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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Mrs.Teddy
member
MIL vent re: seperation anxiety LONG
Mrs.Teddy
member
We went to a party today that my ILs were at. L fell asleep on the way there. We put a blanket over the carrier and just told people he was sleeping. We got our food and settled in to eat and MIL told us to go to another area of the hosue she would watch L, I said no that if he woke he woudl want me. She argues but I stayed. She kept lifting the blanket to show him to people I am convinced she was trying to wake him.
Anyways he woke up a while later, I got him out and he was a bit diroriented because we were in strange loud place with a lot of people. Right away MIL tried to take him from me, I said no and turned away, I explained I wanted to give him a few mintues to warm up to the place. DH got mad at me said Iw as being rude because his mom was eager to show him off but agreed with me in front of her at least (we have agreed to support eachother and discuss the differences in private). So I gave in and handed L over. Well MIL literally runs off with him and takes him to another room.
Within minutes I could hear L screaming, like i thought she dropped him ( I still think she bumped him or something) I have only ever heard him scream like that if he was hurt. So I go off to fidn him. Some strange women is holding him very tightly over her shoulder and he is wailing and archign his back, just loosing it. I nicely said here I'll take him, she said NO HE'S FINE (umm WTF lady give me my kid) I said no he's upset please give me him. Well now they are all talking in filipino and clearly annoyed that I took him.
I went upstairs to calm and nurse him, he wasn't hungry but I knew that would help. MIL came into the room without knockign asking for him. I said umm I am feeding him and he's upset you can't have him now, could we please be alone (you effing nutcase)
After a bit he was calm I brought him back downstairs. Doesn't MIL come and pull him out of my arms, again he started wailing, again I took him and at least he quickly calmed for me. I wish I was exaggerating when I sid htis happened at least 8 times. Each time me politely trying to protest, each time either MIL or FIL pulling him from my arms and him flipping.
DH and I ended up taking L to another area of the hosue that had less people and more kids, which L loves. He was happy until MIL came and took him again. She complained to DH in filipino that I wasn't sharing and she hasn't been able to show him off yet because I keep him to myself (DH told me since they won't speak english in front of me). DH explained to her that L is teething and that seperation anxiety is very common esp when he is in a strange place with so many new people.
Needless to say she is pissed she called here tonight to b!tch to DH about it. He stood his ground and defended me. We ended up leaving because his parents just wouldn't stop literally making my kid cry. They kept saying I was starvign him because I wouldn't feed him chocolate covered strawberries that he was reaching for! Grrr.
Poor baby has never acted that way before but I don't blame him I want to cry when I am around them sometimes too!
Thanks for listening!
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Re: MIL vent re: seperation anxiety LONG
That sounds awful and I think you have the right to feel the way you feel about it. Maybe she felt bad that he was crying and kept thinking if she had just one more try (and one more and one more) that he would eventually be okay with her? Either way, I probably would have left as well.
I think that it is great your DH stood up for you and DS to them (even if he didn't totally agree). I try to do the same with my DH.
I would of flipped out right here. I think you have a lot of patience to deal with your ILs.
I have no advice, but if you ever want to vent, we're here for you.
Good for your DH to support you!
Oh she's seen my true colours and she knew I was pissed she doesn't care. I was trying to remain composed because I really like the people's house that we were at and overall I just don't want people to get a bad impression of me. I think it was clear that she kept making him cry. Some people I think thought he shouldn't cry and should be happy to be passed around (like he did last weekend for his baotism). But he wasn't and he's a baby and he's entitled to that (IMO).
Well I am not sure what other MILs excuses are but mine has no experience with raising DH. When I ask her things about how he was as a baby (did he cry, did he like solids, when did he get teeth, etc) she says she doesn't know. That his grandma, aunt and nannies took care of him. She NEVER changed his diaper or fed him a bottle ever. She's a freak not a nurturing motherly bone in her body. She says she should get extra time with L because of this, umm sorry lady you gave up your chances with your only son, this ones mine (yup I'm bitter sorry she just irks me!)
Grrr. . .something similar happened to me yesterday, except it only happened twice, thank God. I just don't understand people. WTF do they mean, you're not sharing? He isn't property, he's a person. If he doesn't want to go to MIL or some weird lady, that's his choice. If he wants to stay with his mom, that's his choice. Grrrr, I hate people sometimes.
I'm sorry. I would have lost my mind.