously sent us the online link to purchase, told us the color and to purchase on an exact date so that he got the newest model.  This was way out of the price range that we were going to spend (basically double) but that's what they wanted, he is our nephew...we made it work. Side note - we never got a thank you note.

So they asked us what we wanted about a month ago - we said a Babies R Us gift card, so we could get necessities.  In the mail today comes $100 worth of Babies R Us gift cards from them via their bank rewards system.  How do I know this - they shipped it directly from their bank Rewards card catalog (the sheet was enclosed).  I am not angry that it was half the amount - whatever...but is that really a gift??  You redeemed your rewards points for us and are too lazy to ship to yourself and put in a card to send to us???

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Re: Baby Present Vent (yes I realize it is flameworthy)

  • LemonLime10LemonLime10
    Wow....that would definitely frustrate me! First of all, I hate when people (without being asked) tell me exactly what to get them. I think it's fine to give a few ideas or if I ask give me one exact thing. Second of all, I can't believe they shipped you an gift card from their rewards! The least they could have done is sent it to you themselves! 
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  • kellieokkellieok
    That is messed up. I have family and friends that do that kind of sh*t to me too. Well for me they don't exactly tell me what to get them but I have a few friends that we normally spend about $100 on each other for christmas and bdays... well this past year I got regifted about 4 times (where they got it as a gift and then gave it to me as my gift)... Needless to say I am pissed and I won't be spending $100 on them anymore and I am getting things they can't return. I can be very evil if you push me to that level...
    BFP #1: 10/17/08 EDD: 6/24/09-missed m/c; d&c on 12/8/08 BFP #2: 11/7/09 EDD: 7/15/10-Cabe born on 7/9/10 BFP #3: 10/7/11 EDD: 6/20/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker A Butterfly lies beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment, its beauty and glory belong to our world. But then it flies on again. And though we wish it could have stayed we feel so lucky to have seen it. In loving memory of MrsTyson's precious Julia.
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  • wife1014wife1014 member

    Wow!  I am not sure what to say to this.  First, you should stop buying them gifts they "tell you to buy" which are out of your budget.  Second, I think you should ask them if they need the receipt from the rewards program to keep track of what they "spent".  As for them being wealthy...remember wealth doesn't equal class and they have definitely proven this.

    BTW, other than you and DH always buying what they tell you, this is not flameworthy at all!

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  • attyaliceattyalice
    I would be totally hacked off...
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  • redshoegirlredshoegirl member
    imagewife1014:

    Wow!  I am not sure what to say to this.  First, you should stop buying them gifts they "tell you to buy" which are out of your budget.  Second, I think you should ask them if they need the receipt from the rewards program to keep track of what they "spent".  As for them being wealthy...remember wealth doesn't equal class and they have definitely proven this.

    BTW, other than you and DH always buying what they tell you, this is not flameworthy at all!

    Yes Totally agree. Especially that you need to stop buying whatever they ask you for if it's not in your budget (I know, you can make it work, but you shouldn't have to). I'm sure the conversation would be awkward as ass, but that's just not good on so many levels.

    And yeah, I'd be a bit cheesed off as well - I mean I know a gift is a gift and $100 is gift cards is $100 in gift cards, but still!

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  • nicobean1nicobean1 member

    That is low class. Just shows you that wealth does not equate to good manners or sophistication. I love the pp that said to ask them if they need the rewards receipt. Then they'll know YOU know.

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  • adorsey2000adorsey2000

    Thanks for the support ladies.  I know we shouldn't continue to buy whatever but I feel like this is DH's issue to work on and not mine.  Its his brother and I honestly never talk to them or see them (they live across the country from us).  I've always had an issue with it and have learned its just not worth the fight with DH.  DH hates confrontation and will NEVER say anything.  He doesn't really talk to his parents so feels like his brothers are his only family. Quite honestly, I use the gift cards they buy us in exchange for what we spend on them, so it basically just feels like we swap funds - which I find incredibly stupid and thoughtless...not what I feel gift giving should be about.  

    I know we asked for gift cards (which are thoughtless enough) but sending them this way seems to make it even more thoughtless and unmeaningful.

    And DH just got home and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it.  His response "What it is $100 in gift cards - who cares how they purchased it?"  Ugh:(  

     

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  • vsackett1vsackett1 member
    Ugh, I would be SO annoyed, and I hate it when people don't send thank you cards either, so rude.
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  • shawn&tonyshawn&tony
    imagewife1014:

    Wow!  I am not sure what to say to this.  First, you should stop buying them gifts they "tell you to buy" which are out of your budget.  Second, I think you should ask them if they need the receipt from the rewards program to keep track of what they "spent".  As for them being wealthy...remember wealth doesn't equal class and they have definitely proven this.

    BTW, other than you and DH always buying what they tell you, this is not flameworthy at all!

    I couldnt have said this any better!!! this hit it right on the head!!! WoW! family....

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  • abs711abs711 member

    And DH just got home and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it.  His response "What it is $100 in gift cards - who cares how they purchased it?"  Ugh:(  

    Ugh Dh really?  The problem is they did not PURCHASE it!!!  They purchased crap for themselves and gave you the reward they got for it!!!  I would be really p'ed off also.  I would definitely put your foot down the next time they inform you guys what to buy them. 

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  • jen-dalejen-dale member
    imagenicobean1:

    That is low class. Just shows you that wealth does not equate to good manners or sophistication. I love the pp that said to ask them if they need the rewards receipt. Then they'll know YOU know.

    This!
    Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
    You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
    After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.

    Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
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  • TeenyLilacTeenyLilac
    Wow, that's really tacky of them.  Not cool.
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