nbr: how can I help dh lose weight?

lrb · February 2010

Random. He has been trying for years now to loose weight to no avail. He knows his problem is himself- portion control and his inability to say no to his favorites (coke, cheese, disdain for veggies). He is very tall so it doesn't look like he is overweight but he wants to loose about 20 lbs. He does go and work out but it's not a regimented workout and it's not always regular. He loves to look for quick fixes and has tried a few different pills along the way such as Advocare, etc. I on the other hand am blessed that I can eat crappy and not gain (crossing fingers I stay that way). So, it's not like I have the motivation to work out with him- although I do try from time to time. I always cook veggies and have fruit around the house for the boys, but I can't force him to eat them! And, I always fix his plate but he'll go back for more and then he'll snack before bedtime.

If your husband has battled weight, what has worked for him? Should he get a personal trainer for a while? Should we go to a dietician together? Should I try to cook from like a Weight Watchers type program for him? I'd appreciate any suggestions you can give. I'm at a loss of how I can help. TIA!

Taytee · February 2010

I wish I knew. I'm in the same boat. I don't have to work hard to look the way I do and DH is tall and a little overweight. OK, getting a little more noticibly overweight as the years go by but you KWIM. I fix healthy meals.

I've tried everything from letting him join a fancy gym to practically threatening him but the motivation has to come from inside. I even tried bribing him with sex!

Nessia · February 2010

Weight Watchers worked very well for me before DS was born (45lbs). Trainers say that 80% of weight loss is about nutrition and that's why WW works well for so many people. They teach you how to eat in a healthy way. I keep saying I'm going to start up again and just don't get back on the wagon. Weight loss is a mental thing. You have to be in the right mindset and I haven't been able to get my mind back in the mindset it needs to be. I was seeing a counselor when I lost weight before DS and I'm going to go back to see a counselor to see if I can get back where I need to be.

lrb · February 2010

He has the desire (he talks about it constantly) but I think he is just confused on where to start. I feel like he asks me for help but he needs to hear it from elsewhere. I don't think he's ever go to a WW meeting alone. He'd go if I went but I don't need to. That's why I was thinking maybe a trainer or a dietician? He's just overwhelmed by how he can get to his goal... someone needs to spell it out for him and I'm not the right person for the job!

AustinMimi · February 2010

For us, things changed when DH was diagnosed with diabetes. We went to a nutritionist and he saw how the portions worked, healthy snacks, etc. I find that it is much easier to keep him on track if I make sure to have a ton of healthy snacks and a good lunch for him to take to work. I cut up a lot of fruit and veggies and store them in small silicone-lidded tupperware. Going out to lunch = diet killer.

I don't think it's good to cut out ALL of the things you like (although, in my DH's case, he did have to do that for some things), but he will have to take it upon himself to not drink the coke mindlessly or snack on junk food.

brideonjuly8 · February 2010

I wish I knew too. DH wants to be 30 lbs lighter but his weakness is fast food. With this new job he's only had about a half hour for lunch so that's about the only option he has (he won't take his lunch, I've tried so many times). He's been working such long days he can't get to the gym either. The only thing that has ever worked for him is no fast food and hitting the gym 5 days a week. A few months before our wedding he ate nothing but ham sandwiches for 2 weeks and lost 15 pounds...grrr....then he gained it all back right before the wedding. LOL

He's a SUPER picky eater and I can't ever trick him with healthy options, like ground turkey or whole wheat pasta. He can tell and then won't eat it, and goes and gets fast food. So, it's hard to cook "healthy" at home. I don't cook bad stuff, but I don't do WW recipes or anything.

Nessia · February 2010

lrb:
He has the desire (he talks about it constantly) but I think he is just confused on where to start. I feel like he asks me for help but he needs to hear it from elsewhere. I don't think he's ever go to a WW meeting alone. He'd go if I went but I don't need to. That's why I was thinking maybe a trainer or a dietician? He's just overwhelmed by how he can get to his goal... someone needs to spell it out for him and I'm not the right person for the job!

Maybe go with him for a few meetings and then he'll be comfortable enough to go on his own. There is also just the online WW but that works a lot like spark people. It's a food tracker. Going to the meetings will teach you about whats good and bad and portion control. It's also a great accountability because you weigh in every week. Also desire and will power are two different things. I have the desire to lose weight but I'm having issues with the will power to follow through. Has he tracked his food consumption at all like on a site like sparkpeople on loseit app on the Iphone? Sometimes just tracking your calories (points for WW) will be a big eye opener.

lrb · February 2010

ohhh- Nessia... this iPhone app you speak of might be a good little option. I'll download it on his phone tonight! THX!

twolverton · February 2010

In the last 3+ weeks I have found a lot of success with WW and so that is going to be my suggestion. Because you count the points, if he's good about sticking with it, it'll help him realize the snacks and make better adjustments for them. Also, if he's not the type to attend the meetings he can always give it a try online and get all of the benefits although they do say the meetings have a higher success rate. Good Luck!

richardslove · February 2010

Does N like to follow a program? Does he have an iPhone? He can download the Couch to 5K running program to his iPod or iPhone from iTunes. I love it. It tells you when to walk/jog/run. There is a 5K and a 10K program. It's a very easy program to follow that is step by step to help you work toward walking/jogging/running a 5 or 10K. It seems for us, if we have a goal event, we are more likely to train/work out. The Texas Round-Up is at the end of April and N could train for it beginning now.

As far as the snacking. That's a tough one. I try not to buy chips, candy, cookies. If it's not there me or DH can't eat it. I always have a fruit bowl on the counter, and baggies of cut up fruit (apple slices, grapes, blueberries, etc) in baggies in the fridge for us to grab for snacking. If he's going to snack, he needs to balance out the calories he's taking in. It's really about what's going in and are you burning enough to prevent the weight gain.

The good thing about the walk/jog/running program is it's good for N cardiovascular health, stress management, weight loss, and muscle building.

GL!

Chicklit · February 2010

DH and I were having a lot of success with Lose It! for the iPhone. I think any program that requires you to measure and track what you eat helps a lot. If I'm not tracking what I eat, it's way too easy to end up over budget on calories for the day. (Case and point: I stopped tracking food three weeks ago and put on two pounds. Ugh.)

Ditto on not buying junk food. I've noticed that if we have chips and ice cream and junk in the house, it's way too easy to help yourself to that instead of fruit or vegetables.

You mentioned he doesn't like vegetables but will he eat them if they're in a dish rather than by themselves? DH is also veggie avoidant, but that really only applies to "sides." If I mix them into a stir-fry, he'll eat them up. Cooking Light has a lot of great stir-fries and they give you approximate portion sizes.

I also hate going to the gym on my own. It really helps to have DH go with me. But since he isn't a fan, I joined a spinning class and I love it. I actually look forward to my classes. The instructor keeps me motivated and having a set time and routine makes sure I show up.

Good luck.

thethomps · February 2010

Does he have an iPhone? A guy friend of ours just lost 25 or so lbs. with an app on there that is similar to WW - you input the food you're eating and it calculates your calories for you. He said it was super easy since he always had his phone with him and I know that writing down what you eat really makes you think about what you're putting in your mouth!

Um, yeah, what everyone else above said.

Nessia · February 2010

thethomps:
Does he have an iPhone? A guy friend of ours just lost 25 or so lbs. with an app on there that is similar to WW - you input the food you're eating and it calculates your calories for you. He said it was super easy since he always had his phone with him and I know that writing down what you eat really makes you think about what you're putting in your mouth!
Um, yeah, what everyone else above said.

That's probably LoseIt.

smb29 · February 2010

I've done WW before and unless your hubs is a touchy-feely guy, its probably not for him (at least the meetings). I hated meetings, and usually just went to weigh in. That is effective because you do not want to look that woman in the eye and have her say you gained a pound or two. If he is open to going to a nutritionist, I do recommend that. They can help you will meal portions and snacking ideas, plus its a third party "expert" that is telling him what to do, not you. My nutritionist even went to the grocery store with me. She also tested me for how many calories I burn, so we could calculate how many calories I need a day and figured out how to adjust that for me to lose weight. Also, I have a food scale that I bought at BBB for like $25 that is awesome - I use it all the time in cooking, even when I'm not trying to lose weight. It will really help with portion control because you can't lie to yourself about that 8 oz steak being 3 oz.

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